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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I will be ok 4 weeks after a Hysterectomy??

105 replies

Allthefoodandwine · 24/10/2022 13:13

Hello!

Was due to have an abdominal total Hysterectomy, including ovaries tomorrow.
Caught Covid, so it has had to be delayed.
New date 29th November.

We are hosting Christmas for 12, including family over from Australia.
DH is a great cook, but, cannot cope with more than one thing on the hob and one thing in the oven at a time.
The normal rule in our house, is he in on drinks/canapé/hosting duties, and leaves me to the oven & hob.

This works well.

However, this year, I will have had a Hysterectomy 3.5 weeks before Christmas Day.

Yes I have read all of the various guidelines with what you can, and cannot do - they are confusing.
I am not planning on lifting the turkey, or heavy pans etc....

But from those who have had a Hysterectomy, what will I be able to do?

Just trying to get my head around it all!

Thanks!

OP posts:
JanetSally · 24/10/2022 15:48

I've had a total abdominal hysterectomy. I really don't think I'd have been able to cook Christmas Dinner 4 weeks later. It's a few weeks before you can even bend down properly to get things out of cupboards.

Whistlesandbell · 24/10/2022 15:52

I remember helping my DM make a drink because she couldn’t lift a kettle full of water for a good few weeks after her hysterectomy. This was about 35 years ago so I don’t know if things have changed.
I think between you both you could do it as in you tell your DH what needs to be done but then getting your guests drinks etc will stop need to be sorted. It sounds stressful. Plan the easiest meal you can (M&S) and maybe have a practice run with your DH before you op.
Do you think any of your guests could help cook, bring dishes to your house or offer to host?

Malfi · 24/10/2022 15:53

There is no way I would do this. You have no idea how the surgery is going to go, how tired you will feel etc. I wouldn’t want the pressure of knowing I have to feed 12 people for Christmas.

Cruisebabe1 · 24/10/2022 16:17

Allthefoodandwine · 24/10/2022 13:21

@changer121 unfortunately it's a surgical cut, due to an enlarged uterus caused by Adenomyosis.
Would LOVE to have keyhole, but my surgeon said it's just not possible.

I have had keyhole done for my hysterectomy, it still took 12 weeks to get some normality. You shouldn’t even be lifting a full milk bottle foe 4 weeks. Take care (and unlike me )do the exercises they give you. I didn’t and still have the spare tyre!😂😂

Ivchangedmynameforthis · 24/10/2022 16:28

I had a vaginal hysterectomy with no external cut or stitches 10 days before Xmas and although i was up and about I couldn't have cooked Xmas Dinner. I had a big bleed Xmas eve from overdoing it and nearly ruined Xmas.

Dixiechickonhols · 24/10/2022 16:37

Good point about if you overdo it and need medical treatment it’s Christmas with staff and bed shortages.
A lot depends on you both and your set up. If I had been laid up for weeks my house would not be visitor ready. If you don’t care fine but if you hate thought of visitors in a less than pristine house then you will be tempted to clean & tidy.
Is dh is fully aware of where everything is? In our house there would be conversations like did you get the gravy boat out? What? The gravy boat. Him rummaging and declaring it’s not there we have no such thing. Repeat for extra bedding, tablecloth etc.
How big is your house? It’s fine saying lie down and relax but if you have a small house and 12 guests it’s not practical to use up entire sofa on one person.

Duchess379 · 24/10/2022 16:41

I don't think you'll be in any shape tbh. I had keyhole surgery 5 days before Christmas and was knackered Christmas Day. You won't be able to bend down, lift a heavy turkey & potatoes etc. Another family member will have to cook

parietal · 24/10/2022 16:57

Is there one other sensible adult among the 12 guests who you trust and who would take on kitchen duty? you direct operations from a chair while your guest-cook does all the heavy lifting?

meanwhile your DH can entertain the other guests.

if that doesn't work, go for a hotel.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 24/10/2022 17:11

It does partly depend upon how much of a relief it is to have the hysterectomy, as friends who had one for things like endometriosis woke up feeling like they could take on the world because they'd been so ill for so long.

