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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed at Prince Harry's memoir title SPARE

595 replies

benisright · 27/10/2022 13:25

I have zero interest in this couple who seem to enjoy making a living on moaning about how they are poorly treated in Britain. Just saw the headline news and the cover of Harry's memoir with his face and one single word SPARE.

Get a life for goodness sake. I'm about his age and never once thought of him as a spare. He kinda invented his own tale.

OP posts:
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Spicypumpkins · 28/10/2022 00:01

If you have zero interest then why start a thread about it or be so annoyed? How does anyone know what he has been through or how he feels?

i think it’s funny they have called it spare because I think they’ve been inspired by the terrible but addictive tv show ‘The Royals’ that was on Netflix, where they’re always banging on about the Heir and the Spare.

They should have released it before xmas as it would have made a great stocking filler. I can’t wait to read it and see all the juicy gossip splattered over a certain newspaper that seems to have it in for them 🙄

I can’t actually believe how much some media outlets hate Harry and Meg. Its become
someones job to write trash about them every day….it’s so weird. It’s also like the whole GMB Piers thing….I could never understand why he became so utterly obsessed with MM. Just so so strange.

Diverseopinions · 28/10/2022 05:37

I think Harry might come to regret that title because it suggests that the publishers might be positioning the book as both a sympathetic treatment of his point of view, but also a study of somebody who is bitter at being second best, who is not quite the star they want to be.

The title is accurate: that's what royals and big landowners did - gave a 'spare' to inherit, but it also conjures undertones of the understudy. It had that sad connotation of: 'also run'; ' always the bridesmaid'; second best. If the book was titled

'on the bench' (as in footballing parlance) , it wouldn't have a very positive vibe about the subject's capabilities, and I wonder if this is a sort of undertone that the publishers are allowing. Perhaps the book is going to be subjective in what it reveals, but there is going to be an objective slant of 'this is what a bitter person who is in the shadow comes across as.'

Harry wrote earlier that this wouldn't be the book of the man whom he was born, but one of the man he has become. It looks like the publishers have junked that idea and put across that he isn't interesting enough as the man he has become: the public want the juicy royal details.

I hope that Harry doesn't come to regret this enterprise and feel that it dogs him with the impression that he is a jealous also ran, who had it all and somehow wanted the bigger role. That story that he wants to make a mark and fears his nephew will take his place at the age of 18, might not be true, but fits the whole idea of wanting to be an important Royal. He has got to escape that mantle, for his own peace of mind.

It's a shame, because, for many years, he was known for his personality and sense of fun and what seemed like his warmth. He was very popular and had something unique about him. I don't think he needed to be in anybody's shadow, as a person. The Invictus Games seemed like a spontaneous, really warm and human initiative, and the way he pushed it forward seemed heartfelt and genuine. I think he was using his royal profile to do a few really worthwhile things, which he could do well. That was enough: raising the profile of injured military veterans. He knew how to focus on certain needed projects.- a bit like the Prince of Wales's trust, or the Duke of Edinburgh awards. On occasions, I bet a young William had been envious of his brother's popular personality.

It is a shame that he has chosen to bite the hand that fed him, a hand that was always ready to praise and pat on the head, when he wasn't behaving very dutifully. I'm sure references to 'the spare' were said ironically in upper class circles. You'd have to have no sense of irony to see it otherwise. But, it's really time for him to be his own person and escape the royal trappings and to stop being manipulated by publishers and publicists who are only interested in what juicy titbits he can tell about being a royal from an inside view.

ObiTwo · 28/10/2022 06:22

I’m looking forward to reading it. I don’t get all the H&M hate - he felt his wife was being treated unfairly so he defended her and they chose to leave. What’s so wrong about that?

And he HAS been treated like a spare for the majority of his life.

LBFseBrom · 28/10/2022 06:27

Nothing to be annoyed about. Others have referred to him as the 'spare', also that the late Princess of Wales did well to produce an heir and a spare. Harry has just reclaimed the title. He never minded being the spare, didn't want to be king.

Alighttouchonthetiller · 28/10/2022 06:53

Get some perspective and seek to be fair.

Loving this from the individual who has spent literally hours on this thread, cheerleading like mad and being completely biased.

Oh, @Owlcation, I do enjoy you. 😁

sashh · 28/10/2022 07:01

He's always been 'the spare'. What a thing to get worked up about.

Tabbouleh · 28/10/2022 07:03

Brilliant and punchy title, though I won't be reading it. Reminds me of Andre Agassi's Open, but better.

ArtisanFrog · 28/10/2022 07:38

A number of posters make the point that being wealthy and born into privilege does not mean you don't experience horrendous trauma as a child.

I agree with this. The difficulty I have is that Harry, being born into such immense privilege has a global platform. Solely due to who he is and who his family is.

The vast majority don't have such platform - unless they create it themselves through hard work and determination.

It seems to me that by using his platform to continuously express victimhood and self pity - it is an extension, manipulation and monetisation of his vast white privilege.

Your every day tom, dick and harry can't do this - they don't have a global audience to listen to tales of childhood woe. They can't sell their tragedy to Netflix or Penguin Books and monetise it. They have no choice but to get on with it.

BruhWhy · 28/10/2022 07:48

I laughed out loud when I heard it. Good for him.

I won't be reading it but I'm looking forward to hearing snippets and the ensuing outrage.

ArtisanFrog · 28/10/2022 08:19

I think the public have turned on the Sussexes because they have broken the unspoken contract between the Royal Family and the British Public.

