Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

10% gratuity added to bill

739 replies

Byz · 24/10/2022 14:19

AIBU to be annoyed by a 10% gratuity charge being automatically added to my bill at a restaurant?

Seafood restaurant in the North East, a little town, not a city.

For four of us our bill came to about £230 and a £23 tip was automatically added to the bill. It did state at the bottom of the menu an optional charge would be added but they didn't ask me before actually adding it.
When the waitress brought the bill over she reminded us about the gratuity and said she would remove it if we prefer but I think I should have been asked if I wanted it adding in the first place. It was quite embarrassing to ask for it to be removed. She was polite about it but did seem a bit surprised.

Food was good, service was good and I would have left £10 but it soured the evening a bit so I left nothing. I don't think tips should be expected in this country.

OP posts:
limitedperiodonly · 27/10/2022 18:55

Can someone explain what is restaurant service "above and beyond" that would earn a tip?

@lillila this is slightly unfair because you're not the only one to say it but you are the most recent so I've alighted on you. Them's the breaks. So what would make you give an extra reward? I really want to know.

I'll give my own example of exceptional service to start you off.

We were having a family outing and my SIL started to cough. Discreetly at first and then more. She went red in the face and looked terrified and we realised she was choking. My brother slapped her on the back but it didn't work. She was dying in front of us.

A waitress, not ours, came over grabbed her from behind and shouted: "Come on!" She did the Heimlich manoeuvre and after a few thrusts it actually worked and Maureen coughed out the bit of dinner that was killing her. We were so grateful and the waitress said: "I learned it at first aid but I've never done it before." She looked as shocked as us but weirdly hardly anyone else in the restaurant noticed because it happened so fast. She went back to her job.

We left a tip. But just the one we were planning to. We were glad the waitress saved my SIL's life but anyone with that rare skill would have done it so that wasn't our reason for leaving the standard 12.5 per cent tip. We left one because apart from the exceptional life-saving bit the service was good and call me a conventional fool but it's the custom.

So given that what is everyone else's idea of service "above and beyond"?

Frankiez · 27/10/2022 19:42

Yes you are ridiculous to act that way. So you were annoyed and didn’t leave the server any tip? This isn’t their doing it’s the restaurant. So you punish her for their policy ! Yes a tip is expected and it should be. If this is something you don’t like then don’t go out to eat! In the USA servers don’t even make minimum wage their entire income depends on tips! She Removed it with no issue so what did she do so wrong that you had the nerve to leave her $0?

Maverickess · 27/10/2022 20:15

Can someone explain what is restaurant service "above and beyond" that would earn a tip?

For some, nothing would ever be enough, tip or no tip, I know that for sure!

Though I would be interested to know too.

I have reached the point where I wish tipping would stop tbh because all the shit that goes with it just is not worth an extra £20/30 a week. It's really not. I'd settle for just being treated like a human being at this stage 🤣.

Squirelnutkins · 27/10/2022 20:25

Yes a tip is expected and it should be. If this is something you don’t like then don’t go out to eat!

hahaha, since when did you decide what people should and should not do, I'd love to see how many restaurant owners would agree with you. Talk about pearl clutching 😂😂😂

Maverickess · 27/10/2022 20:30

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 27/10/2022 10:08

I was saying about adding hush hush charges to your bill in response to the comment about it being a normal thing to check your receipt - which seemed to me to be suggesting that might be the first you hear of such charges.

I suppose it's slightly less dishonest of the restaurant if they tell waiting staff to verbally advise you of it, but again, most people will assume that 'service charge = tip' - I think it's a terrible position to put your serving staff in if you're effectively making them tell people what tip they're going to take, unless the customer objects; so humiliating.

Also, yes it may well be written on the menu, but usually in tiny little print on the bottom of the page. If they're so proud of the service they offer and thus assume that people will consider it a pleasure to pay the charge, why don't they routinely mention it in normal-sized print at the top of the page and (at all) on the big blackboards outside?

