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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think working class shows?

795 replies

MrsBonnie · 23/10/2022 21:00

I work in a lovely school where they’ve all had very different upbringings to me. Very much working class here. Sometimes I think it shows with little things I’ve noticed.

Having sugar in tea, using a tumble drier, not having a cleaner, using the wrong glasses for different drinks (I.E using the same one for everything!)… what else am I missing that excludes me from the club 😂 sometimes I will mention something like the above and get “oh I never use a tumble drier” … then I just think oops have I said something weird there?

Sometimes I think they’re judging me with things I say and do but I hope not! I grew up being homeless at a certain point, council houses, single teen (but amazing) mum, a very specific type of circle. I feel like Mum did everything she could to get us out of that way of life, but I can’t help but feel I don’t belong sometimes. Or that I stick out like a sore thumb. Am I being daft? Imposter syndrome a little bit!

OP posts:
TeaPleaseNoLemon · 23/10/2022 21:47

This reply has been deleted

Previously banned poster - This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Nottodaty · 23/10/2022 21:47

I was brought up on one of the most deprived council estates - i dont use a tumble dryer, nor my Mum or Nanna! My sister does but she has a tough job so has little time to fight with laundry and the house she lives in struggles with damp.
I also know the difference between glasses - don’t care use whatever is needed.

My husband comes from a small village in deprived area and had a scholarship at a very good (fancy) school. He always said there are far more tiny details.

But what actually matters is whether they are a decent person.

Original poster
MrsBonnie · 23/10/2022 21:48

@TeaPleaseNoLemon I need to go back and read my original post. I was referring to myself using the “wrong” glasses, not anyone else. Has that not come across?

OP posts:
Eatmycake3333 · 23/10/2022 21:49

Your post comes across as sneery and ridiculous. I’d love to hear you chat in the staff room. I bet they all love you lol 😂

BobbinThreadbare123 · 23/10/2022 21:50

I'm from basically the nastiest part of Liverpool and my accent tells you that. I know it's a tumble dryer though, not a drier. Snobbery I've had in droves, especially when they have to call me doctor 😄

TeaPleaseNoLemon · 23/10/2022 21:51

This reply has been deleted

Previously banned poster - This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Housenoob · 23/10/2022 21:51

I'm so confused about the tumble drier thing, can someone elaborate on the difference between how an MC person uses one vs a WC person?

Original poster
MrsBonnie · 23/10/2022 21:52

@Eatmycake3333 oops I’ve really not meant it like that I promise. 🙁 especially not sneering!

I was just trying to explain I felt like I was wearing this invisible badge saying “hello! I don’t belong here” based on what I say and do. But a few people have confirmed I’m overthinking which is probably right!!

OP posts:
TinySaltLick · 23/10/2022 21:53

emmaliz · 23/10/2022 21:12

I always wonder why people are so against sugar in hot drinks when many of them consume plenty of sugar in other forms

I consume olive oil, eggs and flour in other forms but I don't put those in my tea either

It's a taste thing for me really, it is a needless addition which makes the drink taste worse and covers up the flavour

Although I also quite like diet coke so I'm not very consistent in my biases

EverywhereIgo · 23/10/2022 21:53

MrsBonnie · 23/10/2022 21:00

I work in a lovely school where they’ve all had very different upbringings to me. Very much working class here. Sometimes I think it shows with little things I’ve noticed.

Having sugar in tea, using a tumble drier, not having a cleaner, using the wrong glasses for different drinks (I.E using the same one for everything!)… what else am I missing that excludes me from the club 😂 sometimes I will mention something like the above and get “oh I never use a tumble drier” … then I just think oops have I said something weird there?

Sometimes I think they’re judging me with things I say and do but I hope not! I grew up being homeless at a certain point, council houses, single teen (but amazing) mum, a very specific type of circle. I feel like Mum did everything she could to get us out of that way of life, but I can’t help but feel I don’t belong sometimes. Or that I stick out like a sore thumb. Am I being daft? Imposter syndrome a little bit!

When drawing your last breath, will you worry about these silly things? Live your best life and spend time with people who value you.

SirMoose · 23/10/2022 21:53

I’m very working class, and I’ve married into an upper middle class family. They’re lovely though and don’t look down on me. There are a lot of differences though!

YaWeeFurryBastard · 23/10/2022 21:56

IME the most pertinent class signifier are those who are bothered about what class they are vs those who are not. Nothing else really matters!

dontknowwhatisbest · 23/10/2022 22:00

The tumble dryer thing reminds me of a thread a little while back about things that are posh if posh people do them, but the complete opposite if poor people do them.

