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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell this woman what her ex boss has been saying about her?

59 replies

LemonTreeSkies · 21/10/2022 18:08

I am a client of a company. Yesterday the company owner called me to say this woman, who was my preferred person to deal with, is no longer working for them but they will replace her and still offer their usual, wonderful service blah, blah…
He said she left because she found the job too much with having young children as well. This us where I feel he should have left the conversation.
However, when I said I understood her decision but I was sorry because I liked her, liked dealing with her and appreciated the service I received from her, he went on a bit if a rant. He said what he was offering was not a job, but a career. He said she handed her notice in on a Friday of a holiday weekend and that he considered that unprofessional.
He made a few other quips and went on to say that she told another staff member that she just wanted to work from home in her pyjamas. He made his disgust at that quite clear.
I feel that the unprofessional one here is HIM and it made me quite uncomfortable to listen to him badmouth her.
A few years ago this woman’s predecessor “left”. Again, someone else I liked dealing with. He told me the ins and outs of this person’s departure, that he lied to the company owner, and what about etc. As a client I don’t need to know this (it didn’t affect me negatively in any way) and I don’t like the lack of boundaries this company owner seems to have.

Would IBU to contact this woman and tell her what he’s said about her? On one hand I like to live a quiet, peaceful life and don’t want any comeback or drama, but on the other hand I think he’s way out of order and extremely unprofessional (and unpleasant).

OP posts:
ICanHideButICantRun · 21/10/2022 18:11

Oh stay out of it. He was having a moan - why would you tell her about it?

XenoBitch · 21/10/2022 18:12

What would you achieve from telling her what he said? I would leave it.

Keyansier · 21/10/2022 18:14

You sound like a busybody and wanting to stir up drama for no reason.

ClocksGoingBackwards · 21/10/2022 18:15

Can’t you just stop being his client and find someone else to provide the service. Maybe the woman you liked is doing the same thing at a better company you could use.

PAFMO · 21/10/2022 18:15

Keep your snout out.

Leakygutter · 21/10/2022 18:16

What would she do with that information?

What would it achieve other than her distress? Although no doubt she's already well aware what he's like.

If you really want to "do" something it would be take your business elsewhere.

lentilly · 21/10/2022 18:16

Don't tell her ffs. But I'd feedback you don't want to work for this Client if you can.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 21/10/2022 18:17

I don’t think you should tell her, I don’t see what good it might do.

What you should do is move your business elsewhere.

Cherryana · 21/10/2022 18:17

You would cause her upset for no reason - she can’t do anything about it.

If you really liked this lady you would just drop it and move on with your day.

Whataretheodds · 21/10/2022 18:18

Not sure what would be achieved by telling her but you could tell him that you don't like his unprofessionalism badmouthing ex-employees.

LemonTreeSkies · 21/10/2022 18:19

Because they have lots of clients, lots of people were assigned to this woman and I’d be amazed if I was the only person he’s said this to, especially as he’s divulged info he never should have (IMO) about her predecessor.

I have absolutely no interest in stirring the pot, nor being in the middle of drama, but shit sticks and I would hate to see her reputation ruined or her chances of getting another job squashed because of him having a bitch.

OP posts:
LemonTreeSkies · 21/10/2022 18:20

lentilly · 21/10/2022 18:16

Don't tell her ffs. But I'd feedback you don't want to work for this Client if you can.

I AM the client.

OP posts:
Keyansier · 21/10/2022 18:21

LemonTreeSkies · 21/10/2022 18:19

Because they have lots of clients, lots of people were assigned to this woman and I’d be amazed if I was the only person he’s said this to, especially as he’s divulged info he never should have (IMO) about her predecessor.

I have absolutely no interest in stirring the pot, nor being in the middle of drama, but shit sticks and I would hate to see her reputation ruined or her chances of getting another job squashed because of him having a bitch.

Do you think you're some sort of superior intellect and that if he has mentioned it to other people then they wouldn't be able to come to the same conclusion about him as you have?

Still, it sounds like you really want to do this. It's your drama, you act in it. You don't need permission to gossip.

VisitingThem · 21/10/2022 18:25

I wouldn't say anything to her but I would look to replace the company as he sounds very unprofessional.

dawnfromgavinandstacey · 21/10/2022 18:25

What letter does the company begin with

LemonTreeSkies · 21/10/2022 18:25

Keyansier · 21/10/2022 18:21

Do you think you're some sort of superior intellect and that if he has mentioned it to other people then they wouldn't be able to come to the same conclusion about him as you have?

Still, it sounds like you really want to do this. It's your drama, you act in it. You don't need permission to gossip.

I’m not interested in what other people think of him, that’s up to them and no concern of mine.
What I am concerned with is him slagging her off to all and sundry and potentially affecting her future negatively.
His company is very successful and he’s well known. I imagine he’s set up for life but his ex-employee probably isn’t.
Maybe I’m looking in the wrong direction and should talk to him instead about how distasteful and unprofessional I find his comments about ex staff to be.

OP posts:
LemonTreeSkies · 21/10/2022 18:26

dawnfromgavinandstacey · 21/10/2022 18:25

What letter does the company begin with

D but it’s not in the UK.

OP posts:
dawnfromgavinandstacey · 21/10/2022 18:27

Thank god I thought it was me Blush

dawnfromgavinandstacey · 21/10/2022 18:27

Pyjama women not the boss I mean

LemonTreeSkies · 21/10/2022 18:29

dawnfromgavinandstacey · 21/10/2022 18:27

Pyjama women not the boss I mean

😂😂 I can’t blame anyone for wanting to do that.

OP posts:
BattenburgDonkey · 21/10/2022 18:29

Yes YWBU, but if you don’t like the guy then why not take your business elsewhere? I can’t see how you’d be helping her reputation, you haven’t called the guy out on it, you’d just be stirring the pot.

Nonotmenori · 21/10/2022 18:29

Yes you should tell her. I can't pm you as I'm on my phone, but I have reasons why I say this and can't write them here. If I figure it out I'll message you

girlmom21 · 21/10/2022 18:30

You don't need to tell anyone anything but you know that man's incredibly unprofessional and I'd look for someone else to work with.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 21/10/2022 18:31

I dont think it will achieve anything. What might achieve something is finding another company to use their services and telling the boss why, it might make him think twice if he has lost a client

beonmywaythen · 21/10/2022 18:33

I don't think he's said anything that will affect her professional reputation. Wanting to work from home? Handing in her notice before a holiday? Shock horror!

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