The public largely accepts that the Royal Family have vast wealth and privilege. The payback is that they should only use their status and platform for public service, not personal gain

Putting Andrew aside, who everyone agrees is a massive prick and doesn't merit discussion, pretty much all of the other current senior Royals largely stick to this bargain. They don't use their platform for personal gain or to navel gaze.

EsmaCannonball · 28/10/2022 08:43

Harry's entire problem is that he's embittered himself by constantly comparing his life to William's, when the key to happiness, or at least graciousness, would have been to compare his immense luck with the lives of everyday people or the truly unfortunate ones he encountered regularly through royal visits. He's definitely a glass half-empty kind of person, which is a really bad look on someone whose glass is half-full of Bollinger.

ArtisanFrog · 28/10/2022 08:52

Also a massive lack of self awareness. The comment on Oprah that his father had cut him off financially, said with incredulity

He was in his thirties, he had vast inherited wealth

How can he not see how crass and inappropriate it is to say something like that.

ajandjjmum · 28/10/2022 09:05

honeybeetheoneandonly · 27/10/2022 20:30

Well, Ann was never in line of the throne with some male heirs around, so Andrew was the spare. Yep, totally normal person. No issues there....

Anne was the 'spare' until Andrew was born, some years after her.

Rubyupbeat · 28/10/2022 09:27

Throughout time there has been an heir and a spare. It wouldn't have been handed out to him. Andrew would have been the spare and the queens father too.
I suppose a term of endearment. The spare always had a better life, wealth, partying etc... with no huge obligations expected ov them.

Diverseopinions · 28/10/2022 09:33

EsmaCannonball

That's perfect!

Glass half empty full of Bollinger

Owlcation · 28/10/2022 09:43

Alighttouchonthetiller · 28/10/2022 06:53

Get some perspective and seek to be fair.

Loving this from the individual who has spent literally hours on this thread, cheerleading like mad and being completely biased.

Oh, @Owlcation, I do enjoy you. 😁

“Cheerleading like mad”?! Care to provide evidence?!

I’m not actually a fan of Harry; I’m indifferent to Harry. But I am a fan of fairness. I think it’s fair to hear his side of the story. What’s unfair about that?!

You just don’t like the fact I pointed out that your comparison of Harry losing his mum as a child is actually not comparable to the “great number of other people who lose their parents as a child”. It was fair to point out that he had different pressure to most people.

The title “Spare” is fair given the tradition of “Heir and a Spare”. He was the spare, so the title works.

Indeed, I do enjoy you very much too 😉

Gilmorehill · 28/10/2022 09:44

ArtisanFrog · 28/10/2022 08:52

Also a massive lack of self awareness. The comment on Oprah that his father had cut him off financially, said with incredulity

He was in his thirties, he had vast inherited wealth

How can he not see how crass and inappropriate it is to say something like that.

I couldn’t understand how a self made woman like OW, who was born into a very poor family, could listen to that and not challenge it.

Wheresthebeach · 28/10/2022 09:48

Increasingly it seems that he's simply angry that he was born second, and wanted to be treated the same as William. Both Harry and Meighan seem to have bridled at being second fiddle when it came to protocol. They expected the rules to be bent for them, and are continuing a public temper tantrum that the rules weren't changed.

Considering the massive wealth and privilege he has, this is not a good look. They will make their millions, but for the first time I feel a bit of pity for him. Someone given so much, yet lives in a bitter world where all his privilege isn't enough. What a fucking waste.

ObiTwo · 28/10/2022 10:14

Gilmorehill · 28/10/2022 09:44

I couldn’t understand how a self made woman like OW, who was born into a very poor family, could listen to that and not challenge it.

Because she was being paid very well to keep them on side

Croque · 28/10/2022 10:18

OW/Tyler Perry/Others are also behind inflated podcast audience numbers. Most people who work in the media know about it.

Readinginthesun · 28/10/2022 10:19

Wheresthebeach · 28/10/2022 09:48

Increasingly it seems that he's simply angry that he was born second, and wanted to be treated the same as William. Both Harry and Meighan seem to have bridled at being second fiddle when it came to protocol. They expected the rules to be bent for them, and are continuing a public temper tantrum that the rules weren't changed.

Considering the massive wealth and privilege he has, this is not a good look. They will make their millions, but for the first time I feel a bit of pity for him. Someone given so much, yet lives in a bitter world where all his privilege isn't enough. What a fucking waste.

Completely agree.
How many of us play second fiddle to the Golden Child ( I did) but you just have to make the best of things and Harry had a wonderful life and much more freedom than William.

ObiTwo · 28/10/2022 10:27

How do you know he had a wonderful life? The public have only seen snapshots of his life, similar to what we see from Facebook contacts. His “real” life might have been a different story entirely.

nootsy · 28/10/2022 10:32

I have zero interest in this couple

yet you started the thread...

Get a life for goodness sake

😆😆

MeltingWinterSnow · 28/10/2022 11:01

Croque · 28/10/2022 10:18

OW/Tyler Perry/Others are also behind inflated podcast audience numbers. Most people who work in the media know about it.

That is interesting, how does that work?

oakleaffy · 28/10/2022 12:07

MeltingWinterSnow · 28/10/2022 11:01

That is interesting, how does that work?

The Podcast from what I hear is basically Harry’s wife talking about herself- Always bringing the topic round to her favourite topic.
Herself.
Louis Theroux is perhaps the best interviewer in my opinion, as he asks the sort of questions the public want to know the answers to, and he is absolutely in the background.
But Theroux is skilled and talented- and disarmingly modest.
One gets the feeling Theroux cares-
With Harry’s wife it’s all about the window dressing.
Oprah couldn’t have been more passive if she tried when interviewing the Harkles.
Zero probing questions asked.