My family just aren’t bothered about me are they?

[SirMoose]

I’ve always made lots of effort to keep in contact with my family. I’ve never really felt like I belong, but I thought I should make an effort. I would facetime my dad weekly to chat and for him to chat to my kids, message grandparents and aunties and uncles maybe once every couple of weeks to check in. Arrange catch ups, invite people round for dinner every so often etc. my husband made a comment a while ago that they only really seem interested in talking to the kids, not me and he wondered if they would bother with me at all if I stopped making the effort. My eldest had her own phone now and she gets lots of FaceTimes and messages off everyone to see how she is and to chat. I stopped to see if anyone would bother with me. It’s been 6 months now and not one person has messaged or called me. I haven’t spoken to my own dad for 6 months. No one acknowledged my birthday, no one told me my gran was in hospital.

I just feel so empty. I don’t know why I’m so different to them all, my family all are really close and I’ve always just been on the outskirts. I guess now it’s confirmed they’re only really interested in my children.

6 months is a long time isn’t it? Am I being unreasonable or am I just being a bit pathetic? I know i have my own little family now but my heart just hurts that I’ve never really been wanted by my own family. No real point to this I guess just feeling sad tonight.

My family were similar. Happy enough when I was doing the messaging, phoning, driving to visit them. My partner pointed out one day that it was all one way traffic and it wasn't on - I think this is probably what yours meant too. I've stopped doing as much and never hear from them these days. Have to say I'm not missing what wasn't there in the first place.

Yes, this. People are always doing this on here (stopping contact to see if anyone contacts them, because they've always been the contacter), as if it's some kind of ultimate ta-daah! moment demonstrating that no one cares, while completely failing to take into account that if you're usually the person who does all the contacting, that's the role both parties have adopted, often for long periods, and that doesn't change overnight.

WHY were so you keen to keep up regular contact with your dad, OP, if, as you say, he hasn't been a very good father? And likewise, why did you invite your extended family round, and talk to them regularly? I would have assumed it was because you enjoyed it, but was it some kind of 'duty' you now feel aggrieved isn't being taken up by others?

@Amantissima the OP hasn't been back to this thread since October last year.