To hang my bl**dy MIL...

[Lunar270]

.....for re-hanging my washing on the line.

It was a nice(ish) day for hanging out the washing so there I am, pegging it all out. MIL pops round, sees me finishing the last of the washing and precedes to unpeg and hang it out again.

Now, a question for MN. I honestly don't spend much time thinking about it. However, I tend to peg garments using the strongest part of the garment. So for a tee shirt I'll peg the seam at the arm/shoulder as this also minimises peg marks. But nope, MIL turn the tee upside down and pegs the bottom seam, which results in the tee drying out of shape as it then droops (plus peg marks 🙄).

So I call her out on her ludicrous behaviour. First why the hell she's re-hanging my washing and also that she's doing it incorrectly (for me). I should bite my lip but no-one can ever do anything right in her eyes.

"Oh I've been a housewife for over 30 years so know what I'm doing". I could've hung her out with the washing too. AIBU?

I do it your way OP. But it doesn’t matter who is “right” - it’s a personal thing and if anyone came and re-did my washing I’d be incredibly annoyed.

it’s a power play, she’s trying to show you she’s top dog in whatever sphere she can, the domestic sphere. I’d get very firm and tell her to never interfere / touch your housework again - not because it’s the most important thing in the world, but to show her it’s not happening so she gets the message. But of course if you depend on her help or need to keep things cordial for some reason that’s much harder.

It’s a bit odd to re hang. I used to do it your way. But someone said they dry more evenly the other way. So tried it and they were right. I can’t hang our washing out anymore though my daughter has developed severe allergies. Pollen can get onto clothes so have to dry indoors.

There are no laws of which way is best, but it's rude of her to rearrange.

This you hand it up from the bottom - no ironing

I used to think that you hung from the thickest part but drying jeans or trousers they were always damp still at the top. But they do dry better upside down because the breeze blows them about more.

The heaviest seams on a t-shirt are at the shoulders and neck, so I hang peg them at the waist as the neck end can waft in the wind more and will dry more quickly than if it's statically stuck close to the line.

The same with any clothing really, so I peg trousers at the ankles so the heavier waist can waft more.

I always letmy washing get darked on.

I don't worry too much about spider willies.

Oh I didn't get any of that as I was a much better cook than her and she couldn't deny it! Clearly cake wasn't too sweet for her either, she just liked to try to assert control.

I wasn't a bad cook but MIL often seems to think she in some sort of competition with me - actually with any woman she met - so lots of put downs even if everyone else thought she was talking rubbish- with cooking washing cleaning. Often lots of helpful advice which was actually criticism and making things harder getting under foot in guise of being helpful.

I've found it better to avoid engaging - either by ignoring or taking wind out her sails and pointing out another family member did it and watching her back track.

I'm now, other than DD1, about only woman she doesn't pull this competitive power play with anymore because I slowly learnt not to respond to these type of games.

My neighbours pegs her washing all wrong too, and with mis-matched pegs. Oh the horror...

Exactly, it’s rude and obnoxious. I would never go into someone else’s home and presume to dictate to them how they ought to do things! And if I wouldn’t do it to anyone else then I’m not going to do it to my DIL.

Of course your MIL was U to unpeg your washing (who the hell would do that, I'd have given her a very hard stare).

I peg both tops and bottoms at the top because I think you're more likely to avoid peg marks. Plus if the heaviest part of the clothing (necklines of T-shirts, waistbands of trousers) is at the bottom I find it pulls the hemlines at the top out of shape. Me and DH also disagree on this and it pisses me off to a disproportionate degree! But I usually do the washing anyway so I win.

I hang from the armpit so the peg marks don't show.

I cannot imagine my MIL rehanging the washing or trying to trump me domestically in any way. She isn't domestic and can't cook. Also, when her son and I married the house we lived in was mine which diluted her influence.

She just found other chinks to pick at. Having had three dc in the back bedroom entirely naturally and breast fed them with ease, I got lots of digs about "not being able to perform" after a succession of late miscarriages and had my nose well and truly rubbed in it when SIL breast fed twins until they were 18 months.

As a MIL now, I am chosing to step very carefully with my DIL.

NRFT but I hang my T-shirts on hangers on the line.

The correct way to hang interfering MILs is by their ears!

You and your MIL make me long for the good old days when all I had to worry about was darking and spider poo.

OP is a grown woman who can hang her washing however TF she wants in her own garden. MiL needs to leave other people's washing alone.

I like to think I would call her out on it, but in real life it's hard to find the words in the moment. If you do say something, do it in a way that demands respect, adult to adult, don't slip into "child" mode, and make it about mutual respect not shoulder seams vs hems.

😂 wins the thread

Some people on here need to get lives if they have issues with how washing is hung up. If it works for OP it is the right way for her

😂😂 definitely

Although why not the MIL upside down?

@DullAndOvercast

Our situations sound quite similar. I grey rocked the shit out of my MIL and she got the idea that I wouldn't play in the end.

She was a terrible cook so chose not to engage the enemy on that subject. DH would definitely have told her straight.

I put T-Shirts (and shirts) on hangers and peg the hangers to the line.

Top by the bottom.

Bottoms by the top.

That's how I learnt and always hang it.

I'd have been itching to correct it too.

But I'd have more restraint than MIL in actually doing it

This! If I was your MIL I would struggle not to re-hang your washing so it was hung properly! 😂

My MIL is an angel but would probably do this and take the p* about what a shambles the washing was. I give her as good as I take though and would do anything for her.

My great gran styled her self on the queen and was so hygiene obsessed that she always left a small piece of toast that has touched her fingers. Evrrytime she visited my gran she would have a meal and then say "ill just have a wee look upstairs" and go and do a full inspection of the bedrooms and make sure they were clean and tidy.

gruffalosgrandma · Today 10:52
If you wear it on the top, hang it from the bottom.
if you wear it on the bottom, hang it from the top

This

And I would think you were a very sad person to even give it headspace @MissGroves. Does it really matter how washing is hung up? It obviously works for OP

Ah well that's a stupid way to do it of course. I'm of the upside down school but align both botton seams one over the other. No peg marks, and bc both sides are aligned the shoulders should dry into a proper shape.

That aside- totally batshit and seriously out if line to rehash somebody else's washing. Is she often overbearing like this?