Middle class and no tumble dryer = large laundry room, expensive clothes that have to be carefully, concious about environmental impact

Working class and no tumble dryer = can't afford to buy one, can't afford to run one, haven't got space for one, landlord won't buy one

WonderingWanda · 23/10/2022 22:00

I'm a teacher, I have sugar and am from aworking class background but can probably pass as middle class now. I didn't really realise it was a class thing but people always look at me as if I've asked for heroin when I've asked for sugar. An old head teacher once did a double take and said 'you don't like like the sort of person who has sugar'.

dontknowwhatisbest · 23/10/2022 22:00

*dried carefully

forevercooking · 23/10/2022 22:03

I work in a lovely school where they’ve all had very different upbringings to me. Very much working class here. Sometimes I think it shows with little things I’ve noticed.

Having sugar in tea, using a tumble drier, not having a cleaner, using the wrong glasses for different drinks (I.E using the same one for everything!)… what else am I missing that excludes me from the club 😂 sometimes I will mention something like the above and get “oh I never use a tumble drier” … then I just think oops have I said something weird there?

Sometimes I think they’re judging me with things I say and do but I hope not! I grew up being homeless at a certain point, council houses, single teen (but amazing) mum, a very specific type of circle. I feel like Mum did everything she could to get us out of that way of life, but I can’t help but feel I don’t belong sometimes. Or that I stick out like a sore thumb. Am I being daft? Imposter syndrome a little bit!

My grandparents were working class. My mum was working class. My mum and Step-Dad are now middle class (he was bought up working class but is a boomer who was a yuppy etc so I would say has been middle class his while working life if that makes sense). I am very much still working class. I was bought up in a council house, and still live in one. I don't have sugar in my tea because it's an abomination. I have a tumble drier, I've certainly never had a cleaner but then again never have my parents even now. I know which glasses to use and will do if I have guests but generally don't when just me. I also know how to properly set a table and which cutlery to use etc.

That said I think sometimes people think working class = scuzzy. I've got a professional job but was a SAHM for a couple of years when DC's were small. Does that make me temp middle class because I certainly didn't feel so.

Hillrunning · 23/10/2022 22:03

MrsBonnie · 23/10/2022 21:52

@Eatmycake3333 oops I’ve really not meant it like that I promise. 🙁 especially not sneering!

I was just trying to explain I felt like I was wearing this invisible badge saying “hello! I don’t belong here” based on what I say and do. But a few people have confirmed I’m overthinking which is probably right!!

But why would you being a different class to many of your colleagues mean that you don't belong? There will be plenty of things you do have in common or you could just be friends with people who aren't exactly like you.

I am middle class working in a job where everyone else is working class (an fiercely proud of it) while it's evident that I do some things differently to them, it's never occurred to me that I don't belong. I say supper, they say tea but we still bond over what delicious food we are all having that evening.

Iwantmyoldnameback · 23/10/2022 22:04

I thought tumble dryers were more area specific than class, people in the south (with gardens obviously) stand much more chance of getting washing dry outside than those in the north. Still use the dryer though when needed.

CheezePleeze · 23/10/2022 22:06

Well this is a new spin on the usual 'Let's get MN arguing about class' threads 😴

Ballcactus · 23/10/2022 22:06

emmaliz · 23/10/2022 21:12

I always wonder why people are so against sugar in hot drinks when many of them consume plenty of sugar in other forms

Like wine 🍷

CarefreeMe · 23/10/2022 22:08

As someone who is very working/lower class (grew up in council estates in deprived areas, was a teenage mum myself, was homeless, single parent, was on benefits for a while etc etc) and a teacher I completely get what you are saying.

There are not many teachers like me and I do sometimes feel looked down on.

However, I would say tumble dryers are a middle class thing.
No one I know could afford or have room for a tumble dryer in their homes and we always say how you know someone’s posh because they can afford a tumble dryer.

Also a dishwasher.
Most lower/working class don’t have dish washers for the same reasons - cost and space.

Going into the staff room and having no idea how to put the dish washer on was very embarrassing and I definitely felt everyone was judging me for it.

Celebrityskint · 23/10/2022 22:08

I don’t have sugar in my tea. The reason being that growing up we didn’t have enough money to be buying sugar to put in tea!

HellomynameisInigoMontoya · 23/10/2022 22:12

Somebody's on the wind up. Biscuit

Aghxmas · 23/10/2022 22:12

Surely it depends whether you are nice? I’ve been sneered at by all sorts from all sorts of classes, it’s their problem, not mine.
the best comment was when I was fed up because I couldn’t find someone to install a kitchen. My very working class friend said, ‘ your problem is all your mates are middle class’ which was a, funny and b, spot on!

Abcdefgh1234 · 23/10/2022 22:13

I’m not english so i dont think i’m belong in classes system. But i’m very lucky and have very healthy income. Some people considering our family middle class. Have cleaners, private school, etc. but i dont have tumble dryer 🤣🤣 i just like hanging my clothes in the sun. Never like tumble dryer. I dont think tumble dryer its middle class thing.

also with you problem, middle class or working class or any class. I dont feel i’m belong in here aswell because i’m not english. But its not problem. Just happy being you. Because it doesnt matter.