BUT a surgical wound is still a wound and it's very similar to a section in the way that some people bounce back immediately and others feel terrible. And at least you aren't solely responsible for a gaggle of toddlers and a colicky newborn/lack of sleep at the same time.

For practicality, I'd say try to plan and reduce the things that need to be done at once and think of it as you sitting securely and comfortably whilst directing the bigger operations, then perhaps doing a few small, lower effort things.

Peel veg between you the day before, preferably whilst sitting in front of the telly. So you'll lose some vitamin C, big deal, nobody's going to get scurvy from one day.

The table could be set the night before. It'll look pretty and won't be done in a rush when he's trying to cook.

A three tier steamer is brilliant, as you leave it on the side and veg keeps warm and out of the way/off the hob. And you can steam potatoes/larger parsnips in advance (I suggest the day before) before DH puts them into hot fat after the meat has been taken out, covered and left to rest.

Whilst he's doing the spuds, the kettle could be on for hot water so that any cabbage/broccoli goes straight into boiling water on the hob. You could probably manage to lift the green veg out of the pan with a slotted spoon into a sieve, rather than lifting the pan and tipping into a colander. This also means there's hot water for gravy - don't try and be fancy, bisto, hot water and a blob of redcurrant jelly/a pinch of dried thyme or sage is plenty.

Just don't do Yorkshires if chucking a bag of Aunt Bessie's onto the oven racks once it's been turned off is out of the question.

Pudding - individual microwave puddings with a tetrapak of custard/ice cream/cream is enough. It's what the microwave is perfect for.

That way, the table, condiments that don't need heating (mustard, jelly, etc) are on the table and the majority of food prep is done before the day.

On the day, the meat goes into the oven first. You then sit down and chop a bit of cabbage, open a tub of bread sauce, and maybe switch the steamer on. He takes the meat out and covers it when it's done. The kettle is filled and switched on, he heats the fat for the spuds. Spuds go in. Kettle is reboiled, water into pan, green veg follow.

Spuds are turned by him, you take green veg out, cover and put to the side, doing the same for the still hot carrots/etc in the steamer. Water is reboiled for gravy.

He takes veg into dining room and you make the gravy and microwave bread sauce.
He takes gravy and bread sauce into dining room as you go and sit down. Everybody else sits down and he brings in the big dead thing to great applause. Everyone helps with serving and pouring drinks. You eat loads, the guests help with stacking plates and then taking them out and loading the dishwasher, adding the tablet and switching on as you sit in front of the telly for a rest.

Couple of hours later, the snoring stops and one of them says 'I quite fancy some pudding' - great. You're on plastic lid lifting duty, DH puts them in turn into the microwave, they sit on the side until custard/cream/ice cream is added.

Guests collect bowls and spoons and take them into the kitchen. They might even wash up.

You don't move again until you want to.

StripeyDeckchair · 24/10/2022 17:25

I had a full hysterectomy plus ovaries removed for cancer so full incision so they could have a good footle around to check it hadn't spread
Complications meant I had further surgery & spent 3 weeks in hospital.
I was back at work full time a month later.
The first couple of weeks at home were tough.

Fragglerock75 · 24/10/2022 17:26

I had a surgical hysterectomy (vertical incision) in mid-November last year and by Christmas was able to do a little helping/cooking but NO LIFTING, no hoovering and no standing for ages. I was fit before the op and have built up to doing lots in the gym again and really feel that you must give your body time to heal for a good 6 weeks. A bit of walking as you feel up for it seems to be recommended, but even with that, it should be within your comfort zone.

poorbuthappy · 24/10/2022 17:29

I am 4 weeks and 3 days post abdominal cut hysterectomy and have gone back to WFH today. I'm actually ok.

Allthefoodandwine · 24/10/2022 19:04

Thank you all SO much for your responses.... has been a great help!
DH is definitely far from useless, and we share all of the running of the house, including cooking.

But as I said, Xmas dinner for 12, is no mean feat.... especially as I always entertain with full bells & whistles.
I know it is going to be SO hard for me to just sit..... and I HATE oriole getting involved when I'm cooking.

It's been useful to hear how different peoples recoveries are...

