Father blames me for closing his UK bank account

[Nindaelita]

Ok bare with me cause this is really making my anxiety come back and I'm just so stressed since they've arrived I can't even sleep properly. There's more to this than just an accusation that's why my anxiety has come back.

My father and his partner after living in the UK for many years decided to leave last year to go back to their home country and eventually retire there. The problem is my father left an opened bank account in here with some left over money to pay off any debt (I don't know amounts) and was not in contact with the bank at all for a year, (he said he was but I doubt it).

I use to live with them so after they left the house the tenancy contract was put in my name and I still live at the same adress. For a year after they left I've received countless of letters in their names that they didn't bother to ask for, nor cancel them by informing banks, NHS, GPs etc that they were no longer living here. Which I found wrong since their place in the GP could go for another local person for example.

Eventually after a couple of months of opening their letters, I decided to send letters back with "return to sender" since they no longer had any intention of coming back to the UK.
A month ago they announced that things are becoming really bad back home in terms of jobs and rising prices so they want to come back.
They said they would come for around a week this month to check how things were doing over here ( not very good, prices are sky high as well) and apparently they are fixed in coming back again. No problem with me, it's their decision.

Now here's the problem, since they arrived my father went to the bank and found out his account was closed and is now not allowed to open any other with them.
I have no idea about the details, if he owed money, if it went on overdraft and the fees and the inactivity made them close his acount, I have no idea. He doesn't tell me things properly. The bank told him that they've sent letters to my adress prior to closing it and that's where he came to me and pointed his finger.

Bare in mind after he left the country he had online banking (his words) so he could easily contact the bank and keep his acount checked every day.
Now because he was so fixed in not coming back he tro away his UK mobile number, the one that was linked to his bank account, which apparently unabled him to access his online banking again.

I am absolutely stressed cause he now says that I ducked up his credit score along with his name with the bank because I didn't keep his letters and didn't inform him they wanted to close his account! What the actual duck???

Please someone tell me I am not crazy and this whole ordeal is because he didn't take responsibility for his affairs?

100% his fault. You're not responsible for his bank account or his letters.

it is not your responsibility, but for me family is family and it would have been a decent thing to do. You treated the whole situation as if he is not your father but previous tenant - I find it strange.
And it is not illegal to have address of your family as correspondence address. Ideally he should have informed the bank but given you are his daughter the bank would have accepted his forgetfulness to inform them. They received your return to sender letters, tried to contact him via email, failed and here we are. Obviously he is responsible but your actions contributed to the situation he is in.

So he basically left the country without tying up any outstanding affairs, didn't arrange or ask for any letters to be forwarded to him and is now blaming you because his bank closed his account. Is he always such a child? Not your responsibility, nor your fault.

And it is not illegal to have address of your family as correspondence address. Ideally he should have informed the bank but given you are his daughter the bank would have accepted his forgetfulness to inform them.

Not after a few months they wouldn’t have. And yes you can have a correspondence address and a separate residential address linked to your accounts, but again you have to inform them that your residence address is now a correspondence address. You cannot legally have an address listed as your residence when you do not actually live there. There’s a bit of grace period if moving abroad, but once you get past a month or two, that’s taking the piss and you do run afoul of the law.

It’s not ilegal or unlawful , to have your address as yours at all . People’s have mailing addresses different from residence addresses all the time and it far from unlawful , let alone ilegal . No idea where you got that from but you are wrong !
It seems to me you did it out of spite which is fine since you don’t really seem to have good relationship with your father . I don’t quite grasp why you are upset if it affected him or not since you don’t have much of a relationship with him ?

And it is not illegal to have address of your family as correspondence address. Ideally he should have informed the bank but given you are his daughter the bank would have accepted his forgetfulness to inform them

It might not be illegal, but there is a difference between your registered address and a correspondence address. And the person that lives at your correspondence address should know it’s being used like that!

Not too long ago I got a somewhat irate phone call from my father that I needed to update my address with my university. Apparently they have been sending him my alumni newsletter for 25 years. I had absolutely no way of knowing this because he never bothered to tell me. I corrected the problem later that day. He seethed over something ridiculously trivial for 25 years instead of just talking to me for 30 seconds.

i would have at least called my father and told him I was getting letters from the bank and GP before sending them back. He isn’t some random former resident.

It’s not ilegal or unlawful , to have your address as yours at all . People’s have mailing addresses different from residence addresses all the time and it far from unlawful , let alone ilegal

The difference is that the bank knows the correspondence address is just that. In this case, the bank had an address that was listed as a residence address but the person didn’t actually reside there, they actually resided abroad. This is a type of address fraud. It doesn’t matter if it used to be the fathers residence address, the fact it is no longer and had not been for months makes it address fraud.

I am upset because this blaming is... or should I say was... common occurrence when they were here.
Also one of the reasons I was diagnosed with anxiety and panic attacks. This toxic back and forth interactions were very common, mostly from his partner who poisons his mind against me and my brother, while he also treats her like he lives back in 1940.

I was also in therapy because of my overthinking and blaming myself for not being enough, having to live with them constantly throwing stuff to my face. Unfortunately my option was living with them or being homeless with my child.

Since they were gone I was at peace my anxiety had gotten so much better I stopped having gag reflex which is horrible for me, palpitations, etc overall I was on the mend. But now I'm dreading this toxicity coming back at me again, that's why I wrote this post I wanted to confirm if I was really to blame.

I could have just collected all letters and give to them and all would be good, if I kept opening them he would ask me to solve his problems while he would continue saying "we are not there". I could have bended down even more and swallowed my pride again and just do whatever they wanted me to do.