I agree it's an awful position to put the staff in, but then it's not uncommon for companies to throw their employees under the bus with policies and stuff that they know fine well will piss off customers and they'll have a load of crap to deal with, or for customers to know fine well it's not the person in front of them who is responsible, but take it out on them personally anyway because they're frustrated and angry, I mean I guess some people labour under the impression that their 'feedback' will be well, fed back and something will change, but usually if it's putting money in the till then it's not going to happen, no matter how much shit the staff who deal with customers put up with because of it.

I don't for a minute think that these service charges are being added by companies for the benefit of their employees, maybe they like to pretend they are so they look like good employers? Without actually having to pay more or raise prices which could result in a loss of business.
Someone upthread made a point about it being easier to track 'extra' money that is given in tips and therefore for it to be declared and then tax paid on it - maybe that's part of the reason (as well as taking a cut for 'admin') many have started doing this, because it's less of a faff?

As I've said, it's a practice I don't believe in anyway and it'd be one of the things that would put me off working somewhere, because of the potential for hassle with customers over it.

Frankiez · 27/10/2022 21:53

Squirelnutkins · 27/10/2022 20:25

Yes a tip is expected and it should be. If this is something you don’t like then don’t go out to eat!

hahaha, since when did you decide what people should and should not do, I'd love to see how many restaurant owners would agree with you. Talk about pearl clutching 😂😂😂

There is nothing to 🤣🤣 about she said the food and service was good there was no reason to treat the server that way and is she doesn’t like to tip then stay home !

Brokendaughter · 27/10/2022 22:15

Seriously, if a waitress had saved someones life then got back to work & I'd seen it even on another table, I'd be leaving that woman an extra tip.

If that is not above & beyond I don't know what is!

Charcy · 27/10/2022 23:55

pimlicoanna · 26/10/2022 09:03

I'm amazed at how many people think that tip goes to the waiting staff when it's added directly to the bill like this.

It does.
Unless you work somewhere dodgy.
It's paid through payroll and taxed accordingly at a reduced rate of 10%.

limitedperiodonly · 28/10/2022 00:00

A tip is an optional extra stated on the menu before ordering. If you don't want to give it then just say at the beginning that you don't. If the bill comes with the optional payment included then say it's a mistake and you don't want to pay it and settle your adjusted bill.

theddorai · 28/10/2022 02:11

Then customary tip is 15%. You understand that those that work in the service industry rely on tips as this is their income. So, you couldn’t find it in your heart to even leave that? How cheap are you?

theddorai · 28/10/2022 02:13

stingy.. huh?

Squirelnutkins · 28/10/2022 02:46

theddorai · 28/10/2022 02:11

Then customary tip is 15%. You understand that those that work in the service industry rely on tips as this is their income. So, you couldn’t find it in your heart to even leave that? How cheap are you?

Customary for where exactly because from where I'm from that's just made up bollocks. If your pay is shit either take it up with your employer or find a better job. That's what 99% of all other employees do on other industries 🙄

memorial · 28/10/2022 04:40

I have reached the point where I wish tipping would stop tbh because all the shit that goes with it just is not worth an extra £20/30 a week. It's really not. I'd settle for just being treated like a human being at this stage 🤣.

I dunno where you work but my daughter makes a couple hundred pounds a week in tips. She works exceptionally hard as well as going to uni and earns every penny.
She works for a big chain and gets to keep cash tips and 50% of card tips/service charges (the other 50% going to kitchen/bar/managers etc NOT the company). She doesn't mind this at all and prefers it because it's amazing how many stingy bustards there are out there.
This thread is quite sad in its gaslighting meanness and attempts to justify just being stingy and mean hearted.
It's not a race to the bottom and I'm pretty sure those on here trying to justify their self indulgence aren't on minimum wage. Stop being so ridiculous and don't pretend you don't tip out of misplaced loyalty to other low paid workers. Just own your mean selfish entitlement.

Mydpisgrumpierthanyours · 28/10/2022 08:54

Where are you all eating that tipping is normal? Think I've only been to half a dozen places in my life that add tip on.
Its not normal at all and more people need to stand up and call places out on it.

