Looked at escort website

[Shannon771]

Hi,
I really need some objective insight and feedback on this situation. I have a fiancé and we share
a home in England. Fiancé (age 54) came back home from visiting his grown son in Canada (where fiancé is from originally). As soon as he got back home I picked up his tablet to look something up and an escort website popped up!
It was for a higher end call girl service (in the town fiancé was visiting son, and also where fiancé visits every few months). I have never seen any of his web history prior to this and we have only been living together for one year when this happened. So I saw that he looked at 18 different profiles of escorts but I didn’t see where he had contacted anyone or anything like that. But he was clearly looking at many profiles! When I asked him about it he was mortified and he said that he had been clearing out his old emails while visiting his son and that some porn emails popped up and also the escort site just popped up and so he looked at it out of curiosity. He said it was a pop up and he only looked but I feel like looking at 18 pages of profiles is quite a bit. He said he had no idea that escorts would ever even be online which I find very hard to believe. This was only one year after living together that i discovered this!
i just don’t know what to think. He had a previous marriage of over 20 years. Any advice?

Personally had I been in your shoes (but then that's just me) I would have investigated more into the situation and called his son and ask about those cheating rumours. Stories always have two sides. Again, the excuses he gave you for looking into those escort websites were absolute rubbish. Then of course he HAS to act angry and kick the toys of the pram. It was expected.

Wake up. Ditch him and get an STD test

Agree he's throwing his toys out of the pram and deflecting.

This will not get better. You've made the right decision in ending things with him but please hold fast to your decision, don't let his tantrums sway you.

Go for a Focus. They are newer and should be more reliable.

High end Escorts are only for collectors really.

Cuteasaduck thank you and I won’t! My decision has been made.

Cheeseandcrackers. Maybe try harder to be witty

Sandra1984 I hear what you’re saying but his son already called him a cheater and I doubt that was made up. Why would he? Why do you think I should have called his son exactly?

Because all this time you've been his lover you've been spoon-fed a narrative by him were he never cheated on his ex wife, apparently the son has a different version of events. I'm one who likes to hear both sides of the story before making an informed decision (specially when it comes to something as important as marrying a guy). I'm sure the sons story is an interesting one, and if it gets back to his father so be it. If I'm going into business with a partner I want to know if he's been charged with fraud before.

Hi yes and I totally agree with you and understand what you’re saying. I already decided to end the relationship however. Not just because of the escort website situation but because of his behavior afterwards. I think if I was undecided I would reach out to the son, but I’m past that point because the respect is gone.

This

Sorry posted just after your update.
Sensible decision.

Thank you certainly not an easy one or one taken lightly but without trust there is no relationship who needs it it’s not like I have 20 years history with this man. Just creepy

I most certainly would not believe his story, i would also wreck my head by doing detective work, i would end the relationship unless of cousr you are happy to tolerate this behaviour

Not do detective work

I have got to say that you sound awesome, while he does sound like a bit of a dick. You could definately do better than him.
Onwards!

Cheeseandcrackers. Maybe try harder to be witty

Hello my name is Chris.

Horrible situation. Glad you've decided to bin him. Living like that, with something fishy in the air but no ability to grab its tail is so demoralising.

‘hello my name is Chris’……and I’ve come on Mumsnet to try and initiate conversations with lonely/single women that I can scam money from.

well done OP for respecting yourself enough to end the relationship and not let him guilt trip you with bullshit.

Thank you so much everyone for your thoughts and suggestions. I greatly appreciate each of you for helping me out. ✌️

Just one thing - no one has advised you tgat men like porn…. Escort websites are a form of this, scantily clad escorts offering services is a dimension that men can contemplate without actually visiting one. Porn stars are untouchable, but escorts a call away, it all adds to a 5 minute fantasy….

No idea what he actually did, but hope things work out for you.

Bard6817
yes a lot of men like porn I am aware of that. And I understand as well about the fantasy part although it’s still suspicious. This was in the town he was visiting while away from home. However he didn’t say that is why he looked. His story kept changing from it was a pop up, to I just couldn’t believe this would be online, to other excuses.

“I just couldn’t believe prostitutes could be online”

🤣😂🤣

Sandra1984 yes that was his immediate reason and he was so adamant about it. Too adamant and too exaggerated. So absurd!