"bring your whole self to work" and other wanky work phrases

[CrabbitBastard]

I really loathe that expression "bring your whole self to work". Its so wanky and also inaccurate - no one ever brings their whole self to work. We all want to keep our work and private lives separate don't we?

dont think my colleagues would appreciate me bringing my sweary, slobby, cheesy music loving side to work. What about those individuals who might be having relationship, infertility, health problems and not be comfortable sharing this with others? Therefore, they won't be bringing their 'whole selves' to work.
I also hate "we are like a family here" My real life dad wouldn't question why I needed time off work to see my doctor or anything like that!
Its great that companies are friendly or inclusive, but all those wank phrases really grind my teeth.
What other phrases do MNetters hate?

Very well said

Current favourites at work are "kicking the tyres" and "Lean in"...a new one crops up every so often (usually after one of our SLT has been on a conference / read a book) and spreads like wild fire🙄

Cannot bear the phrase Use your words - otherwise known as speaking

To encourage positivity - 'Be a radiator not a drain' 🤮

I think we can all see who's behind all that rainbow washing @ThanksAntsThants - it's not gay people IME. It's intellectually lazy, box ticking EDI types, spicy straights and "allies". Who needs enemies when you have friends like that?

Not to forget it's cousin, 'I have no words'. WTF was wrong with 'I'm speechless' ?

LOL, that was in answer to @peaceandove

Going forward. Can't believe it's still around.

Whatever does 'kicking the tyres' mean?

Oh come on, just believe and you can be Cher any day you like.

Ours is ‘reach out’, every time I see it I want to say that the only people who should be doing this are the Four Tops.

It’s like all the new names for the Personnel Dept, it’s not even HR now, it’s The People Team or (wait for it)…..Dream Makers (and I’m not talking about people working for Disney).

Dream Makers FFS who comes up with this bullshit?

I just Googled it and it appears to be an American thing (no surprise there I suppose).

When ever I hear about this sort of word-mangling shit I imagine there is a whole team of people based somewhere in the US, just churning it out, day after day until the new 'phrase' starts to be common parlance 😂

I'm pretty sure I have ADHD and it is not fucking useful to let it take the wheel at work.

An aside... I wish I'd known the "We're like a family here" line was a red flag when applying for schools. Yeah, if you mean one where some of the adults gaslight the kids like abusive parents, spot on. I digress.

I'm working on an accessibility and inclusivity project at work but this means people shouldn't have to share if they don't want to, and accessibility should be available for anyone, at any time, for any reason.

I have ADHD and I'm married to a woman. I don't care about bringing that to the forefront as anything important unless I'm being discriminated against because of these things. I'd prefer the most interesting thing about me at work be about my work.

When I read what you've quoted there I heard it in the voice of Princess Beatrice from The Windsors.

I like a bit of chit chat at work-frankly it is the only thing stopping me leaving at the moment. Absolutely hate ‘we are a family’ it means the work place puts up with toxic and questionable behaviours.

Can you bring your mischievous joker self to work so that whenever the boss or anyone says 'going forward' you say 'in reverse' and flash a cheeky grin? This sort of thing does take me back to school days and the urge to snigger.

"Push back" instead of "negotiate". And what's with all this "giving you the tools" to do something when what they mean is training you to do it?

I've only been in my current role 6 months and I'm constantly confused with all the 3 letter acronyms used. Why the need to shorten absolutely everything to 3 letters?! And not have a handy guide for the newbies?!

What is a 'spicy straight'??

My whole self is a lazy procrastinator who prefers scrolling Instagram than working. I wonder if they'd like me to bring her to work?

My whole self this morning was getting pissed off at listening to never ending bollocks from male colleagues in the 'team' meeting. boss forgot I was on the call and ended the 'team meeting' without allowing me an opportunity to speak. This is not the first time this had happened but today my whole self was in & he correctly sensed there was a problem. phoned to apologise but knows full well it had not been accepted & i currently consider him to be a total arse.

This is why my whole self rarely comes to work. Usually I suck it up & move on.

It's all corporate BS.

Two pet hates: blue sky thinking - and low hanging fruit.