If you don’t go to a wedding (were invited, but tou don’t want to go) do you still have to get them a present?

[YouAreNotBatman]

Few coming up soon, friend and a cousin.
Do I have to buy them something?

I’ve no idea what actual correct etiquette is, but I only ever send a card if I can’t attend - unless I know the bride or groom well and would want to give them a gift regardless. Are you particularly close to your cousin or is this a very good friend? Otherwise, I very much doubt they’ll expect anything from non-attendees.

No.

Don't know "the rules". But I would send a card and a small cash gift probably in most cases, and a larger gift it it was for someone I really loved and would have wanted to be at the wedding but was unavoidably not able to attend.

No.

I would.

Depends if you want to really. For a close friend or cousin I'd send a card with £30-£50 cash in. For an acquaintance or one of those friends who you only know through other friends I'd just send a card.

Nothing wrong with just sending a card though is money is tight. Definitely at least a card though

For a friend or relative who attended our wedding and gave a gift to us, I would send a gift back with a card, probably about 30. If someone I'm not that close with and who didn't attend mine, I wouldn't

We sent a card plus bottle, from an online card company.

I would get a token gift (e.g. £20 John Lewis gift card, bottle of fizz) but wouldn't get an expensive gift that covered the cost of my plate as I would if I were attending

You don't have to but I would.
But then I wouldn't decline an invitation to my friends wedding because I just don't want to go.

Depends why you don't want to go!

Would be too difficult sorting childcare/travel - I would send a gift
Don't like weddings - I would send a gift
Don't like them/they are not nice to you - just a card

Totally depends.

Someone you're not particularly close to, don't really want to go to the wedding and wouldn't, for example, go out to dinner with them - no - send a card at the most

Someone you're closer to, would go out to dinner with but you can't go to the wedding for practical reasons (i.e. you're on a pre-booked holiday), then maybe

No, but you should send a card.

It's completely up to you. You don't have to do anything.

Are you particularly close to your cousin or is this a very good friend?

Cousin and I are no longer close, no drama, just grew up and moved away and lost contact.
Friend is somewhere in the middle, good friend, but not like close to the heart friend, if that makes sense.

I suspect the 'correct' thing is to send a gift. This is based on my mother's expectation that I would contribute to her gift for my third cousin who had a wedding between Christmas and New Year at the opposite end of the country and invited DH and me but not our DC so it was impossible for us to attend. I send a nice letter, our invite was a bit of a 'duty' invite and they would have known we couldn't attend so I felt no obligation to spend loads of money.

No, but I don't give presents even I do go. A nice card does, weddings cost enough to attend.

If it's someone you like, why wouldn't you WANT to give them a present? It's something we do through affection, not simply as a transactional thing.

I’d send £20 to both cases.

You don't have to, but I usually do. Just a smallish thing off their list or small amount of money if they've asked for money

god no!

I do. I sent a voucher and a card for an abroad wedding we couldn't make.

I have no idea what Debretts would say on this.

I would send a card and give a gift to a family member or close friend. If it were a colleague / distant family member a card would suffice.

I would send a card and nominal gift eg £25 John Lewis voucher

I wouldn't send either if I wasn't attending.