To be paranoid about husbands

[jeffbezoz]

OK hear me out. I'm newly married but I keep reading threads of women being cheated on by their husbands. That they had no idea and trusted them. So it makes me sad to think that could ever be the case for my husband. I trust him of course but I've heard so many accounts now. I think we are more vulnerable as women because (most of the time) we have to sacrifice our careers for children. What can I do to ensure I feel safe and OK if the eventuality might occur. Sorry if that's pessimistic but I want to protect myself.

Look very carefully at how he shares costs.

Lots of mean men were clearly mean before having children.

Don't give up your job or hours.

How will childcare be paid?

Make firm preparations for your mat leave finances BEFORE getting pregnant.

Does he do his share of household jobs?

If not, he's probably a dud.

A small percentage of men step up after a child is born, the lazy ones usually only get lazier IMO.

Stop reading the threads!!! If you go looking for negative stories like that you'll absolutely find them and drive yourself crazy! You married this guy for a reason because you trust him and so far im assuming he's given you no reason to doubt that. Being cheated on is horrible but it's not the end of the world, you pick yourself up and move on to better things and better people. If someone wants to cheat they will there's nothing you can do to stop that you can only control how you react to it if it ever happens. Just invest in your relationship, enjoy your relationship and make sure you have a bank account in your own name with some money in it and ideally a job even part time so you can be fully independent if you really need to be. Then live your best life with your husband knowing you've covered your bases.

mydogisthebest · Yesterday 18:46
I honestly think more men are faithful than cheat. Of course some cheat but many don't and just wouldn't“

Totally agree.

No one makes a post saying their DH hasn't cheated. There are plenty of decent men in the world

There are always exceptions, but research seems to show that couples without children tend to be happier together, as couples, than couples with.

You both need to work as a team. If you feel you're not a team or partners then don't have dc.
You and your dh should want to support each other.
I do feel women should continue working after dc as it's too risky not to but I know lots of women who took a break, reduced their hours or got another part time job.
Sometimes women actually want to step back from working to focus on children and there's nothing wrong with that either.
Invest time in your relationship too. It's important that couples stay connected.

Well, I divorced my ex and we were child free.

Me and my DH have children and I'm a million times happier than when I was in my child free ( by choice) marriage.

It's the people not necessarily the situation.

As someone who ended up totally reliant on someone after having a child with a disability

Make sure you are financially independent as much as possible, so keep working even if it's really reduced hours

Some men really don't show you who they are until after you have a child, if you 3nd up with one like this don't have any more dc

Actually don't hang around hoping things will change, they won't and you are better off leaving. Even if like me you end up on full benefits for a few years before being able to get back into work