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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my baby has autism?

87 replies

CanStopWillStop · 27/10/2022 22:09

I've asked DH and DM but they've shut me down pretty quickly, need a second (third,fourth etc) opinion.

DD (11mths) has been reaching milestones as far as I knew, early crawler, early walker, sitting up etc.

However I got my 1 year check survey and was surprised by a few of the questions, namely: does your child respond to your voice/when you call their name.

DD hardly does either. She also doesn't make great eye contact like other babies. I go to play groups, so I see how other babies look me in eye, DD doesn't really do that often. DH and DM don't see other babies, so they don't really get what i mean.

I'm going to the doctors check up next week but I've been doing research an apparently 'answering to name' should be an early milestone (6-8months) and now I'm worried I missed the red flags and feeling pretty shit about it tbh as I know early intervention helps with autism.

Anyones LOs similar to mine? AIBU to think it's probably autism?

OP posts:
Merlott · 27/10/2022 22:12

Hearing test

Original poster
CanStopWillStop · 27/10/2022 22:13

Sorry I should add, DD failed her hearing test right after birth. So we went for a follow up a week later, and they said she can hear fine. She can also hear the faintest of noises, front door going, fridge opening etc but I say DD and... nothing

OP posts:
vodkaredbullgirl · 27/10/2022 22:13

Another for hearing test.

gogohmm · 27/10/2022 22:16

Both my DD's were like your dd, one is autistic, one is not (not even close if you know what I mean) kids develop at different speeds, different orders so try not to worry

Mummummummumyyyyy · 27/10/2022 22:16

I can imagine this must be a stressful time for you, I would share your concerns with your HV or GP and see what they suggest. I could tell with both of my nephews from being 6 months or so. They were just ‘different’. Things like avoiding eye contact, no ‘to and fro’ babbling/laughing/mirroring etc.

Pinkflipflop85 · 27/10/2022 22:16

Hearing test.

Just because she can hear certain sounds, it doesn't mean she can hear all of them. Or distinguish differences between them.

Itisbetter · 27/10/2022 22:20

Hearing an fluctuate too. Can she copy?

PonyPatter44 · 27/10/2022 22:22

You can't generally tell much when they're babies. My DD had excellent eye contact, talked early, walked late, hit all her other milestones early... and was STILL diagnosed with autism. My friends son was basically written off as a toddler, hit all his milestones very very late and she was told he could basically never live unsupported. He finished his Masters recently. He is fantastic.

TheodoreMortlock · 27/10/2022 22:24

I think you're justified in wanting to keep an eye on it, but it is miles too early to know. There are lots of things about my DC which seem obvious in retrospect, but could easily have been just quirks or which she might have grown out of. It could be an early indicator of ASD but it could also be a hearing problem, or it could be auditory processing, or it could be that she is so busy with physical milestones as an early crawler / walker that the others will come later.

At 11 months my child only responded intermittently to her name - looked away from us when picked up - flapped her hands by her eyes a lot - jumped but wouldn't walk - would curl up into a ball at baby groups - didn't babble at all. In hindsight all of these were indicative of her autism but there were other babies with one or some of the same who then developed entirely typically.

My DD was seen early (2.5 years old) and then had early intervention during the assessment process. She wasn't diagnosed until 4.

therubbiliser · 27/10/2022 22:25

You are right to have concerns but like others I’m thinking heading at this age.

therubbiliser · 27/10/2022 22:25

Hearing

BryceQuinlanTheFirst · 27/10/2022 22:26

You might look back on this time and be right that these were early signs, I have that with my son. But support won't be available for a long time yet. We got a diagnosis at just over two and this is very young compared to other little ones I know.

Do the hearing test.

But then all you can do is be there for your baby and if they do have additional needs/challenges, read up on autism, join fb groups - educate yourself but try not to worry it's too soon.

willstarttomorrow · 27/10/2022 22:27

OP- contact your health visitor. I know they get a bad rep on mumsnet but I am a child protection social worker and the majority I know are incredibly supportive, understanding and really helpful. The service has been cut to the bone so unless there is a flag on the system to indicate a need for extra support, the service is very limited. The majority of health visitors and school nurses I work with are more than happy to offer support outside the now (very limited) national health programme.

Original poster
CanStopWillStop · 27/10/2022 22:28

Thanks for the advice, I think I didn't even consider hearing as the issue as we had the all clear from the ear hospital, however as PP mentioned hearing can fluctuate so looks like another hearing test is in order.

OP posts:
89redballoons · 27/10/2022 22:36

I agree with hearing.

Also, though, remember that your baby is not necessarily supposed to be doing everything on that questionnaire. There's a wide range of what different babies can do at around 12 months, so the HV will give your baby a score based on your responses to the questionnaire and if it's over a certain number your baby will be in the "no concerns" zone. They don't have to score full marks to be in that zone. I say this because the questionnaire for my DS1's one year check really freaked me out but actually the HV said his results were normal.

