It's not going out

[Pleaseaddcaffine]

This is being out isn't it? 40 years old.
Out of home at least 5 days a week either after work for a game of pool or two and/or two pints or around 9pm for pool/cards in the pub till 11pm ish.
Pointed out I rarely get to go out as got the kids... Got told it isn't going out as its only for a little while. Grrrr

100% is going out

That is definitely going out! But not out out 😂 Seriously, I’d love to do that, just once a week! But 5 times 🙄 He’s having a laugh!

What I said, it's out! I'd can't even find time to for a swim or walk

Of course it is

He's doing something socially for himself after work. Even if it's for an hour. He isn't doing work or participating in family life so it's going out!

Of course he has gone out out.

That is very much out. If it's not out, he won't mind staying in and actually parenting!

It was starting to feel a bit gaslight ly and like I was going mad..... Its out! Lol

Would there be much parenting to do between 9pm-11pm?

Yeah it's out, not out out like a night on the town but still out.

Well he could be there for the kids so that OP could get out!

Perhaps you need to book time out and when he complains you can say its not going out too.

Not being out but the money, can't complain got no cash. Also complains never go out and are tierd! . 2 pints x 5 nights adds up really quickly

Is he at home? No he's not, he's out.

Just sounds like he’s letting off steam after a hard day at work. Like someone has said there is not much parenting between 9-11. Do you work? You should carve out some time for yourself somewhere if you want to go out..

Yes it is
He's having his "me time"
Where is yours?

Of course you can. You say to him “on Tuesday I’ll be going for a swim after work, can you be home at 5 to do dinner and bed?”

Quite. Or just go out for a walk soon as he gets back from his games of pool.

I mean, whatever he wants to call it, it's what, at least 10 hrs a week (at times of his choosing presumably) when he is free to do something for himself. So, you need to have the same free time. So maybe 5 hrs each per week. That's only fair.

100% counts as being out.
He should reduce it to 2 (or max 3) times per week - giving you the equal amount of time to go for walk, to gym, visit friend or (and this will blow his mind) for you to go to pub and play pool!

please stand up for yourself, and don’t be gaslit
good luck

Well it's not in is it? Can you add up the time and then go out on the weekend for the same amount of time?

It’s out, but not out out. It depends if you were intending to be out in the first place, or just out.

He of course can go out and I work full time and I study.
It still is strange to me if your worried about money and tierd then don't go out, but apparnetly it isn't out really as only for few hours.
Just making sure I'm not mad and it's unusual behaviour

He goes out out ie till 2am as well sometimes maybe once a week or fortnight

If you're worried about money, don't spend money on stuff that isn't essential.

What does he say if you phrase it like that? It's not money money?

Well if it's not going out, he might as well not go out at home, eh?