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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should I miss a meeting to go to a job interview or reschedule interview on short notice?

44 replies

fairaisle · 26/10/2022 13:44

I'm currently looking for a new job. My current workplace has a horrible culture and I'm hugely burnt out. I've worked 60+ hours a week for years, I work almost every weekend, colleagues are rude etc.

I had a firm reach out to me and suggest a chat over lunch with one of their senior members to discuss potential opportunities. We scheduled this for 1pm tomorrow. I marked it as out of office (just labelled 'appointment') in my calendar and thought nothing more of it as it's my lunch hour anyway (I don't have a specific hour but think 1pm is fair!). It's been in the calendar for over a week and it's a company I'd love to work for. It's not a formal interview but obviously they'll be trying to get a sense of whether they like me.

However, a meeting for my current job has just gone in the calendar for the same time. I'm not critical for the meeting but I have been told I should make every effort to attend. Nobody checked my availability and I have just been expected to make the time work.

I'm worried that cancelling the lunch at short notice will leave a bad impression. If it had been a few days ago, I wouldn't be so worried, but it's less than 24h notice now.

I don't want to burn bridges at my current job but I'm obviously less committed than I would be if I intended to stay. However, I do realise I'm still employed there and so maybe owe it to them to attend meetings!

Really not sure what to do so any advice is welcome.

YABU - reschedule lunch interview, go to meeting
YANBU - go to lunch interview, apologise for missing meeting but hold firm that the appointment cannot be rescheduled

OP posts:

Feelinglow27 · 26/10/2022 13:48

You are allowed to schedule other important life things in your lunch hour. I would just say you cannot make a you have a personal pre-scheduled appointment, sorry, and don't elaborate.

Good luck, I hope you get the hell out of there!

Feelinglow27 · 26/10/2022 13:48

*Make it

Slimjimtobe · 26/10/2022 13:50

Go for the interview
this meeting is very short notice and you had it marked on your calendar

quietlycontent · 26/10/2022 13:51

Go to the lunch, just say you have something that can't be moved. If pushed say its a private appointment in your lunch hour that you will be finiancially worse of it you don't go (this may be true in the long run)

They 'owe' you the chance to look elsewhere if they are treating you badly. I moved this year from a really high pressured workplace and pinch myself everyday at how much better my entire life is for moving

Good luck with the chat, have some questions about the plans for the company and projects they are working on if you can

HScully · 26/10/2022 13:51

It's doctors appointment, you took in your lunch hour as to not inconvenience the company

adilemna123 · 26/10/2022 13:52

100% go to the interview, booking an appointment for your lunch break is a reasonable thing to do

Shortpoet · 26/10/2022 13:52

Go to the lunch. If it’s an online meeting they can record it and you’ll catch up later.

Radiatorvalves · 26/10/2022 13:53

I’d just apologise and decline saying you have a pre-existing appointment which conflicts. If they ask what, just say it’s personal.

LovelyDaaling · 26/10/2022 13:54

Go for the interview. It's all the same if it was a hospital appointment or dentist and you needed treatment. Put yourself first.

goldfinchonthelawn · 26/10/2022 14:01

Go to the interview.

Send your apologies ot the meeting by email. If anyone follows up on this, say you had an appointment scheduled that couldn't be changed at short notice. If they ask what, say, it's personal - that's why I scheduled it in my lunch hour. If they question that, say, I regularly work 60 hour weeks despite a 40hpw contract; I am perfectly entitled to schedule private appointments in my lunch hour.

bumpertobumper · 26/10/2022 14:04

If missing a short notice meeting for which you are 'not essential' would mean you 'burn your bridges' then current workplace is totally toxic and even more reason to go to the interview!!
Good luck!

DarkAndDusty · 26/10/2022 14:11

I wouldn't hesitate attending the interview. It would be silly to miss the opportunity just so you can attend a non essential meeting in a workplace you're planning to leave...

LovelyBitOfSquirrel69 · 26/10/2022 14:14

What everyone else already said.

grapestar · 26/10/2022 14:17

Absolute no brainer. Don't know why you even have to ask.

Original poster

fairaisle · 26/10/2022 14:21

Thanks all, I'll definitely be attending the interview.

I've let the team know I can't make the meeting due to an already scheduled appointment but I am happy to catch up later in the afternoon, in case I miss anything important.

OP posts:

ClearButtons · 26/10/2022 14:25

Yeah definitely go for the interview. You will not regret missing another standard work meeting but could potentially regret missing out on a good opportunity ☺️

ParentallyUnprepared · 26/10/2022 14:30

Interview for sure.

Don't give it a second thought.

Good luck!

LovelyDaaling · 26/10/2022 17:45

Good luck tomorrow, Fairaisle

Fajeeta · 26/10/2022 17:46

Good luck!

Original poster

fairaisle · 26/10/2022 20:03

Thank you all!

OP posts:

Greengr · 26/10/2022 22:18

Good luck!!!

notdaddycool · 26/10/2022 22:32

I came back from one such meeting, whole office working silently my boss asked where I’d been in front of everyone. I just said out, someone’s regret not saying an interview! You’re very entitled to do what you like in your lunch break.

bumpertobumper · 27/10/2022 14:22

How did the interview/chat go? Very well I hope...

Original poster

fairaisle · 27/10/2022 18:03

Thank you all for the good wishes.

I thought it went ok, could have gone better but I'm a bit of an introvert, crap at networking and hate these kind of small talk conversations! The woman I met reiterated that it was just a chat rather than any kind of interview, although of course they're still judging you...

My one main regret is how I phrased some of my questions. She seemed to be expecting me to lead the conversation and thought I had requested the lunch which took me a bit by surprise - it was their HR manager who set it up, although of course I had questions I wanted to ask. I tried to 'set the scene' by saying I largely just wanted to get an overview of the company, team, culture, any opportunities they have and where I might fit in, as well as her own personal experience there. That then turned into her telling me the absolute basics about the firm and explaining the industry from scratch. I didn't want to be rude so listened and nodded along but it was all stuff I had researched in advance and I worry I may have messed up by letting her think I knew nothing.

Anyway, they are hiring for a role that sounds like it would be great and we've scheduled two formal interviews for next week. I'm quite terrified and don't feel anywhere near prepared enough but I think it's time for me to jump in and go for it, regardless of how daunting it might be. Even if I bomb this one, it's good experience.

It sounds like they have a lot of interest for the role so I'm trying not to get my hopes up. We'll see how it goes :)

OP posts:

Atmywitsend29 · 27/10/2022 18:05

I didn't make it past the 1st paragraph OP, YANBU. Good luck at your interview!!

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