Does anyone genuinely walk into a room of strangers and feel no fear?

[elprup]

Anyone? I wouldn’t say I have social anxiety, but the thought of walking into a room full of strangers and having to make small talk would make me nervous. Curious to know whether this is normal or if it does mean I have some sort of anxiety around people?

I don’t feel fear, no. But then I can talk to a conference hall full of strangers for 45 minutes without feeling fear, just a bit keyed up. I feel fear in other situations though, so it’s horses for courses really.

100%.

Hit 50, ceased to care one iota what others thought of me. So liberating.

Genuinely doesn't bother me at all 🤷‍♀️

Actually, this! As I said just now, no fear whatsoever, but I'd not enjoy it at all...I'd find it tedious and would be bored, as I hate small talk! I have very little interest in people I don't know and would do the minimum I could get away with and leave 🤣

I'm fine with this but then I pretty much have to do it in my job so have had lots of practice. I'm also pretty sociable and like an audience

I have no problem at all. You never know how interesting the evening might be - you might roll your eyes internally at what some people might say but equally, you might also meet some people you find very interesting, maybe people you really connect with - and vice versa. I find it very easy to break the ice with strangers - and I don't only gravitate towards the most outwardly friendly - I always say - you have to dig for diamonds - I find some people that initially seem difficult to talk to are actually some of the most interesting.

Me too

I cannot imagine not feeling dread. I get the shits in the run up to anything like that from the anxiety. I feel panicky just thinking about it

I wouldn't say fear ever - mild unease as I don't have great social skills and I'm terrible with names, but it doesn't frighten me and I sort of look forward to the challenge of trying to break the ice.

Same here! And as someone with social anxiety, this thread has made me feel a million times worse. We social anxiety sufferers are often told not to worry, because everyone else in the room is feeling anxious about how they’re going to make small talk, and how they’re coming across to others, so we’re all in the same boat so to speak. But clearly that isn’t the case!

not at all (on the judging front). This is a largely function of age though - I felt much more worried about what people thought of me in my 20s. I don't actually give a toss now though.

And you can always find someone to talk to. There's always someone else who doesn't know anyone or who wants to meet new people. I really like people - I find them interesting!

I have to do this regularly as part of my job - it's fine. And public speaking too (which used to scare me a lot more).

Here's the thing. Most people aren't thinking about you. They are thinking of the cost of living.

Also as pp said, it has got better as I got older. I was anxious in my 20s. Now I don't care that much about what people think of me.

I also really enjoy public speaking! on a topic I know.

Just being around strangers doesn’t bother me at all if I’m just one of the crowd. I actually quite like it!.

If I’m expected to speak in front of them though, I would be feeling apprehensive.

If expected to speak in front of people I know - I’d be sweating buckets and dying a death!

I worry about being judged because I’ve recently moved to a new area and am yet to make friends. I worry I won’t make any!

It is perfectly normal to be a little bit nervous of going somewhere on your own, but equally it is perfectly normal to either not be bothered by it, and it is also perfectly normal to relish the idea of having time to chat to new people.

What strikes me as odd on so many threads on here though is that so many people can't accept that is is normal to be a little nervous and that doesn't mean you have "anxiety" and it doesn't mean you aren't capable of doing it.
Most people get butterflies in one circumstance or another - it is a normal, human reaction. What parents should do is teach their dc that is a normal, human reaction, and support them to work through it, so the next time you feel it, you remember it was all okay.

@Kite22 good advice, but my issue is that I HAVE been through that sensation (before meeting people) a million times, and yet I still feel extremely nervous before social situations, to the point of getting diarrhoea, sweating buckets and feeling like I’m going to throw up. I try to visualise past situations where it went okay or even well, but it doesn’t seem to work that much.

It would not bother me if room of strangers. Room of reptiles I would run away screaming.

Whereas I would genuinely prefer a room of reptiles!

Doesn't bother me at all.

No, because why would they judge me? They don’t know me. I don’t judge people I don’t know - do you? What a waste of energy!

The only time I’d judge a stranger would be if they drew attention to themselves in some sort of way, but it would have to be quite extreme for me to form any sort of opinion about them.

As for being left with nobody to talk to - I either don’t care and am quite glad not to have to make small talk, or I just approach some people in conversation and say ‘mind if I join you?’ This only works when everyone’s strangers though. I wouldn’t do that when other people are already in established groups. In such a situation I would feel awkward, but not necessarily anxious. I might go talk to the organiser if there is such a person, make it clear I’m a billy no-mates, then they’ll probably find some people to introduce me to, and I’ll tag along with them.

I don't mind strangers.
A room full of spiders however, would traumatise me forever!

@elprup a big part of my job is chatting to random strangers. My tips are:

to be conversant with current affairs and anything interesting happening related to the event, so you have a ready source of fall-back topics (so knowing a bit about a speaker, having read school or nursery newsletter so you know what’s been going on, asking if they know anything about x event which will be happening soon etc

to approach people on their own or looking nervous

to know that you can easily escape if the person you are talking to is hard work ‘was great to meet you, hope you have a lovely evening’ then move on

Try and find out one interesting thing about a certain number of people

it is ok to be nervous

Most of the time I don’t mind at all. Yet I get bad nerves before any meeting at work that has the potential to be confrontational

Another question - if you speak to someone who is very obviously a little nervous at a party or other event, do you judge them for that?