Im sick and tired of only being seen for my breasts.

[Ericamills25]

Im 25 years old, have a big chest and quite frankly, it feels like thats all people seem to give a shit about. I am so sick and tired of men coming in my dms every time i post an outfit I’m proud of talking like “unga bunga give boobie”. Every man who wants to date me or has taken me on a date have one conversation topic in common, my boobs. “Can I see them?” “I wanna put my dick in em” etc. Every pic i post, every outfit I wear MUST be “for attention” or to “show off the tits” because of their size. Dont even get me started on knowing just how often I’m not looked in the eyes while speaking if you know what i mean. Its just enraging and make body image issues go brr

OP, I think you need to be more discerning with who you date. The only time I've had men comment on my large boobs is when they're actually in bed with me. Anything else is just bad manners.

I get you on the staring thing. I get that all the time and it is annoying. Doesn't matter what you wear to hide it.

Sadly the only way you'll stop this from online is to not post pics where you can see them in.

Don't post pics. Don't give access to your DMs. It is literally that simple.

Thank you; that appears to be an online strategy. It appears that I must deal with this in the physical world. Thank you for your response.

That's the way it is unfortunately. There wasn't any social media when I was your age, so at least I didn't have that to navigate but I learned early to minimise my breasts via underwear and clothing choices if I didn't want attention from loudmouth crappy males.

So you go through life making different choices from smaller breasted women, or you decide not to care.

I had bloody MAGNIFICENT breasts and wish I'd cared a bit less tbh.

Sometimes I wonder if it's worth considering breast reduction procedures, because I believe they exist. Not only because of appearances, but I believe it has something to do with my shoulder pain.

Thanks a lot for the lovely message. That's a bit soothing.

I've always been very top heavy unfortunately.
If men talk to my chest, I turn my back and walk away.
If men pass comment I give them a stare and ask ' would you say that to your mother ?' then walk away.
Online? I've never posted a pic of myself online to be fair, but if I did and I got comments like those, I would immediately block them. They're not worth your time or headspace.
I always hang my laundry outside to dry on nice days, including my bras.
One such day, my neighbour was having some work done outside and one of the workmen said to the other ' I wouldn't mind seeing the tits that fill those '
He got the shock of his life when my husband, who was at the other side of the fence, unseen, vaulted over the fence and punched him straight in his potty mouth.
My husband isn't a violent man, but heaven help a man who makes disparaging comments about me or our daughters within his earshot.

Yours sound bigger than mine, but I still get men staring at mine if I wear clothes which show them. Obviously in an ideal world I would be able to wear whatever I liked and all the sweet darling men would politely avert their eyes. Until the ideal world happens, I have nicer days with higher necklines, and I want a nice life so this is what I choose.

I don't have any trouble online because I don't post pictures of myself to get likes. I don't understand why anyone would do that if they thought it through.
I get you need a few photos if you're doing OLD, but surely you can dress cunningly and craft the photos in order to draw attention away from your breasts?

I'm not saying you should have to do these things. We live in a world full of sleazy men and you have to choose between two less than perfect approaches. You can dress cunningly and go happily about your day unharassed. Or you can wear what you like and accept that men will behave badly. Unfortunately.

Hopefully change will happen, but in the meantime find ways to deal with the world we have.

YOU control what men see of you online. Do it.

I’m also stupidly busty, I totally get it. I stopped putting pics up of my body, I’d get no end of the shit your getting. Then you meet them and it’s the same sexual comments. It’s so disheartening, you just want someone to talk to your face and not your cleavage x

It sounds like the men you are dating are disgusting sleazebags (and, truly, there are lots of decent men out there who would never dream of commenting on a woman's breasts unless they were already in a sexual relationship with her).

But, why are you posting pictures of your outfits? What's the point? I don't get it. Maybe I'm just old.

Online: make your profile private and/or block and report people that make lewd comments, even if you know them/they're friends.

IRL: Give them a withering, disgusted look. Move away from people who make comments like this. Tell the bar staff /security. If they're in your group tell them not to ever speak to you like that again. Cut them out if they do it again.

You need ro shut down your SM so only girlfriends can see your outfit pics if you are keen to share these.

Id be very careful about how I presented myself for OLD. Sadly if more than your face is visible this is the kind of tiresome sexist asshole who is going to be wasting your time. If dating people you meet in real life, make sure they have passed the 'look at my face while you're talking to me' test before you date. Again, that should help reduce the number of time wasters.

Not much to be done about random street annoyance sadly, other than ignoring it.

Re your shoulder pain - it seems quite likely to be linked. In your situation I might consult a physio to see if she can help with posture , shoulder stretches, or back- strengthening exercises. Its also possible different underwear might help but I don't have specific advice I'm afraid

YANBU

I am very curvy and unwanted attention all of the time by men and nasty comments from women.

Just the other week I was walking with my daughter and a cyclist who looked respectable shouted ‘nice tits’.
I usually ignore it but I told him to stop being so rude and he shouted back very nastily how I almost caused him to fall off his bike and I would have been sorry if that happened.

I don’t wear tight or revealing clothing but it doesn’t really help.

On OLD I only show my face but the issue with that is when you meet in person they either don’t stop staring or will make a comment which then embarrasses me and I end up staying single.

Your husband IS a violent man. Being proud because he goes round punching people who insult his “women” is weird.

Think about how you dress , what bra you choose,

You can't escape it but you can limit it ( if you end up looking fat )

Sorry that's the best 40 years of experience can offer

And if they are Brest obsessed make sure others know - " I don't quite get on with martin as he only talks to my chest " worked well for me

If it wasn't your breasts it would be something else. Nobody is safe from smutty messages on social media or catcalling.
I'm not sure a reduction would stop sleazy guys being sleazy. You need to find a way to control what you can and ignore what you can't (or confront them if that feels appropriate and safe for you).

Yep. G cups and wear oversized tops. When I wear something more fitted that shows my body shape (huge breasts relatively small waist) you would not believe how pathetic some guys with staring and comments. I don't have any social media photos showing my breasts because unfortunately I know what filthy shit some guys get up to with women's photos.

I definitely look fatter in the oversized tops and get overlooked 😂 I guess I must be ugly.

What’s ironic is that if these men weren’t such slimey idiots then you’d probably give them a chance and could end up having sex with them so they could see and touch your breasts in RL.

But instead they choose to be pervy twats who won’t get anywhere near them.

Thanks for the advice on bra size. I always struggle with what my bra size is. I discovered that despite the same bra size from various retailers, it fits very differently. I was talking to my friend about this issue and she mentioned that M&S do something where they can measure your bra size. Does anyone use this service?

In terms of posting photos online, I'm becoming more conscious of what I post and try to crop my pictures to hide my breasts.

Hmm, considering that's the only time in forty plus years of marriage that I've ever known him to be violent, then I wouldn't consider him to be.
Nor does he see us as ' his women ' he just won't stand for us being insulted.
As I wouldn't stand for him or my son being insulted.
However, if it pleases you to think so, then there's not much I can do about that.
Enjoy your day 🙂

Surprised at the first few messages - I was dating before social media and online dating were a thing, I have had comments about my boobs since I was 11. It's not unusual, but it is horrible I agree.

I still have huge boobs but I'm huge all over now so obviously not worth even letching over. I don't have an answer, coz gross men are gonna be gross whatever you do. But I can sympathise.

M&S aren't great
Bravissimo or an independent bra shop is probably best