Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Keeping 10yDD in car seat 5 point harness

77 replies

Jc1920x · 28/10/2022 16:36

My DD has just turned 10 and we still use the booster seat with a back and a harness , although one of the bigger ones. She's small for her age and fits well into it and much better than with the belt, thus it appears to keep her more safe.

She's not happy however with being fastened in all the time and wants rid of the car seat as some of her friends travel without a car seat at all and all but one other uses a belt. Most are bigger than her and I still don't think it's the safest for them, but I'm not going to challenge other parents choices as some is affordability etc.

Am I being unreasonable in keeping her in the harness or should I relent with her peer pressure and let her have a backless booster seat? What do you all do with your DCs and when did you move through the options?

OP posts:
Bramshott · 28/10/2022 16:59

My small DD was in a high back booster with the seatbelt until the end of primary school, and then a backless booster cushion in our car (though obviously not in anyone else's car) until she was about 12 and a half. None of her friends ever commented unkindly on it, knowing that she was just smaller than them. That said OP, as you've discovered, it's actually safer for them to be in the seatbelt rather than the harness over a certain age, as well as more "freeing" in terms of being able to reach stuff.

KillingLoneliness · 28/10/2022 17:02

Does she even need a booster seat at all at 10!?
My kids are 11 and 9 and haven’t needed one for quite a few years now due to their height and weight.

santastolemycat · 28/10/2022 17:03

There’s a good facebook group called Car Seat Advice Uk. If you post your daughters weight and height they’ll advise you of your best options

BlackLambAndGreyFalcon · 28/10/2022 17:03

My 10 year old DD is small for her age and is still in a hbb and will be there for the foreseeable. Ideally I'd like her to remain in it until she was nearer 150cm, but she'll probably only get to about 135cm when she turns 12 (we're a non-car owning family and we mainly use the seat when travelling overseas and we won't be able to check the seat in once she turns 12 regardless of her height).

Original poster
Jc1920x · 28/10/2022 17:05

Bramshott · 28/10/2022 16:59

My small DD was in a high back booster with the seatbelt until the end of primary school, and then a backless booster cushion in our car (though obviously not in anyone else's car) until she was about 12 and a half. None of her friends ever commented unkindly on it, knowing that she was just smaller than them. That said OP, as you've discovered, it's actually safer for them to be in the seatbelt rather than the harness over a certain age, as well as more "freeing" in terms of being able to reach stuff.

Thank you, we'll look into an appropriate HBB for her, as she fitted well in her current one we'd wrongly assumed it was the correct choice

OP posts:
Original poster
Jc1920x · 28/10/2022 17:05

santastolemycat · 28/10/2022 17:03

There’s a good facebook group called Car Seat Advice Uk. If you post your daughters weight and height they’ll advise you of your best options

Thank you! I'll find this and see what's recommended

OP posts:
ValerieDoonican · 28/10/2022 17:09

My late dFiL insisted DH & dBiL wore harnesses in the car when they were kids (as opposed to toddler. My dh is nearly 60 now. He still mentions it occasionally - and not in a good way 😄

Sirzy · 28/10/2022 17:09

Ds is 12 and is only just moving out of his booster (mainly his choice but I wasn’t rushing it) but even I think still using the harness at 10 is extreme!

Original poster
Jc1920x · 28/10/2022 17:10

ValerieDoonican · 28/10/2022 17:09

My late dFiL insisted DH & dBiL wore harnesses in the car when they were kids (as opposed to toddler. My dh is nearly 60 now. He still mentions it occasionally - and not in a good way 😄

Yup I've got some making up to do this weekend haha

OP posts:
b8tes7sw · 28/10/2022 17:10

I thought most 5 point harnesses go up to 25 kg weight?? Is she over this?

JudjyPants · 28/10/2022 17:11

5 pint at aged 10?!

How small is she?!

I was the last person I knew using rear facing and a 5 point harness aged 5! And my DC aren't big.

Forward facing booster with adult seatbelt is almost outgrown now for my eldest who is 10.

