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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Shitty behaviour from a “friend”

37 replies

Muggedoff222 · 23/10/2022 16:10

I’m a qualified massage therapist. A girl that I trained with has her own business and asked me to help her, at relatively short notice with a couples massage.
The appointment was meant to be 60 minutes but actually ended up being closer to 90. I’ll admit that I didn’t check with her beforehand what I would be paid which I now realise I should of done!
At the end of the appointment she was paid £100. She gave me £20 and then said oh because it overran I’ll give you an extra tenner, she was paid in £20 notes so said would transfer it. I messaged her with my bank details and said I need money ASAP really and was met with a load of excuses about how she can’t access her online banking, her husband is also old fashioned and apparently has no online banking set up to transfer it from his account.
I feel like an absolute mug and pretty pissed off! I just assumed it would be a 60/40 split if not 50/50. I went out of my way to help her and she wouldn’t of been able to do massage at all without me there!
Am I bring unreasonable in being annoyed or is it my own fault?

OP posts:

ThereIbledit · 23/10/2022 17:52

And yeah, £30 for 90 minutes of massage is outrageous.

Mummyoflittledragon · 23/10/2022 18:03

YANBU to be annoyed. This is a learning experience for you. She is not a proper friend and took advantage of your good nature. She knows she underpaid you. Even if the original split would have been at most £60 to her £40 to you, she should have given you 50/50 as she ran over.

Myunclesmustache · 23/10/2022 18:20

This is a salutary lesson OP on not mixing business and friendship.

Next time, if there is a 'next time' get an agreement in writing - just something they've signed on one of your price lists would do - that way you have an enforceable contract.

Original poster

Muggedoff222 · 23/10/2022 18:24

girlfriend44 · 23/10/2022 16:41

How do you know the extra tenner isn't coming.

She might be telling the truth when she says she can't access the online bank.

Give it a day or two more then message or call and say your still waiting.

Show quote history

I’d share the messages on here if I didn’t think it would completely out her! But basically it’s just her completely fobbing me off! She apparently can’t find the details she needs for online banking and her husband is old fashioned and doesn’t use online banking 🤨 she also isn’t sure if her bank is open Mon to get cash from!!!

OP posts:

Hugsssssss · 23/10/2022 18:24

GoldenGorilla · 23/10/2022 16:25

Presumably she found the clients (advertising costs), hired the space (rent), provided the massage tables, towels, oils (all more expenses)? So no I wouldn’t expect her to split 50-50 with you as you didn’t have those expenses? 70-30 sounds about fair to me. Do chase up the missing £10 though.

But she wouldn’t have been able to do the massage at all without the friend’s help and it was short notice so with that in mind 50/50 would be fair

surreygirl1987 · 23/10/2022 18:31

I voted YABU but purely because I can't believe you didn't check how much you'd be paid. However, I'm pretty aghast at your friend!

pewtypie · 23/10/2022 18:32

Please never help the cunt again.

LimeTwists · 23/10/2022 19:44

I really would be absolutely blunt about asking for half here. This is an absolute piss take. Tell her you’d thought it went without saying (because it does!) that given you both performed the work equally you’d expected to split the payment, otherwise you certainly wouldn’t have given up 90 minutes of your time for a measly £30 that you are now having to beg for!!! The CF.

Original poster

Muggedoff222 · 23/10/2022 22:01

Update, I sent a message explaining that I was disappointed for reasons I explained here! That I understand it is her business and clients but that I helped her out at short notice and that £20 for 90 minutes feels like a piss take, especially as I feel like she has no intention of transferring £10. Got a really patronising message back saying that she suggest I watch some YouTube videos of what it takes to run a business, she was very generous in what she paid me considering overheads etc (I know full well she doesn’t pay for use of room!!) and it’s a shame I’m kicking off as she thought I did “quite a good job” as well. Then a message on group chat slagging me off and saying I was 30 minutes late!!! I wasn’t. The appointment was at 3.00pm and I arrived half an hour early, way before clients even turned up! Anyway lesson learnt! I’ve blocked her on everything now, just still cannot believe the cheek of it!!!

OP posts:

billy1966 · 23/10/2022 23:14

Take snaps of those conversations which confirm her tax dodging business.

The owners of that premises would likely be very upset at her bring drama to their door by pissing staff off while running a tax dodging business at the weekend.

knockyknees · 23/10/2022 23:20

I hope you've replied on the group chat with the truth exposing her lies, and that she had the room for free, hasn't paid you the extra 10 etc.

StoppinBy · 23/10/2022 23:36

As PP said, I would politely let everyone know what actually happened if she has been saying things publicly.

Consider it a positive, lesson learned rather cheaply to always confirm details prior to a job and then forget about her.

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