AIBU to not want my husband to use my car for basketball practices?

[ConfusedAdult2001]

Long story short, my husband's car got repossessed as he wasn't making payments on it after being out of work for 6-7 months. I have my car and inherited my aunt's car after she passed. Originally it was gonna go to my sister as her first car once she got her license, but since she still doesn't have it, we agreed to let my husband use it for work until he has enough money saved up for a down payment on another car. However, my aunt's car has some issues, enough to the point where neither of us are comfortable with our 3.5 month old daughter being transported in it (it shakes, consistent low tire pressure in the rear two tires, and some more), hence why my car is the only one she's transported in currently.

DH decided he wanted to coach basketball 2x/week after work to elementary/middle schoolers. He recently told me he wanted to use my car for it. I said no because I don't want young kids, we don't really know, who have no real idea about germs/proper hand washing in my car, especially not AFTER playing contact sports without masks in the car we use to transport our newborn child due to all of the possible germs she might be exposed to.

Am I really being that unreasonable? I told him he's willing to fix up the car however he like if he so chooses to be able to possibly give needy children a ride home. I'm just not willing to sacrifice our main mode of family travel for coaching, our daughter's health, nor make it my responsibility to deep clean and sanitize my car 2x/week, among everything else on my plate.

Having seen your other post, I would simply ask myself ‘why is he prioritising spending time with strangers’ kids over his own baby’?

You're being a little ott on the germs front - she will pick up the coughs and colds you talk about anyway, just from somewhere else. She needs to pick these up to develop her immune system. Also, not having had all her vaccines won't be an issue as they're for completely different illnesses to the ones your daughter might come into contact with from your husband using the car.

I do think, however, he should be prioritising a new job over sports coaching at the minute. It's great to have a hobby, and my goodness, children's teams need volunteers, but that won't pay bills or fund car repairs

You sound OTT. What your dh is doing sounds like a good thing. It's obviously you car your choice though.

Omg you’re right, it’s the same OP.

OP, you have a big DH problem.

The husband does work. This is something he is planning to do after work.

The main issue surely is that the car needs to be repaired so it's safe on the road. If you think it's unsafe for your daughter to travel in, then it's unsafe full stop, your baby isn't more important than other road users

Op is clearly in America. Basketball is played on a court. No mud is involved

Getting a job should be his main priority here.

I said no because I don't want young kids, we don't really know, who have no real idea about germs/proper hand washing in my car, especially not AFTER playing contact sports without masks in the car we use to transport our newborn child due to all of the possible germs she might be exposed to.

YABU if this is your reasoning.

He has a job.

Ah yes, he didn't so lost car but now does.

You sound ridiculously over anxious regarding germs. Get some help, do not pass this to your daughter!

Sports coaches shouldn't be putting the children they coach into their private cars.

That's all there is to it.

Whichever body or school he volunteers through is incredibly unlikely to allow this without extra insurance.

Trainers might give lifts to matches with parent's consent but only in the same way parents car pool, it's not part of volunteering/ coaching and coaches/ trainers do not need to drive children home.

Your husband sounds strange - the whole situation does.

This is also very true - don't old cars have to be checked and approved as safe to be taxed and insured and driven on public roads wherever you live? A car like that could kill someone else's 3 month old baby (or anyone).

I agree.

You're catastrophising about germs, the car being unsafe, the outside chance another child will sit in a car (the same car you don't allow your dd to go in?) , talking about deep cleaning and sanitizing any area your dd will touch, the chance your baby will have an allergy....and posting about it in the early hours of the morning.

PND and anxiety is really common and well understood. Please consider seeking support, it sounds as though you're struggling

I don't think the husband sounds strange - I think he sounds like someone who grew up in more innocent times and just sees himself doing what coaches did for him as a kid. Remember he's a first time dad so probably hasn't given much thought to safeguarding yet!

I still wouldn't lend him my car though.