TW: Child abuse ....AIBU to not care whether this makes people uncomfortable

[FarTooMany19]

TW: Child abuse/harm/death

www.communitycare.co.uk/2007/01/10/
what-have-we-learned-child-death-scandals-since-1944/

I remember reading the above article as a training Social Worker. I have worked in Child protection, Virtual Schools, Children Looked After etc for many years. These awful tragedies keep on happening. Star Hobson, Arthur Labinjo-Hughes, Asiah Kudi...so many more.

On the back of some threads that have been up recently where people have said things like school safeguarding have taken it too far visiting at home/schools should not be allowed to do home visits/infringing on parental rights etc/people need to stop being nosy was one today about a mum sat in a car for hours with a baby/or toddler....AIBU to say that I DONT CARE if that makes parents uncomfortable to be questioned. I only care that I never have to come in to work and know that a child I worked with has been killed/seriously harmed. I know we can't prevent all deaths but my god, can't we do better. It happens too often still.

This is perhaps too much of a rant but I came across the article above from so so many years ago and realised that every year there are still lives lost that could have been saved.

This probably isn't as coherent as I want it to be. ^ but I hope you understand the gist

That's the whole point of safeguarding. You have to ignore those who object to it and focus on the wellbeing of the potentially vulnerable person.

Safeguarding is everyone's responsibility!

Absolutely @WallaceinAnderland but there have been so many posts lately where people are 'mortified' or 'incensed' by being questioned by people whose role it is to do exactly that.

I know it's uncomfortable and intrusive but do people not understand it's for a reason!

Agreed @00100001

Strongly agree. If something looks weird or doesn’t feel right, do something.

Agreed 100%.

So? They can be mortified and incensed. Safeguarding is still the priority. Just makes them look silly at best.

Yes, of course but what I'm getting at is surely they understand the need?! And for those who don't I wish they'd understand that just because you know you aren't an abuser doesn't mean everyone else knows that!

YANBU at all
see also, the final report into child sex abuse in this country
so many people harmed

Yes you're right.

On the other extreme you get people like us who have neighbours making continual malicious reports as part of the harassment. Every time I get a withheld call my heart drops.

@purpleme12 People who waste police/Children Services time with fake allegations are terrible. Taking time away from those who may desperately need it.

You’re right of course but you never know how authentic posters are on here, someone might be posting the stuff you mention as a deliberate attempt to goad or get a reaction rather than as a reflection of how they really feel/what really happened.

Hmm I slightly disagree OP and I'm also a SW.

I think CP needs a complete and nation wide overhaul. We still don't have a joined up system with other local authorities (was recommended in the VC serious review) we still operate on quite a classist, imo, mode of operation and for all the talk about relationship based practice being the best CP doesn't manage it on a consistent basis.

We also have different thresholds for CIN and CP plans in different LAs. That's not acceptable.

One of my kids was unbelievably full on and accident prone. After multiple trips to A&E in less than a year, I was formally asked to attend a session with my child and an HP. Can’t remember how they worded it - something like a ‘development check’ - but it was very clearly an assessment for safeguarding purposes.

Yes, I was mortified. Yes, it was a bit uncomfortable being scrutinised. But I never once questioned their decision to do so - it was absolutely the right thing to do and our record of hospital visits definitely should have triggered alarm bells. Their intervention was not heavy handed and I was just reassured to see that there was a safety net in place.

Like you, OP, I can’t understand the level of outrage on some of the recent threads. I’d rather occasional mistakes are made and good parents are made to feel a bit embarrassed than the alternative, which is that vulnerable children are left unprotected.

Thank goodness for people like you and the work you do.

My question is - with the level of oversight, as you say, reported here - where a child mentions e.g their angry Dad and SS immediately gets called - how is that children are still being seriously hurt or killed?

It feels like it doesn't marry up and it definitely doesn't feel like what is currently in place is currently working.

Feels like the system is broken - it stresses the parents who aren't causing harm and does nothing to actually prevent cruelty to children who do need the interventions.

I don't have inside working knowledge of safeguarding- so I am going on media reports which I understand are sensationalised, flawed and don't provide the full picture.

But interested to know how you respond to that? I'd totally appreciate your argument of strong oversight if that also generated a zero death/significant abuse result. But it doesn't. Kids are still being failed - in your own words you walk into work and find another child has been seriously harmed or killed. For me that can only mean the current guidelines don't work. Otherwise we wouldn't have these deaths.

All of the children murdered that you mention were already on grave danger. Grnadparents/family had reported on multiple occasions yet nobody did anything. Who was safeguarding these poor mites?

I'm not sure we do disagree? I also think it needs a huge overhaul, but haven't said that in my OP as there's so much that could be said and I was not as comprehensive as I might have been.

I completely agree re working together across LAs. My mind boggles that we don't all use one central system in each LA so we can get information without all of the back and forth/waiting/missed info. So many families go under the radar due to moving about so much!

Absolutely, in those particular cases there were both many reports but also missed information/opportunities to see the children.

I guess I focused on the missed opps to see the children due to some recent MN posts where people have complained about the audacity of professionals (not just SWs) coming to see their children. I do see on MN a lot of posts such as 'HVs are ridiculous, just opt out' and 'schools don't have a right to visit you at home'. While this may be all well and true, it's an attitude that may not harm your children if they are safe but might harm others.

Social workers are usually one piece of a very complex puzzle. There are so many others who often know the child loads better.

In my experience with a social worker of children in my family that were on a child protection plan and the youngest (5) disclosing being hit at home for being naughty, isn't very good.

she said "i have witnessed his tantrums and he's awfully behaved and i have only ever witnessed him being dealt with appropriately"

well of course you've only ever witnessed him being dealt with appropriately they're not going to beat him in front of you!

I think the way that these instances are dealt with is alot to do with children being killed rather than the lack of reporting.

in most cases of parents killing children they are already heavily on social services radar or on child protection plans.

So whilst i agree that people should report concerns and whether that comes to anything or not is the way it is. If parents feel awkward about it its just tough. I also feel that there needs to be a massive overhaul in the way these things are investigated so that children who are being emotionally and physically harmed are being looked after before the worst happens because in my experience social services only act when something happens which is exactly the thing they're supposed to prevent

I'm sick of reading after every child's death "lessons have been learned."
Obviously not or kids still wouldn't be killed.....baby P and that poor toddler in Dundee for example.

100% agree with you op

I've had more than one phone call from social services over the years. It's not nice to have to justify yourself or to know there's a risk that you could end up being investigated and possibly losing your children, but it is necessary. in fact, I am more concerned that they have never sent a social worker round after at least three different accusations!

As part of our neighbour's harrassment towards us, they started these malicious reports to SS about me. Well looking back I am so glad I logged the first incidents of harrassment with 101 cos I could say to them it's them, it's logged with police and it's all part of what they're doing. I had to be persuaded to log the first incident. It would have been true whether I'd logged it or not but still it made me glad I did

Totally agree!