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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I basically just dropped my nappy in front of everyone

57 replies

Fikaa · 27/10/2022 14:25

I am mortified and just want to go home and hide under my duvet! Logically I know I shouldn't be but....I am. I suffer from really heavy periods due to the luck of having both PCOS and Endo. As a result I wear what are essentially nappies.

The long hotdesk I was sat at and the desk behind were chatting (lunch time) and I needed to change. The pads don't have wrappers so I keep them in a neon makeup bag. Not sure why but I was really self conscious about taking the makeup bag out so decided to transfer the pad to my sleeve. I was trying to be discreet but I fricking fumbled the damn pad which just took off like a fucking paper airplane and landed 2 cm from my neighbours foot. I was horrified and just grabbed it and apologised like a freak. 5+ people must have seen.

I know this may be age related but I'm genuinely upset and just want to change jobs. I'm really concerned some may assume I'm incontinent :'(

OP posts:
Original poster
Fikaa · 27/10/2022 14:27

This is why I wfh

OP posts:
theemmadilemma · 27/10/2022 14:32

My head would go to flooding rather than incontinence for a start.

Secondly, other than feeling terrible for you probably feeling embarassed for soemthing you shouldn't feel embarassed about, I wouldn't be thinking much.

melj1213 · 27/10/2022 14:37

YABU - periods are normal and sanitary products are not something that needs to be hidden up a sleeve, and nobody probably noticed or cared until you made a big performance of leaving/trying to hide your pad/apologising etc.

Having said that, if you're so self conscious then why have your pads in a neon make up bag which is, quite literally, eye catching by nature? I have no issues just throwing a pad/tampon into my pocket (I work in retail so can't have my bag on my person and I like to have a pad/tampon on me in case I can't get to my locker for some reason) but I also have a make up bag that I keep in my handbag with a couple of tampons, pads, paracetamol and wet wipes as well as deodorant, a brush, a bit of make up and hand cream - it's entirely normal to see women taking their make up bag into the loo to touch up make up/redo their hair etc so I doubt anyone would immediately think "OMG they MUST be on their period as they're taking a bag to the loo!"

FlibbertyGiblets · 27/10/2022 14:46

A period is not incontinence, come on now. Calling your sanitary pad a nappy is veering into oddness.

Just get a different colour bag if your 'neon' bag makes you self-conscious Confused

OoooSweetChildOMine · 27/10/2022 14:48

You need period pants op!

Loics · 27/10/2022 14:50

Do you mean you wear an actual adult nappy, or just a pad that is bigger than usual? A large pad wouldn't make me think of incontinence, and even if it was an incontinence nappy, it shouldn't be a problem for adults. It'll be forgotten about quite quickly.

FannyFifer · 27/10/2022 14:52

You don't wear nappies, you wear sanitary pads as needed for your pcos. Honestly no one would care but you.

butterfliedtwo · 27/10/2022 14:54

You're not wearing a nappy though. Periods are normal.

ChocChipOwl · 27/10/2022 14:54

A nappy wouldn't fit up your sleeve ... you dropped a pad. A simple 'ha oops!' suffices. Honestly nobody cares

Original poster
Fikaa · 27/10/2022 14:54

I work for a mobile operator in an engineering function (first role post grad scheme). And i am often the only female on the one side of the floor I work on so do feel self conscious just anyway. But it is also a personality trait.

I just didn't think things through enough. I have a mini leather purse type thing also which I keep my lipstick and powder in - not big enough to put more than 1sp though. Used the pad in the purse whe I first got to the office and was left "high and dry" after.

The make up I have is the Caroline Hirons' kit bag for reference.

OP posts:
Yoyooo · 27/10/2022 14:54

Surely people would assume if you were taking a make up bag into a loo you were just topping up your make up or putting on some deodorant or something. Even if they though you were changing your pad who cares?

StillCalendula · 27/10/2022 14:55

Complete over-reaction on your part.

And why would it be such a crisis if people were to think you are incontinent?

Would it affect your ablity to do your job?

Original poster
Fikaa · 27/10/2022 14:56

It's a sanitary pad not an incontinence one.

OP posts:
x2boys · 27/10/2022 14:57

Do you mean an actusl incontinence pad ?
Which admittedly are large or just a larger than normal sanitary towel?

Odile13 · 27/10/2022 14:57

It’s nothing to be ashamed of OP. If anybody thought anything bad about it then that’s their problem, not yours. I honestly doubt anybody would have noticed / cared about what you were doing.

Original poster
Fikaa · 27/10/2022 14:58

It was noticed as the person the pad fell near politely said "its okay"

OP posts:
Forestdweller11 · 27/10/2022 14:59

Can I say that your embarrassment would have been greater if it was a used one so you and your colleagues can be thankful on that score.

NiceTwin · 27/10/2022 15:00

You put a sanitary towel up the arm of your sleeve?!
Or have I misread?

RoseslnTheHospital · 27/10/2022 15:00

I totally understand that you felt embarrassed and self conscious, and I very much dislike the criticism and shaming for women who do feel embarrassed or self conscious about things relating to periods. Some people are very private and I wouldn't want any of my work colleagues to know when I was on my period or the finer details of what that involves. Great if other people don't mind and are happy to discuss it and share that with their work colleagues, but it isn't compulsory or "better" than people who prefer privacy.

Dartmoorcheffy · 27/10/2022 15:00

Just take your handbag to the loo with you.

Pegasushaswings · 27/10/2022 15:01

I don’t know why people can’t empathise with you, it’s embarrassing but only if you let it be really. Style it out, act like it never happened and take the whole bag in next time. But I get it, especially working in a male dominated office!

butterfliedtwo · 27/10/2022 15:05

I can sympathise to a degree but OP is catastrophising about how colleagues think and mentioned wanting to change jobs. To even think that in this scenario is mad. Perspective is needed.

Mariposista · 27/10/2022 15:05

If that had landed next to me I would have pretended not to see it and I certainly wouldn't judge. Periods are normal and sanitary products are not something disgusting.
Your periods sound horrendous though. You poor thing, it must be a nightmare. Is there nothing a gynaecologist can do?

TeaAndJaffacakes · 27/10/2022 15:05

Any men who saw will probably have recognized it’s a sanitary pad but will have no frame of reference as to size.
Any women who saw will be thinking ´oh that’s the brand I buy’ or maybe ´hmmm maybe my periods are actually quite light?´ or ´shit I need to empty my mooncup’.

OP no one else will have given this more than 10 seconds thought. It’s a bit embarrassing but it’s not going to follow you around all week or even all afternoon.

HollyPupp · 27/10/2022 15:07

They may think your incontinent or they may not.
But they more then likely don’t give a shit.