Holiday in 4 months and I'm not happy...am I being ungrateful ?

[cassaoppo]

My boyfriend has surprised me with a weeks holiday in 4 weeks.
He's booked us to go to Gran Canaria but I'm just not excited at all
My summer feeling has gone and I'm ready for Halloween /Christmas
I just can't be excited for a holiday 6 weeks before Xmas when it's normally freezing and I'm in jumpers.
Think the weather will be around 26/27 degrees and that's hot for me.
The hassle of having to sort through the summer bits again
I just can't be bothered tbh
Am I ungrateful?

You are not being U, I get what you are saying , you are so over summer and you are enjoying the autumn.
I am sure once you are there you’ll enjoy yourself. Try not to overthink your clothes, put aside a couple of hours to come up with some holiday outfits, throw in a denim jacket or cardigan and you’ll be fine.
Buy yourself a good book to take.

So are you going to bother to explain how this came about?

We both have 10 days off work
My birthday is Xmas day and we never do anything as it's a bad time of year ...so he booked this

What a thoughtful arsehole! LTB!

🙄

That holiday would be my dream in November! But I absolutely hate surprises because I don’t want to be pulled along with someone else’s choice as a done deal, I want to decide for myself what to do with my time and I’d want the choice of holiday destination to be a joint one. So although it sounds lovely (to me!) and he obviously means well, I understand how you feel.
I think people are missing that you don’t actually want to go to that destination, it’s not that you don’t want any holiday. I’d love a November holiday but wouldn’t trust DH to choose it. His “surprise” would probably be a drab caravan on a cold wet English coast.

God what a massive inconvenience to have to pack a week of summer clothes.
You sound like very hard work, I would be so annoyed if I booked my partner a holiday they would typically look but they whinged about going because they are ‘ready for Halloween’ and can’t be bothered to pack!

Right, and that still doesn’t explain anything. Blood out of a stone with you!

So you both knew you were off.

Was there an intention to go away together and you just let him sort it, or did you think you were just off work at home and he randomly arrived and said, “surprise, I’ve booked this without ANY discussion at all!”

Yes you are being unreasonable! Gran Canaria is a lively holiday spot and you'll get your UV quota so you won't get SAD.

Put some holiday songs on, get your suitcase out and get packing!!!

I totally see your point. It won't be mid to high twenties, more likely 18 to 20. Not even pool weather really just nice and... mild. Don't see the point.

@Revolvingwhore well exactly,well I don't like pools anyway because I can't swim
Me and beach places just don't go
Would rather of went to Lapland

yanbu, I’d feel pissed off if my DH surprised me with that, but then I’m firmly of the opinion that the canaries collectively are just the biggest shithole.

@Testina pretty much ,I suggested Manchester for the Xmas markets and we talked about it
Then he said he had booked GC

Do you not ever go on holiday for any other reason than baking in the sun around a pool?
Not culture? Food? Architecture? Scenery?

I have no idea how anyone's partner manages to 'book a holiday' without the other party actually knowing or being at least asked about it.

Even if he's paying for absolutely everything (is he?), I'd already have other things organised for my annual leave. And my passport has just run out.

The clothes thing sounds a bit nuts but it's the presumption really, isn't it?

I love a winter holiday. When it’s cold and miserable here it’s nice to get a bit of sun. But I guess not if you don’t like that kind of thing. I wouldn’t spoil things though, maybe just let him know you’d rather cold holidays or no holidays in winter in future

The culture of the Canary Islands? OK boss.

I would hate for someone to spring a surprise on me and I do understand what you mean about your mindset being around Halloween/ Christmas now.

However ! I think winter sunshine holidays are the best . I would normally chose to go around February when it's really awful here. I think you might be surprised how much you enjoy it .

Oh - and regarding packing, it's great as you will be packing clothes you are no longer wearing day to day so they should all be clean and ready to chuck into your case .

How thoughtful of him, wish my dh would do that.

you do sound a bit ungrateful, it’s 10 days, a holiday, a break from the rain and cold, a time to relax and spend together. He obviously thought he was doing a good thing.

plenty time here to enjoy the cold and wind and rain of autumn before winter and Christmas hits us,

I think it will be early 20s - probably some wind and cloud to stop it feeling over hot - but winter sun is so lovely and warming without being uncomfortably hot . I just love the feeling of sitting in a T shirt, looking at the sea and knowing I've escaped the horrible, cold, damp weather in the UK for a while.

What a bastard.
Dump him immediately.
Then give him my number 😜

Urgh, this reminds me of the type of vom-inducing crap I read on facebook and twitter.

'I wubz Autumn because....... hot cocoa, hot tea, hot apple Cider, cozy jumpers, brisk breezes, early dark nights, cosy nights in, snuggling in front of the fire, scented candles, falling leaves, bonfires, cool weather, blah blah blah...'

SO annoying. Give me Spring and Summer any day!

And I am SICK of the 'woo hoo, time for pumpkin spiced latte' tweets and instagram messages. Just bore off.

I would give my left arm for a bloody holiday in the sun in mid November. @cassaoppo YABVU!

I bet you’re fun at parties.

Of course YABU but I think you know that and you’re just being grumpy because it’s not what you pictured happening in the run up to Christmas. I can be a bit like this but your DP did this with the best of intentions and you need to force yourself not to be a twat about it. “Fake it till you make it” works here and you just need to pretend you are really looking forward to it and eventually your mind will also be convinced. I promise you will actually have a really good time but only if you make the effort to work your way out of your current negative mindset!

Of course the Canary Islands have culture! Do you think the residents are hibernating robots who only come to life when someone wants them to pour drinks?

If I remember correctly Gran Canaria is the best island for archeology.

Going back to the Op’s situation - my parents often go in November. They reckon it is “short sleeves during the day and then a cardigan in the evening” weather. They are big swimmers (swim every day at home) but have to work up the courage to get in the pool as they are chilly. The pools are usually close to empty. Strangely the sea is generally warmer than the pool so nice for a paddle.

I am actually really jealous. By mid November it won’t be lovely autumn any more - it will be wet and dark and really quite miserable. And then you’ll get back and it will suddenly be nearly Christmas!

I’m not a sun seeker but I spent a week in GC first week of December a few years ago and it was wonderful. Just go and enjoy it, or if it’s really too much then tell him to take someone else but don’t expect him to book another holiday. Also, have you even communicated with each other regarding what you want out of holidays?