OneTC · 28/10/2022 09:50

Mydpisgrumpierthanyours · 28/10/2022 08:54

Where are you all eating that tipping is normal? Think I've only been to half a dozen places in my life that add tip on.
Its not normal at all and more people need to stand up and call places out on it.

The UK in almost anywhere with table service

BecksOclock · 28/10/2022 09:59

The way you're clutching at straws here to try and make yourself feel better because you've been pulled up on not leaving the £10 tip is really laughable.

Codfishermen · 28/10/2022 10:01

Stop being so ridiculous and don't pretend you don't tip out of misplaced loyalty to other low paid workers. Just own your mean selfish entitlement.

Amen to that, sister!

dutysuite · 28/10/2022 10:04

I decide how much to tip not the restaurant therefore, I hate any service being added and if the staff aren’t receiving it then I will ask for it to come off and personally tip them.

Maverickess · 28/10/2022 10:46

memorial · 28/10/2022 04:40

I have reached the point where I wish tipping would stop tbh because all the shit that goes with it just is not worth an extra £20/30 a week. It's really not. I'd settle for just being treated like a human being at this stage 🤣.

I dunno where you work but my daughter makes a couple hundred pounds a week in tips. She works exceptionally hard as well as going to uni and earns every penny.
She works for a big chain and gets to keep cash tips and 50% of card tips/service charges (the other 50% going to kitchen/bar/managers etc NOT the company). She doesn't mind this at all and prefers it because it's amazing how many stingy bustards there are out there.
This thread is quite sad in its gaslighting meanness and attempts to justify just being stingy and mean hearted.
It's not a race to the bottom and I'm pretty sure those on here trying to justify their self indulgence aren't on minimum wage. Stop being so ridiculous and don't pretend you don't tip out of misplaced loyalty to other low paid workers. Just own your mean selfish entitlement.

Um ok 🤷🏼‍♀️

a) I tip if I go out to eat, which isn't very often admittedly, unless service is awful. But up until now I haven't said, so nice assumption there.

b) We share tips among everyone who works where I do, so they're lower than if you don't, because everyone from maintenance to FOH has a bearing on the level of experience you can provide. I realise I'm not some kind of rockstar because I'm FOH, and we get 100% of tips minus the tax paid. It's also shared based on hours worked.

c) I'm talking about my own experiences here of the treatment of service staff in general and how tipping for some, is another stick to beat them with and how the militant tippers who are so keen on defending waiting staff and getting tips don't seem to actually give a shit about that bit, but just want to virtue signal over their massive generosity, and slate those who feel differently. And an added service charge just adds to the issue there because it's a potential source of conflict for the customer who feels pressured to pay it and then takes that out on the person serving them (with unjustified shitty reviews like the OP here).

d) I actually made the same point further upthread about if you don't want to tip, then own your decision and don't make out like you haven't tipped because the service was lacking and then go be a keyboard warrior.

e) I do wonder why you felt the need to shoehorn in there how hard your DD works and that she's at university?

Newmum0322 · 28/10/2022 10:51

Anyone else see this thread in the daily mail today?!? 😂😂

ivykaty44 · 28/10/2022 10:57

Newmum0322 why are you reading DM?

KillingLoneliness · 28/10/2022 11:08

@theddorai not in the UK.
Servers are paid minimum wage or more depending on where they work, they don’t need tips and it’s not a requirement, it’s always been optional and by the responses on this post those that do tip see it as some sort of social norm which I personally don’t agree with so therefore I don’t tip.

KillingLoneliness · 28/10/2022 11:12

How is it mean and stingy to not give (a completely optional) tip? Your dd is paid a living wage, why should others who are also on the same wage pay her extra for just doing her job?
I don’t understand why servers are seen as deserving of tips when others on minimum wage aren’t, you don’t go round tipping care workers and they have a much harder job but imo they are more deserving due to the responsibilities they have and what they have to endure.

Newmum0322 · 28/10/2022 11:45

@ivykaty44 because that’s what the cool kids read

BigAl66 · 28/10/2022 13:39

So, if a customer was to decide that they have had a BAD service, would it be OK to automatically deduct 10%

I guess not.