To expect people to RSVP for children's parties?

[Goneblank38]

Hi all,
None of my child's friends have replied to her invitation yet and we're left wondering if we should go ahead with our booking or switch days. Why is it so hard for people to do something simple that takes a minute and is just a common courtesy? I get people are busy, but it's hardly time consuming. We don't have everyone's contact details, so the invite was sent out via her school making it hard to follow up.

This is more of a rant really. I just feel like, imagine it was your kids birthday? Take a second and do the polite thing y'know?

Agree op, rude not to. Just do it when you get the invite ,- it's not hard!

Thank you! I sometime feel like we use being busy or time poor as an excuse to be thoughtless.

Did you put a date to rsvp by? Very rude though, I'd be annoyed too. Mind you, with zero replies I'd be checking school didn't forget to hand them out.

Hiya, we put the RSVP date on both email and paper invites. Had a chat to the school and they definitely sent the email and gave out the paper invites. No recent fallings out between friends wither. We're wondering if we just picked a bad date or time and should reschedule.

Or people are just rubbish at replying. I used to have to actively chase replies both in the playground and via text/email (which sometimes involved a lot of detective work when I didn't have their text/email). Some people wouldn't reply to these either and then turned up.

Depends on the date you've chosen but in general I'd chase replies and go ahead with the party.

This happened to me last month . It’s so rude! Luckily I had booked an activity where numbers could vary , but I had no idea how many would turn up as only 6 out of 16 replied . In the end 14 turned up .

Any time I’ve been in this position people ended up just turning up, the vast majority of them. I also played detective and hunted people down, it’s so rude and worrying that your child won’t have anyone show up is horrible!

I would chase them up on the playground.

And that is absolutely shocking that only 6 out of 16 people RSVP'd to a previous poster. People are unbelievable.

I agree with you OP and facing the same issue

It's rude. People are flakier than they used to me. In my view, you commit reasonably soon, and then you stick to your commitment unless there is a genuine reason like illness.

You are going to need to chase.

Also expect people to suddenly say "yes" two nights before even if you have them the date two months before.

In our case we had two good reasons why people said "yes" late the others were just due to flakiness.

@Goneblank38 the same happened with my dd birthday she was turning 7 gave out 10 invites to her class only 3 replied. I was so annoyed as it only takes a few minutes to text no can't make it. I don't need a reason. She has been invited to a few parties from school I always reply.

I told my dd only 3 replied she said they might all turn up and surprise me (they didn't) 😔 I had one of the parents numbers so text to check he got the invite no reply which is so fucking rude. I was so upset for my dd as it was her first big party. She had a great time. But I don't understand some people it's very rude!!!

It's just rudeness OP

My daughter got an invite to a party maybe a month ago? For a party in a couple of weeks. Handed out by the teacher and I'd never heard mention of this kid before (and when I asked my daughter about him she didn't know who he was!) so wanted to hold off replying incase she suddenly became BFFs with him and was desperate to go (kids!!) 🤣 so due to that I only replied the other day even though we got the invite at the end of september.
Also there can be logistics to sort - my cousin has three and usually the parties all fall on a Saturday so then they've got to make sure mum can take them to one place, dad can take them to another and grandma can pick the eldest up for instance, so it's not always as easy as replying instantly with a "yes" or "no".
That said, It's odd when you've put a "RSVP by..." though. Super rude imho.

I think half the parents are so bloody rude and half can’t get their admin shit together- morons.
I can’t bear it. You get an invite, check and decide and msg.

I have three children and I dont think they have ever been invited to different parties on the same day. Certainly not with the invitations arriving simultaneously.

Agree - massive bug bear of mine.

Not RSVPing doesn’t mean you picked a bad date. They haven’t said that they can’t come.

Dont you have a class WhatsApp group? You must have phone numbers for some of the parents, surely?

Of course it’s rude not to respond. I know everyone is busy but a one line response takes a moment, there’s no need to completely ignore the person organising the event. And if a person is unsure if they are able to attend they say so in that one line response.

OP I would chase up individually. It’s a hassle but at least you will know who is definitely coming.

I found most people replied in the week before and most people said the same to me, I think people wait to see if they have other plans coming up before committing. It does make it stressful though

Yes it’s rude. I think a lot of people wait to reply in case something else comes up. Which is also rude.

YANBU at all. 30 invited, 11 replies. I have reminded via WhatsApp already but am tempted to do an actual list of who has replied one week before and say the party numbers are being confirmed on x date and no more spaces will be available. It’s a pay per person thing 🤦🏻‍♀️

My dc are teens now but we did big parties in when in reception. Had the same problem. I had to chase. On one party on the day three people didnt turn up and no text sent and the other party two did text to say they were not coming because they had a better offer!

For my DS party I ended up individually messaging each parent (getting their numbers off the class what’s app group or asking other parents for numbers!) for a RSVP. I was so cross, they all could make it bar one yet only a handful of replies. These parties are not cheap tho and it’s so unfair!!!

saying that my DS pulled out an invite he was given over a week ago (before half term!) and said ‘joe Bloggs’ gave me this … I replied with apologies immediately! X

I had similar to you in reception, had spent a fortune hiring a hall etc. I was working full time and used wraparound care so didn't know any of the other parents. I got almost no responses and was worried I'd have an upset little girl on the day. I think some just thought they don't know me and weren't bothered. I did get three texts on the day saying x will be coming today, maybe keeping their options open and not having anything else to do that day. I think a couple of the mums came maybe after realising that no one else was. They were very nice and have been nice all the way through. It wasn't empty as I had my own friends and their kids from outside of school. Things changed when I went part time and was known to parents.

If you are able to chase then I would.

I didn't respond to one party, my head was all over the place during that time. I was a sandwich carer, working full time, my own health issues and just exhausted. I remember thinking I need to send this once I've got a minute many times and not doing it and afterward feeling really bad for a long time. Im sure those parents think me rude. It's only ever happened once as im usually very conscious about these things.