MrsMAC1234 · 28/10/2022 17:12

Don't be too harsh on yourself, you were simply doing what you thought was best to keep her safe

BeautifulDragon · 28/10/2022 17:13

I've never known anyone use a harness over age 4, maybe 5 at a push! I honestly can't imagine doing that to a 10yo.

I think you should listen to what your child wants to do, alongside the safety advice.

AmySma1i · 28/10/2022 17:14

Definitely should be out of the harness, but you can probably still use a booster seat for now

Notplayingball · 28/10/2022 17:19

tunthebloodyalarmoff · 28/10/2022 16:53

How embarrassing for her
She will be mortified if anyone sees her

👀

Whinge · 28/10/2022 17:19

Yup I've got some making up to do this weekend haha

I think you need to start with apologising to her. You've been telling her it's to keep her safe and you were wrong about that. Look at the information together and then have a chat about what changes you're going to make.

justasoul · 28/10/2022 17:19

Don’t beat yourself up, OP. I also have a small one and my DD hit the 25kg mark when she was about 10 - though we didn’t have a 5-point harnessed booster… depends on how your seat’s weight limit and your DD’s weight. Everyone on MN birthed giants so they don’t understand Grin

Original poster
Jc1920x · 28/10/2022 17:21

Whinge · 28/10/2022 17:19

Yup I've got some making up to do this weekend haha

I think you need to start with apologising to her. You've been telling her it's to keep her safe and you were wrong about that. Look at the information together and then have a chat about what changes you're going to make.

Totally, I've always being open with my daughter about admitting to mistakes and that's helped her be mature in so many ways, I can't teach that lesson without being open myself. We'll show this chat and although she needs a seatstill on evidence she can pick out from the ones that fit the needs

OP posts:
Original poster
Jc1920x · 28/10/2022 17:23

justasoul · 28/10/2022 17:19

Don’t beat yourself up, OP. I also have a small one and my DD hit the 25kg mark when she was about 10 - though we didn’t have a 5-point harnessed booster… depends on how your seat’s weight limit and your DD’s weight. Everyone on MN birthed giants so they don’t understand Grin

I think based on this she's been over weight since around late 8ish although I'd have to look at doctor notes. Not disastrous but frustrated I've not being keeping her as safe as possible along with her potential embarrassment.

She is always the one on the front row of school photos though as she's quite small!

OP posts:
Athenen0ctua · 28/10/2022 17:23

KillingLoneliness · 28/10/2022 17:02

Does she even need a booster seat at all at 10!?
My kids are 11 and 9 and haven’t needed one for quite a few years now due to their height and weight.

Your 9 year old must be very tall to have not needed a booster for a few years! DS was average height at 138cm at 10 and the legal minimum is 135cm. The seatbelt still didn't fit him properly in the backseat of many cars at that point.

Userno53363636736373 · 28/10/2022 17:30

What is her actual weight? You must not use a 5 point harness over the specific weight given - most 18kg, a few are 25kg because it's not safe if you were to have a collision.

dementedpixie · 28/10/2022 17:37

Most harnesses are up to 18kg although a few are 25kg. My dcs were over 18kg by the time they were 5 I think so moved to high backed booster with seat belt from then.

Calmdown14 · 28/10/2022 17:59

This is dangerous. She'll be over the weight limit. Watch some videos about how the buckles shatter.

If you want to use a high back booster that's fine but it should be with a seat belt.

Some of it depends on the car. My nine year old still uses a booster but the seatbelts in my car come from quite high up. Technically he is tall enough not to need one and in a city car his head would be through the roof. Similarly I had to get rid of the high backed part as I could no longer get the seatbelt high enough on his shoulder.

At this stage you are best to look at how the seatbelt fits rather than going exclusively by age of height (assuming she's over the minimum legal size).

Ducksurprise · 28/10/2022 18:01

Safer to use a booster until you are 1.54m and if below that you are safer using it whatever your age. My sister at 30 still uses one.

MsTSwift · 28/10/2022 18:08

10 in a baby seat! Amazed she hadn’t put her foot down !

Swipe left for the next trending thread