To think this decision about how to give birth is impossible

[AliceAbsolum]

7 years trying, 5 rounds of IVF, previous loss. Consultant wants to induce at 39 weeks due to ivf. Or I can elect for a c section. I've been incredibly anxious through this whole pregnancy and I have no idea how to make this decision. Every time I read about it I just go back and forth. There are pros and cons on each side. It's impossible!

I'd like a straightforward natural birth but that looks unlikely to happen. How can you decide about something where you have no idea what will happen? I don't have any gut feelings or strong preferences either way. I don't want major surgery but I also don't want 3 days of pain and panic followed by surgery....

Maybe I'll just ask the consultant whats safest for the baby and go with that.

How did other people decide?

Section.. every.. time.

I was in similar circs for a different reason. I settled on "Start induction, check Bishop's score, check Bishop's score after 24h, if no progress then section". I had a section.

I was in a similar situation (multiple miscarriages, multiple attempts at IVF, age 42)

On the advice of my OBGYN - planned c section at 39 weeks.

He said it was safest for me and safest for the baby. I’d do exactly the same again.

I asked my consultant this. it’s no different to any pregnancy. Induction/ early section is offered because parents of IVF babies tend to be more anxious apparently

I’ve had two planned sections on medical advice so I can’t comment on induction. Mine were born at around 38 weeks (also both from IVF cycles)

Both times were great, calm, no drama. Up and walking around pretty soon after. Scar is under the panty line but it’s only a small line.

Although the sections were obviously not forced, knowing it was the preference in light of my other health concerns made them much easier to agree to. I felt the medical team were split in those focused on me and those on the baby (when out!)

Good luck with your decision, I don’t regret mine at all

Why the induction on the grounds of IVF? Is that evidence based?

If I were you I'd take a planned c section. For disclosure I've had 9 children 1st was emcs, followed by 7 vaginal deliveries and then a c section.

I don't want major surgery but I also don't want 3 days of pain and panic followed by surgery

Hiya. Two pregnancies, both C-section, and I'd have another tomorrow without a second thought. Latter pregnancy was a twin pregnancy, and I was out and home within 48hrs.

It doesn't feel like major surgery at all. It's such a small cut you honestly can't believe a baby has fitted through.

You have the c-section, you come back to a ward, the next day they'll take your catheter out and encourage you to waddle off for a shower. And you will do what everyone who has a c-section does...take ages to stand up, as you're convinced you've been cut open from hip to hip, then gingerly shuffle at snail speed, whilst hunched over akin to something from Notre Dam. After a few minutes, you'll will realise if you stand up, that in fact, you won't tear in half

After that, which basically is more of your head fearing the worst, you basically just demi-shuffle about for another 24hrs. Then you go home!

The first one I had, the scar healed to invisible, and actually I just looked at this one, and whilst you can feel a slight difference in texture for maybe 2cm at one side, this seems to have disappeared as well.

I will encourage my daughter to have c-sections, should the choice ever befall her. That's a good recommendation indeed.

I had a scheduled c section for my first which was fantastic. The recovery is definitely manageable if you have help at home and no other kids. I'd opt for that every time in terms of avoiding birth trauma and injury.

My route to motherhood was similar to yours @AliceAbsolum - many years of heartbreak and hoping - and after all that I would go for the safest, easiest option; frankly after everything you've been through you won't care if the baby is delivered by Royal Mail, just so long as it gets here.

We all have our dreams of the perfect birth (whatever that means to each of us), but ask your consultant what's the quickest, easiest option to have your little one safely in your arms, and go with that.

I well remember the blizzard of happiness and relief when I finally held just-born DS in my arms, it was magic...and I'm smiling imagining you being just the same.

It's a tough one. I would be asking why the induction is deemed necessary. If you aren't otherwise high risk then I would want to go ahead without intervention. That being said if their concern is due to the likelihood of placenta failing then I'd go for the induction.

