To feel like I’m NEVER on top of chores

[Heythatwasmyhotdog]

Just that really. DS6 at school, DS2 at home with me, doesn’t go to nursery yet, OH works all the time and doesn’t do much at home either chores wise or with the kids. Yep he’s one of those 🙄
other than literally never ending washing/drying/ironing/putting away, I am getting down at how my house is always dusty/not lovely and clean however much I try. I run the hoover round but never get right into all the corners etc, I wipe the kitchen and bathroom down but again never spend ages doing it so it’s never sparkling like I would like it to be. Constantly feeling stressed as I’m chasing my tail just trying to get some sort of reasonable standard of cleanliness and order and it isn’t happening, plus constantly aware of the kids not having fun while I’m doing this. OH always critical of what hasn’t been done or the standard to which it’s been done. He says things like “did your mother teach you nothing about keeping a home? This is your ONLY job”
feeling stressed, useless and overwhelmed. I grew up in a messy, grubby house and I feel panicked that my kids will feel the same. Any tips appreciated!

If my DH said anything so fucking rude and sexist I would tell him to fuck off.

Cleaning is a waste of a life. Yes it needs to be hygienic. It doesn't need to sparkle. You sound like you have cleaning issues from your childhood, I'm sure your house is clean enough.

You have a DH problem.

How do other people keep their homes non embarrassing?

Seriously the DUST is driving me insane

Agree with above pp's but just wanted to say it's never ending when you have little kids. Your little one will be at nursery in a short year and then you can get into the corners. Life is too short

Maybe employ a cleaner even fortnightly? Might help you feel better.

I find pledge works best for dust. I try and dust every two weeks if I can

@beststepforward I WISH I could afford a cleaner 😂

@beststepforward do you use a micro fibre cloth? What do you find best to dust with?

I dust every couple of weeks, what are you doing? Get a damp cloth, wipe round. It takes 10 minutes.

Don't use pledge/other, is just aerosol poison.

The dust is not the issue on this thread. The issue is the rude DH.

You have a full time job doing childcare

Therefore if the cleaning isn't up to scratch your husband needs to do more

OP it's a bit weird you're asking about microfibre cloths when the glaring issue is your DP

Tell him to pitch in or fuck off

Get a cleaner and a robot hoover

I'd be asking my DH to do it/show me how it should be to meet his standard, he's being a knob. That way he does some of the cleaning.

I find those microfibre mitt dusters with the big loops are good then shake it off outside. I know where you're coming from, my mother wasn't a great cleaner but interestingly their house was never dusty - mine is, but I have 2 dogs and live on a fairly busy road so think that's where it comes from. Childhood experience is definitely a factor in my case

Life is about choices. If you clean until your house is sparkling you have to choose to not do something else thats important. Like spending time with children, resting, reading a book, going out to see friends etc etc

Plus your DH is an arse and his dig about you mother is cruel

Pledge fluffy dusters are amazing! Buy one and whip it round. Works so much better than a traditional duster and actually traps the dust instead of moving it around. None of us live in a spotless house, not really. It’s not achievable with small children x

I feel a bit guilty suggesting this, because it's not as environmentally friendly as it could be, but I find it much easier to remove dust if I use a swiffer duster. The dust clings to the duster, then you chuck the used duster in the bin, and so the dust is GONE.
For the floor, even for carpet, use a squeegee to clean (I really need to get down and scrape hard for carpet, but still faster than vacuuming). You'll end up with a little pile of dust which you can sweep up easily with a dustpan.

Oh, and meant to say that your husband is being a jerk.

Fucking hell, do your children hear him speaking to you like that? If my husband ever said something like that to me, it would have been the last. You have a massive, massive DH problem.

Your husband is an arse. That's a given.

As for cleaning. Concentrate on one room whilst your toddler naps. Take a half hour to clean/dust or hoover. Take the other half hour to relax with a cuppa.

If not good enough for husband get him to "show you how it's done on the weekend"
Prick.

If my partner said anything like that to me I would laugh at him and go on strike. Your job is childcare, not cleaning - both of you can do that. Remind him if DS were in nursery it would be costing about £70 a day, depending on where you are in the country.

Lower your standards for housekeeping-a bit of dust never killed anyone, but raise your standards with regard to men.

OP, my DC are the same age and I'm also a SAHP. I have stopped trying to keep my house clean beyond the basic tasks (no hoovering into corners here either) because it is just not worth it. With young DC it all needs doing again in a blink of an eye. It does bother me too but like a PP said, soon your youngest DC will be in nursery and then you'll have a bit more time.
My DH would not dare comment on the state of the house, he knows how much work the DC are and happily takes them out while I clean in peace. I think you need to have a chat with your DH. He needs to lower his standards or chip in.

I swear whenever I turn my back there is a little crumb goblin in my kitchen.

whilst I don’t expect DH to do a huge amount of housework, he is absolutely not to just leave everything at his arse because that’s just courteous, and it really helps a lot. Does your husband at least pick up after himself?

Oh, just went back and read the end of your post and how your husband gives you grief. He sounds shit.

After you have given him hell be honest with yourself and tot up just how much time you spend on your phone everyday.