NellyBarney · 27/10/2022 22:36

Autism isn't necessarily a bad thing. I don't think early intervention 'cures' the autism, or reduces it, it's more about educating the parent to understand the way people on the spectrum tick so that bonding and parenting becomes easier and more joyful, and as a result, any autistic dc will flourish even more. Many of the most successful people are autistic. A consultant at hospital asked us whether our dc had any special medical conditions, and when we said she has ASD, he just smiled and said: I myself and most of us doctors here are on the spectrum!

WHEREEL · 27/10/2022 22:37

They may have ADHD if they have incredibly sensitive hearing but struggle to hear.

Id be incredibly cautious about pursuing ‘interventions’ for autism if there aren’t any real issues. Behaving differently to the majority doesn’t mean that behaviour is wrong.

Original poster
CanStopWillStop · 27/10/2022 22:47

Thanks, DD's cousin has autism so I am very familiar (or at least thought i was) with ASD. By early intervention, I just meant giving extra attention/awareness to areas where she might struggle (wasn't meaning for it to sound derogatory, apologies if it did) I'm just being made to feel like I'm making a fuss by DH and DM, I know 1year is early but DD's cousin was diagnosed recently (now 12yo) and I believe so many issues he had at school could have been avoided if he had been assessed sooner.

OP posts:
hiredandsqueak · 27/10/2022 22:53

My dd was referred for a multidisciplinary assessment for autism at twelve months. My concerns that made me "know" she had autism (I had a son diagnosed at two and a half already) was that she was very silent and very still. So I could sit her in a spot without toys and she wouldn't move (I once watched her sit for three hours through a strategically placed mirror) even though she could crawl. She didn't cry for my attention or try and make her needs known so she wouldn't reach for a cup if I was drinking and she was thirsty. she wouldn't reach for a biscuit even if she wanted one when I put it in her hand. Plus she didn't distinguish between me and anybody else so if my friend had her for an hour she would be completely comfortable and wouldn't acknowledge my return. I never had concerns over eye contact tbh which was good as a baby, not always so good as she got older. I too would be asking for a repeat hearing test and try not to worry.

U2HasTheEdge · 27/10/2022 22:59

It's so hard to know at this age, but I knew with my son that there were big differences between him and other babies.

My Grandson is 1 and he doesn't respond that well to his name, avoids very close eye contact, and can spend a long time just throwing one toy on the floor and has no interest in playing with any other toys. He also rotates his wrists a lot, flaps his hands and was diagnosed with stereotypies. We were told he is way too young to tell one way or another.

They all develop differently, but I would definitely get their hearing checked again.

Original poster
CanStopWillStop · 27/10/2022 23:05

@U2HasTheEdge DD also used to rotate her wrists, but stopped a few months ago. It's like I'm doing a backwards jigsaw trying to piece things together now, but I remember her doing it and thinking it was super cute (didn't know at the time it was a possible stim)

Thanks so much @hiredandsqueak do you mind if I ask what happens at the multidisciplinary assessment? Is it like a series of tests or more based on what parents have observed? I worry that I haven't been keeping a log of things, so not sure if there's other signs I missed.

OP posts:
hiredandsqueak · 27/10/2022 23:12

Well first of all dd had a chromosome and metabolic disorders screen to rule out other things. They were questioning Retts Syndrome. Then the paediatrician referred her for sight and hearing checks to SALT, OT, phtsiotherapy and child psychology. She spent six weeks at the nursery at the Child development clinic as well so she could be seen by the special needs health visitor, early years teaching service and anybody else who wanted to observe her interactions. Then there was a meeting where all findings were discussed and she got her diagnosis the week of her second birthday.

LabiaMinoraPissusFlapus · 27/10/2022 23:15

Just to add, there is nothing wrong with autism. Love your child for who they are. I have an autistic son and husband, with lots of ND in the family. I wouldn't mind either way what my children are like and where they sit on the ND scale. I don't like hearing people speak with dread about their child possibly being ND. It's all part of normal anyway.

Original poster
CanStopWillStop · 27/10/2022 23:17

hiredandsqueak · 27/10/2022 23:12

Well first of all dd had a chromosome and metabolic disorders screen to rule out other things. They were questioning Retts Syndrome. Then the paediatrician referred her for sight and hearing checks to SALT, OT, phtsiotherapy and child psychology. She spent six weeks at the nursery at the Child development clinic as well so she could be seen by the special needs health visitor, early years teaching service and anybody else who wanted to observe her interactions. Then there was a meeting where all findings were discussed and she got her diagnosis the week of her second birthday.

Thank you so much, this is super helpful to know!

OP posts:
Blocked · 27/10/2022 23:19

My DD went through a phase of ignoring her name around the time she turned one. She'd had a couple of ear infections in a row so I presume it was a temporary hearing problem. Possibly coupled with an unwillingness to listen at times!