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AIBU?

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Original poster

Shitty behaviour from a “friend”

37 replies

Muggedoff222 · 23/10/2022 16:10

I’m a qualified massage therapist. A girl that I trained with has her own business and asked me to help her, at relatively short notice with a couples massage.
The appointment was meant to be 60 minutes but actually ended up being closer to 90. I’ll admit that I didn’t check with her beforehand what I would be paid which I now realise I should of done!
At the end of the appointment she was paid £100. She gave me £20 and then said oh because it overran I’ll give you an extra tenner, she was paid in £20 notes so said would transfer it. I messaged her with my bank details and said I need money ASAP really and was met with a load of excuses about how she can’t access her online banking, her husband is also old fashioned and apparently has no online banking set up to transfer it from his account.
I feel like an absolute mug and pretty pissed off! I just assumed it would be a 60/40 split if not 50/50. I went out of my way to help her and she wouldn’t of been able to do massage at all without me there!
Am I bring unreasonable in being annoyed or is it my own fault?

OP posts:
CheezePleeze · 23/10/2022 16:13

YANBU for being annoyed but yes, you should definitely have checked how much she was going to pay you.

Penguinsaregreat · 23/10/2022 16:13

She has done a number on you. If she ever asks you to help her out again, ask her straight up how much you will be paid and tell her you want paying straight afterwards.

dontputitthere · 23/10/2022 16:17

You didn't ask how much you would be paid beforehand?

But aside from that yeah she's a dick.

Divebar2021 · 23/10/2022 16:20

You’ve gone about this the wrong way - It shouldn’t be about what she pays you it should be what you charge her.

Highfivemum · 23/10/2022 16:20

Appalling. No friend really

KettrickenSmiled · 23/10/2022 16:20

Am I bring unreasonable in being annoyed or is it my own fault?

It's not your fault that she's a selfish dick, no.
Lesson learned - it's business, always be upfront about terms.

I'd be tempted to write of this extra tenner (big deal) as the price of telling her to take a running jump & never contact you for favours again.

JabberwockyPie · 23/10/2022 16:23

I would tell her what she actually owes you, rather than her set the rate after the work is done.

GoldenGorilla · 23/10/2022 16:25

Presumably she found the clients (advertising costs), hired the space (rent), provided the massage tables, towels, oils (all more expenses)? So no I wouldn’t expect her to split 50-50 with you as you didn’t have those expenses? 70-30 sounds about fair to me. Do chase up the missing £10 though.

user1471457751 · 23/10/2022 16:28

I wouldn't expect 50/50 given she is the one incurring all the costs so actuay the 70/30 split she did sounds about right.

SuperCamp · 23/10/2022 16:28

It is your mistake that you didn’t give her your price upfront.

But that is no excuse for her to pay you such a pathetic fee. Her business model is shit if she supplies 2 masseurs for 90 mins at £100.

Did you give the clients your contact details? Or will any subsequent word of mouth business all go to her?

You need to toughen up. And meanwhile tell her you want the money.

MrsAlexander · 23/10/2022 16:31

I'm a massage therapist and I know how much it takes from you physically. I think your friend has got a nerve to expect for you to not to be given close to an even split! She certainly wouldn't have been able to do it on her own! Definitely no friend of mine. It's lesson learnt with checking how much you were to expect though but disgusting that even so she hadn't paid.

lannistunut · 23/10/2022 16:33

That is the last time you work for this person, they are no friend.

Heartsofstone · 23/10/2022 16:34

Lesson learnt. She sees you as business opportunity not a friend.

girlmom21 · 23/10/2022 16:35

Where was the appointment? Was it at her premises? Are you declaring your earnings? I'd say if she's paying for the premises and they're her customers she's done more work than you.

Original poster
Muggedoff222 · 23/10/2022 16:35

It was very last minute that I stepped up but I appreciate I should of still checked what I was being paid! I did use her oil but she is using a relatives salon so had already told me she wasn’t paying rent for the room as they let her use it for free, they just expect her to leave it clean & tidy. If she had transferred the extra tenner I probably wouldn’t be so pissed off but it’s the fact she is making all of these excuses and obviously expecting me to just say oh don’t worry about it when why should I! I went out of my way to help her 😠

OP posts:
girlfriend44 · 23/10/2022 16:41

Muggedoff222 · 23/10/2022 16:35

It was very last minute that I stepped up but I appreciate I should of still checked what I was being paid! I did use her oil but she is using a relatives salon so had already told me she wasn’t paying rent for the room as they let her use it for free, they just expect her to leave it clean & tidy. If she had transferred the extra tenner I probably wouldn’t be so pissed off but it’s the fact she is making all of these excuses and obviously expecting me to just say oh don’t worry about it when why should I! I went out of my way to help her 😠

How do you know the extra tenner isn't coming.

She might be telling the truth when she says she can't access the online bank.

Give it a day or two more then message or call and say your still waiting.

Charlize43 · 23/10/2022 16:50

She's not your friend.

This is one of those learning experiences we all go through. Get rid, so she doesn't exploit you again.

TwitchyJerk · 23/10/2022 16:53

How did it over run by 30 mins!?!?! That is crazy and your friend needs to improve boundaries with clients!

THisbackwithavengeance · 23/10/2022 16:57

Well you know what to say when she asks you for another favour or offers you a 'job'.

I'd tell her to stick her tenner as well.

CoraPirbright · 23/10/2022 17:09

What is your going rate for 90mins of massage? I would use that as a jumping off point:

Friend, I stepped in at the last minute as you were stuck. I know that you were given £100 cash in hand and had no overheads to consider. Bunging me £20 and then promising an extra tenner which you are now stalling on is frankly outrageous. My usual going rate for 90 mins is XX. I will expect XX in my bank account by tomorrow.

Your ‘friend’ is an absolute CF - no favours for her at all in the future.

DenholmElliot1 · 23/10/2022 17:12

She's not your friend. She's just a greedy user. There's loads of them about. Avoid them where possible.

billy1966 · 23/10/2022 17:23

CoraPirbright · 23/10/2022 17:09

What is your going rate for 90mins of massage? I would use that as a jumping off point:

Friend, I stepped in at the last minute as you were stuck. I know that you were given £100 cash in hand and had no overheads to consider. Bunging me £20 and then promising an extra tenner which you are now stalling on is frankly outrageous. My usual going rate for 90 mins is XX. I will expect XX in my bank account by tomorrow.

Your ‘friend’ is an absolute CF - no favours for her at all in the future.

This.

Has she paid tax on it? Hardly.

I would tell her you want it to go through the books.

skyeisthelimit · 23/10/2022 17:28

You should have told her what your charges were and then agreed the price with her before doing the work. It's not for her to tell you what she will pay you.

Isaidnoalready · 23/10/2022 17:44

I bet the 100 isn't all of it you usually put down a deposit and pay the balance on the day

ThereIbledit · 23/10/2022 17:51

Chalk it up to a learning experience that you should always in advance
clarify your rate and that you will REQUIRE paying on the day.