I'm delegating the prepping & cooking of the Turkey, Puddings, Cheese board.
And I'm planning on cooking and freezing my gravy (which takes 2 days) & stuffings..

Apparently Chris Evans wife, Natasha, has already started prepping & freezing their Christmas dinner, and does it every year!

We always prep veg & lay the table on Xmas Eve, so I'm sure that will be fine.

I'm just not looking forward to having a houseful and potentially feeling crap.
Although, at least if we are at home, I can just go to bed.. which is a better option than going out for dinner.

We have 2 couples staying, so will need to make sure spare rooms are prepped before my surgery.
Fortunately though we have a cleaner, who comes on Fridays, so that will all be done.

I think as long as people aren't expecting to be waited on, and will muck in with the drinks, washing/drying/putting away...
I'm sure it will be fine.

And if all else fails, and the wheels fall off, I'll take myself off to bed!!!

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 24/10/2022 19:37

I'm just not looking forward to having a houseful and potentially feeling crap.

So you posted, waded through 4 pages of comments saying 'don't do it' and then said you're doing it anyway. Well, good luck then.

Allthefoodandwine · 24/10/2022 19:39

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy
I will not be 'doing it' - I have delegated major things out, and will have DH 'doing it' with my supervision, and help from his family members.
And when I've had enough of the festivities, I will take myself to bed.

OP posts:
Huntswomanonthemove · 24/10/2022 19:43

I had the same operation and it took me forever to recover. It was a year before I felt properly back to my old self. I made the mistake of trying to do too much too soon, which just prolonged my recovery. We went away a month after my operation and I literally did nothing. I just felt utterly exhausted.

Just take care @Allthefoodandwine and don't overdo it.

Allthefoodandwine · 24/10/2022 19:48

@Huntswomanonthemove thank you!
DH will definitely not allow me to overdo it.

I will just have to keep having a word with myself!

OP posts:
Allthefoodandwine · 24/10/2022 19:49

@poorbuthappy glad you are doing so well! You give me hope!

Thankfully my employers are amazing, and I can work from home as much as I like.

OP posts:
Allthefoodandwine · 24/10/2022 19:51

@Fragglerock75
Sounds like you have done amazingly well!
What advice were you given re the gym?
I'm having my cervix removed, as well as everything else, and have had the fear of god put into me about never being able to squat/spin/run/lift weights ever again!

Not from my surgeon, but other women who have had this surgery.

OP posts:
2bazookas · 24/10/2022 19:52

I felt incredibly tired and washed out for 6 weeks after my op. This is common after hysterectomy. NO WAY would I be hosting Christmas for 12, let alone cooking for them.

Allthefoodandwine · 24/10/2022 19:53

@NeverDropYourMooncup thank you for all the advice!
Thankfully no young children to worry about, and lots of very supportive friends and family.

OP posts:
Rarenamer · 24/10/2022 19:58

I had the same surgery and was doing more around the house at 7 weeks, but only light cleaning, please don’t lift anything heavier than a kettle!

I would get a huge swollen belly if I did too much, and even just sitting talking to people would wear me out.

Get your family to look after you, they can help your husband in the kitchen, they can’t expect you to risk harming yourself to host them (if your not careful your scar can rip or you can do a lot of internal damage).

Darbs76 · 24/10/2022 19:59

I really wouldn’t. Can’t someone else who is coming cook, or do a lot of it under your supervision?

Allthefoodandwine · 24/10/2022 20:00

@Dixiechickonhols thankfully DH cooks as much as I do, and regularly does the food shopping/cupboard sorting, as well as all of the DIY.
I've definitely got a good one!

He's been waiting on me, as well as doing the cooking, shopping & driving for the last 5 weeks as I've had my big toe fused.

So I think as long as I can supervise & map out the timings for him, he'll be fine!

OP posts:
Allthefoodandwine · 24/10/2022 20:05

Thanks @Fink
Since posting I've spoken to DH about my concerns and he has massively reassured me.
He knows he's not calm in the kitchen under pressure, but is prepared to let his family help out
(He's literally just left his Mums and has spoken to her about it all)

He's also prepared to let me conduct from a chair!

OP posts:
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