Should I miss a meeting to go to a job interview or reschedule interview on short notice?

[fairaisle]

I'm currently looking for a new job. My current workplace has a horrible culture and I'm hugely burnt out. I've worked 60+ hours a week for years, I work almost every weekend, colleagues are rude etc.

I had a firm reach out to me and suggest a chat over lunch with one of their senior members to discuss potential opportunities. We scheduled this for 1pm tomorrow. I marked it as out of office (just labelled 'appointment') in my calendar and thought nothing more of it as it's my lunch hour anyway (I don't have a specific hour but think 1pm is fair!). It's been in the calendar for over a week and it's a company I'd love to work for. It's not a formal interview but obviously they'll be trying to get a sense of whether they like me.

However, a meeting for my current job has just gone in the calendar for the same time. I'm not critical for the meeting but I have been told I should make every effort to attend. Nobody checked my availability and I have just been expected to make the time work.

I'm worried that cancelling the lunch at short notice will leave a bad impression. If it had been a few days ago, I wouldn't be so worried, but it's less than 24h notice now.

I don't want to burn bridges at my current job but I'm obviously less committed than I would be if I intended to stay. However, I do realise I'm still employed there and so maybe owe it to them to attend meetings!

Really not sure what to do so any advice is welcome.

YABU - reschedule lunch interview, go to meeting
YANBU - go to lunch interview, apologise for missing meeting but hold firm that the appointment cannot be rescheduled

Oh and regarding the missed meeting, I got a lot of pushback from my current team. Apparently it was important the whole team attended and they did ask me a few times if I could reschedule. I said it was too late to move my appointment and when I spoke to a colleague I'm friendly with afterwards, was told I missed absolutely nothing, of course!

Cross post cause I type too slow while cooking!!

Glad it went alright OP! Wishing you all the best for the next step.

Do send a follow-up note to thank her for her time. If you like, say something like 'it From my research into <company> I was expecting strong alignment with <values/area of interest> and it was great to get your personal perspective on yadda yadda and the specific context of <function you'd work in>

Definitely a good shout @Whataretheodds , I've sent a follow up email. Kept it brief but included some wording similar to what you suggested, hopefully it shows that I was paying attention and I am interested in working there!

Very best of luck for the formal interviews. Keep us posted!

Don't change your plans. Say you can't attend the meeting due to the private appointment that's been in your calendar for some time. Leave it at that. Don't try to over explain or justify it. Less is more. It could be a medical appointment or anything.

Go to the lunch. You made a personal
Appointment at lunchtime. You were entirely reasonable. Don't elaborate, it could be anything.
Medical
Dental
Legal
Familial
Fertility etc etc

Give apologies to current work with a "I wish you had checked with me, thankfully I'm not a critical participant"

Hi everyone, I had the interviews today and I think they went ok. I did a lot of prep so the vast majority of their questions were things I expected and had practiced answering.

I was really nervous, especially in the first interview, and that definitely came through. Some of my answers lacked structure because of this but I hope the content was there.

The first interviewer seemed to almost give up on interviewing me halfway through and we ended up just having more of a chat. I'm not sure if that means I had done well in the first half and he didn't have anything else to grill me on, or if I was just so bad that he decided to cut the questions short!

I'm hoping that I hear back by the end of week, regardless of whether it's good news or bad news.

Thank you again for all the advice :)

Well done and good luck. Your current company sounds appalling - you definitely need to get out. If not this job then another one.

Glad it went well OP, fingers crossed for you!

Fingers crossed. Seems like if you get the job you will be better off. People who have meetings over lunch periods when they are not really needed (or any meeting longer than absolutely necessary) are those I seek to avoid, and am glad I have very few of these.

Sounds like it went really well OP. When am interview turns into more of a chat it's a very good sign!

I'm glad you didn't attend the meeting OP and you were shortlisted for an interview. Sounds like you did great. Hope you've got it!

Miss the meeting of course

Oups, just seen update

Good job op

Good luck op

Go to the interview of course!!!

They 'owe' you the chance to look elsewhere if they are treating you badly.

I so agree with this. My current motto at work is "It's not my fault you demotivated me".

Everyone who knows me says that my behaviour at work just doesn't sound like me, but at least a couple of times a week I get a slap in the face for what I've done. If an employer creates a crap environment, they can expect a crap job from staff.

Good luck with the interview! I had one today, and one tomorrow too. It feels wonderful to see a way out!