But I didn't. I decided that it was enough.

If you read my replies, he was full aware of what was being sent.

The difference was he did nothing about them.

I don't believe there is any such crime as "address fraud", in the UK. Can you link to anything that says otherwise?

I have tried googling, and found nothing, but obviously if I'm right, there will be nothing to find.

Why makes you think it is a crime not to inform your bank you have moved?

Some banks will close accounts if the holder is not resident in the UK. OP is right, he should have sorted this out before he went abroad rather than letting the op deal with it. This is partly fraud prevention and compliance with various money regulations. Some banks have been more proactive closing accounts of overseas holders than others but anyone living or working abroad needs to make arrangements for their UK account with the bank and keep everything above board, assign a communications address etc. When we were part of the EU there was a bit more latitude whilst living in another EU country.

You are also supposed to inform your GP when you move out of their area. That is part of your contract with your GP.

The OP is not her father's PA. This problem is entirely of his own making and he needs to deal with it.

Even after reading pp responses I still dont think you're to blame. You're not his pa.

Make sure he didn't keep a key to your house and don't let him move back in, no matter how temporary he says it will be.

He sounds horrible.

OP lived with her father otherwise she would have been homeless she says, so despite all toxicity he didn’t mind her living with him. Once he is out of door she treats him as a stranger and sends letters back like she doesn’t know who he is. Well I am sorry to say but this is spiteful and doesn’t really reflect well on you, OP, panic attacks or not.
Even if you had to help him out to sort these things is that such a high price to pay considering he allowed you to live with him and helped you not being homeless?
you clearly don’t want a relationship with him and that is your choice but don’t justify your actions as normal and please stop trying to make it out as if you were trying to prevent some crime with address fraud.

she is not his PA but she is his daughter and by sending letters back she treated him as previous tenant not father. she is not solely to blame but she surely contributed to this mess.
and you suggest it was ok for him to allow her and her DC to live with him not to become homeless but she should make him homeless without hesitation.

^^ I disagree.

He’s obviously some kind of fucking idiot

The OP is quite clear - the only reason she was there was because she was homeless and had a child to consider and then had to deal with the state of the house and the landlord to retain that home. Women put up with a lot of crap to keep a roof over their childrens' heads.

This is a fully grown adult who should have sorted out his own mess - not expected his daughter to manage his accounts for him (which she can't anyway unless recognised by the bank as his nominee). If it was just a couple of months forwarding whilst everything was put in place that is one thing but a year down the line expecting her to manage everything for him is ridiculous.

He should also have informed the bank as he is likely to be in breach with them for holding a UK residential account from abroad without telling them (typically you move to an expat account based in the channel islands to avoid the FCA regs around residency and money management).

Yes. I had to hear that many times. Many a times I had that thrown at me, and yes I was always very grateful.

However when you do a good deed you don't need to be constantly shoving it in the person's face, specially to his own daughter and grandchild. I haven't done that to anyone I've helped. You don't know what I went tro, you only know a mini fraction of it and that's your opinion and it's fine.

I didn't treat him as a stranger, not sure where you got that but like I said it's fine, I welcome all perspectives.

Why makes you think it is a crime not to inform your bank you have moved?

Moved abroad. That should read.
Living in one country and having a bank account in a second country with a fake address within the second country is illegal. It’s illegal for you and your bank. That’s why they will close you account if they find out and why many banks now refuse service to anyone living outside the country they are located within.

What makes me think this? Life experience which includes emigrating/immigrating and having bank accounts in more than one country.

Either way... thank you for your responses I've apreciated the feedback.

I think I did what was best.
Maybe I should have just kept all his letters, and continue doing what I was doing prior to when I started sending them back.

In my head I thought if he really is not coming back anymore (which he made it very clear) It's pointless to keep receiving the letters. Me opening them meant I had to deal with them and with where they would come from ( eg the check, NHS appointments etc)

If I was to move anywhere the bank would be the first place I would update my details with, because it's such an important step. Banks even have a whole reading section on "Moving home? Who to contact and what to do"

Anyway thank you for the replies.

Had you mentioned anything about the post to your DF?

I wouldn't have wrote on the envelopes for return without discussing it with him first.

*I don't believe there is any such crime as "address fraud", in the UK. Can you link to anything that says otherwise?

I have tried googling, and found nothing, but obviously if I'm right, there will be nothing to find.

Why makes you think it is a crime not to inform your bank you have moved*

having an account open in one country when the owner is not living in the country leaves the bank open to money laundering and fraud attempts. There is a risk the account could be used as a layering or mule account with criminal transactions from abroad. And if they don’t maintain accurate records or close risky accounts they are subject to fines from regulators under financial crime laws. They also have to adhere to international tax rules.
they sometimes allow accounts to remain open but only if they can speak to the account holder on a regular basis to update “know your customer” information so that they know exactly what to expect in and out of the account. They couldn’t contact him as he had changed his number so they closed the account.

The OPs father had a responsibility to notify the bank he had moved out of the country, give them his new address and phone number ( they would’ve sent his mail internationally) and answer the “know your customer questions and non residency tax information. He did not do this so the fault lies with him.

Not your fault op your dad was in the wrong and he should of sorted his affairs before leaving. Awful not even cancelling his NHS either.

Different countries have different laws, I'm not sure why you think experience in one country is helpful in a different one.

Based on you clarification, I gather you have no specific reason to think it is a crime in the UK for an individual not to inform their bank that they've left the country.