To think fairy tale promote a dangerous narrative.

[Mollymoostoo]

My DD (aged 10) has been reading the book series 'The school for good and evil' qnd this has prompted discussions about how dangerous fairy tales are in perpetuating stereotypes and outdated attitudes. For example....
Prince Charming kissed Snow White whilst she was asleep (consent issues)
Red Riding hood naively trusted a stranger in the woods and had to be rescued by a father figure.
Belle put up with the beasts behaviour even though he was aggressive, falling in love with her captor.
Beauty is seen as good, ugliness evil.

AIBU or is it time to rewite the narrative with balanced perspectives. I am not saying go to the extreme of getting rid of heros, but we need to stop putting pressure on boys to be rescuers and girls to be passive in their own stories.

I think it's an unusual child who puts any kind of interpretation on a fairy tale. The idea that a prince kisses Sleeping Beauty without her giving consent is an adult, modern concept, not the way a child would react. They either like the story or they don't. Some find them frightening, which many fairy tales are.

Are these fairytales or Disney, though?

The original versions are actually so very dark ... I've never had a problem with them, because kids now will bring this up themselves. They are savvy! My 13yo daughter will be "why is he kissing her without consent? That's not ok!" with no prompting, she's actually much better at spotting when something is problematic than I am!

At 10, if she's enjoying SGE (my 13 and 11yos are OBSESSED and I've loved the first 3 and about to start the fourth), she'll soon be able to move onto the new versions of fairytales that turn these narratives around. The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer is another.

Problem is these tales are still embedded into films

I can’t think of one talking wolf or actual fairy in real life.

Fairy tales aren’t true life biographies . I don’t think I understand what point you’re trying to make unless you’re responding to someone else’s post that I’ve missed?

You know, weirdly, it's absolutely not. You listen to a class of five-year-olds being read stories and they will totally come out with stuff like 'why did he kiss her when she was asleep, that is rude!' or whatever. Of course they won't use words like consent, but they're quite able to recognise that what's being depicted isn't what we'd consider ok today. I have read Cinderella to children before who were very sure it was extremely rude to call the sisters 'ugly' - children hear these sort of platitudes from school and nursery all the time, and they're not slow to apply them to stories.

I guess Disney is one of the main ways kids in the west engage in fairytales. The Disney narratives even shale non -disney retellings of them. At least res riding hood and princess and the frog (the old one with the golden ball she drops in the well) are like this. I'm not sure what the original sleeping beauty is like and I think original little mermaid is brutal - but kids don't get much of those versions nowdays.

On what some others have said , I love Angela carter - but perhaps not for a 10 year old (?)

Exactly because Little Mermaid is not particularly geeat example of how it works out if you go against ehole family for a pretty lad....
Snow White wasn't saved by a kiss while unconscious.
And so on

I have that Gender swapped fairytales book. It's a bit silly but has made the kids think about the issue at least.

Jesus Christ, I’m glad I don’t live in your house love..

People are all different, though. I love a good MN thread discussing what we hated about Friends or whether Spike from Buffy is a good character or not - this is the same kind of thing, no?

Agree with @SarahAndQuack on this... plus, me and 3 year old often get into good ol debates about which book / character is the best... (no DS, it is not the inane train one we have just read 6 times in a row!!). It's the same thing, but with more words!

There were loads of books in the 80s redressing the balance but people seem to like the old ones. I think you just have to talk to the children about the stories even things like 'Should Goldilocks have walked into someone's house and eaten their breakfast?'.

www.goodreads.com/book/show/3920964-the-practical-princess
This one is actually from the 60s although I had it in the 80s (as a teacher).

Clever Gretchen and other Forgotten Folk tales by Alison Lurie is another good one where the female characters take the lead in the action.

There are loads of other alternative tales.

Some distinguished writers and readers are ahead of you OP. I love fairytales as do the writers Angela Carter, Marina Warner, Emma Donoghue and A.S. Byatt to name just a handful who have reinterpreted them from a feminist and funny perspective while keeping the danger and goriness.

Those are for teens and adults but there are lots of children's retellings too.

I am sure these same children, if they are as ready as you say to put adult perceptions on a fairy tale, would have the intelligence to recognize them for what they are - just stories, not an opportunity to start analysing them for infringements of today's woke ideas.

Don’t like to LOL but the Handmaids Tale is exactly that. The author deliberately used real life events to form the basis of her story telling. She didn’t just reference theocracies but also act perpetrated by other ideological dictators.
The book is a warning about what happened in the past and what is happening now. She had seen the influence and power of fundamentalists in Afghanistan in the 70’s (and foreseen their rise to power post invasion) and then Iranian revolution. She didn’t think there was much difference between them and religious right in the US.

I think you misread me - I said they wouldn't put adult perceptions on them, not that they would.

I can’t think of one talking wolf or actual fairy in real life.

They aren’t real.

The original tales are often based on real life events too. Just with additions.
A child disappeared - Hansel and Gretel or Red riding hood
Stepparents issues are most likely about inheritances and none of the bad ones ended up well
You could go on. Stories are inspired by real life then changed up for the story.

Like we have urban legends nowadays woth exploding cans, formaldehyde soaked wedding dress etc. Something inspired it and some things were added for the whoa effect

My mother got out an old fairytale book of mine from the 80s, with a view to passing it on to my daughter. I looked through it, and gave it back! Nice pictures, but the messages are just not what I want to teach my children.

I agree. Me and my DH watched married at first sight and the amount of people talking about finding 'the one's shocking. People want a happy ever after and think that hard work means people are incompatible.

I got hold of an old Enid Blyton book and was shocked at some of the underlying messages.

Don't ever eat the free food or you'll be turned into a pig, swan or have to spend winter in the underworld etc.

That's the thing. Some commenter are stating that fairy tales have moral lessons or are for the time period they were written. This doesn't make them any less dangerous if we brush them off as harmless.

I think calling it dangerous is dangerous and fodder for the love to be offended brigade. Call it outdated, explain why times have changed, enjoy it for the fictional story it is.