I've had an induction which failed at 36 weeks, I was on it for 10 days before having an emergency section. My placenta was failing and I was very lucky that dd1 lived. Induction has a greater chance of success the further along you are in pregnancy. I've also had 2 emergency sections and 1 elective ( didn't go into labour by 40 weeks, consultant wouldn't let me go over). I didn't find a difference in recovery with planned vs emergency, end result was the same.

Arm yourself with the facts and make the most informed decision you can. x

Why the induction at 39 weeks? Why not wait until 40 weeks and see what happens.

If there are no medical reasons for the c section then I'd go natural birth. IVF and infertility don't mean you'll not be able to give birth naturally.

I'd suggest waiting until 40 weeks and go for natural birth if labour happens (I had my first at 38+6 so it can happen) and then see what position baby is in.

If baby isn't fully engaged then I'd go for a c section.

Fully sympathize with it being a difficult decision. I have the same dilemma though different circumstances... First birth was induced on the drip (which I didn't want at all but no choice after waters broke and infection risk) which ended in forceps and episiotomy. Recovery from forceps took me at least 6 weeks so same as c section would have been. I'd love a shot at a natural water birth this time but also terrified I'll end up induced again, so considering whether to ask for an elective and just eliminate the fear. If induction or section are your only two options, I'd pick section based on my induction experience. But I'm aware it's not an easy choice as sections are not without their risks and downsides too!

I would never go for induction as chance of needing and emergency c section or forceps is high. May as well book in for planned c section so its calm. Also meana you aren't exhausted when baby arrives

OP - I said the same when the midwife suggested I do a birth plan. I didn’t do one as I didn’t think I could plan for something I had no experience of and felt it was largely dictated by circumstance.

i would have a planned c section in your shoes.

I'd have the section as you are clearly anxious and worried about it. A section will mean you are much more in control and can relax going up to the day knowing you will meet your baby. Also there is obviously a risk of induction leading to a section anyway which would probably be much less relaxed and harder to recover from if you have already laboured.

I had a section with my first. It's tough recovery but I was waking to the pub pushing the pram a week later. Not everyone is the same but it doesn't need to be hellish. Also it can make you sit still and recover properly (unlike my second where I stupidly decided after my vaginal I was off to brunch 24 hours later and promptly fainted)

I would (and did!) go for an elcs with my ivf DTs. It was absolutely the right choice for us, and whilst I was crushed at the time that I couldn’t have a vaginal birth and do something “natural” for them I know it was just good old depression talking. 4 years on now, I can’t understand why we hold a no pain relief vaginal birth that’s agonising for hours and hours up as the best way to give birth!

Personally I’d have a section without a doubt.

if I had strong feelings about wanting to try and birth vaginally, I’d only begin induction if I had a favourable cervix and have a very low threshold for a section of progress was slow or baby wasn’t happy.

good luck with whatever you decide

Personally I'd go the induction route, I was induced with my first, and was a lovely experience, I got the closest to a natural birth I could, and from start to finish, it took 16 hours. Both people I know that have had C-sections have had awful problems afterwards with infections and pain.
It's really not a decision anyone else can make for you.

This is my exact experience. I’d go for the planned section, mine was very relaxed and easy.

I will never recommend induction to anyone. Everyone I know ends up with emergency c-sections. You are pumped full of artificial drugs, you can’t move or eat, Contractions come on harder and faster and unnatural and it’s a disaster waiting to happen.

I've had two very different inductions, for different reasons and at different gestations (36 weeks and 42 weeks). In your shoes, I'd have a planned section! Honestly, giving birth is such a tiny tiny part of parenthood, it's just not worth any extra hassle.

In your case, I would go for c section.

When you don't know what to do, do what's safest for the baby. Far too many people get caught up in what they want, creating birth plans and stipulations and rules and honestly just do what's best for the baby. The best thing for baby is the best thing for you because nothing is worse than the feeling of putting a tiny newborn in a dangerous situation because the parent was so adamant about what they wanted. I think asking your consultant what's best is the smartest OP, and if you've trusted them so far then there's no reason to not trust them now.

Planned section. I wouldn’t think twice.