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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was I rude/wrong in this situation?

457 replies

clankist · 16/10/2022 16:20

Was out walking my two seven month chihuahuas today. I have treated them like dogs from day one and they are very well trained. They walk off lead absolutely fine and don't bother other dogs at all, however if a dog comes running over to them they will bolt.

Today I was walking them off lead and there were two big golden retriever with two women who were chatting. We were quite a distance away but one of the retrievers started barking and running towards me/my dogs. I put my hand out in a 'stop' motion as it got closer. I said, 'stop' and when that didn't work I said 'no'. That didn't work either and my dogs started to run away.

I moved away from the dogs and began to call for my dogs but the retriever kept following me so my dogs were standing watching at a distance but wouldn't come over due to the dog being next to me. I shouted across to the woman, 'can you please get your dog?' No reply and she continued talking.

I moved away again, calling my dogs and the dog followed me again. I looked at the lady and shouted, 'can you get your dog?' She didn't move.

I moved away again and the dog followed once again, at this point I was exasperated and said a little sternly, 'will You move your dog!?'

She came over and said, 'my dog isn't anywhere near your dogs' rudely.

I said, 'yeah because they ran away terrified due to your dog coming up to them. If your dog is off lead it shouldn't be running up to my dogs'

She went to say something but I just held up my hand and said, 'thank you'.

I then continued my walk with my dogs and the lady met another dog walker who then started pointing to me and shaking their head.

Did I do the right thing to deal with this situation or was I too sensitive? I just think you shouldn't have your dog off the lead unless you know they will not approach any other dogs without permission.

OP posts:
Colderthanever · 17/10/2022 09:00

You were very rude, how do you not know, is there a back story where you don’t understand normal etiquette?

and if your dogs bolt if another dog approaches then keep them on lead.

clankist · 17/10/2022 12:45

I wasn't rude

OP posts:
clankist · 17/10/2022 12:45

I gave her back what I got.

OP posts:
ShouldIdo · 17/10/2022 12:48

clankist · 17/10/2022 12:45

I wasn't rude

So why have you asked if you were rude?

What a very odd post.

Did you want everyone come on and say your precious pups are the best pups in the world and the retriever was a very naughty dog?

Well, they didn't and justifiably so!

Anytimeiseeit · 17/10/2022 12:50

clankist · 17/10/2022 12:45

I wasn't rude

Was I rude?
yes you were
no i wasn’t rude
😂

YellowTreeHouse · 17/10/2022 12:51

Again…

Why would you start a thread literally asking if you’re rude and/or wrong and when the majority of posters tell you you were rude and you were in the wrong get defensive, insist you’re right and display even more rudeness?

CatkinToadflax · 17/10/2022 12:52

YellowTreeHouse · 17/10/2022 12:51

Again…

Why would you start a thread literally asking if you’re rude and/or wrong and when the majority of posters tell you you were rude and you were in the wrong get defensive, insist you’re right and display even more rudeness?

Exactly. You were rude.

Miffee · 17/10/2022 12:53

I don't think you were rude to that woman.

I do think you have issues with your dogs and need to train them better. Just because she is worse doesn't mean you're right.

BeautifulElephant · 17/10/2022 12:55

Completely disagree. The only situation they run is when a random dog approaches them by running up and barking. I don't think it's much to ask dog owners to not allow that.

It's not much to ask you to keep your dog on a lead when you know there's always going to be a risk of them running off.

KendrickLamaze · 17/10/2022 12:57

Not sure if it was rude, it probably was but I'm sure it would have escalated obscenely if you hadn't done that and walked off. These idiots can't be spoken to. However, it sounds like your dogs should probably be on a lead too if recall isn't prefect.

My dog is always on a lead.

missmamiecuddleduck · 17/10/2022 13:03

Why don't you just walk them on lead?

Never did understand the off lead fad, especially since most dogs are so poorly trained.

girlmom21 · 17/10/2022 13:04

clankist · 17/10/2022 12:45

I gave her back what I got.

Was she rude?

SirChenjins · 17/10/2022 13:21

missmamiecuddleduck · 17/10/2022 13:03

Why don't you just walk them on lead?

Never did understand the off lead fad, especially since most dogs are so poorly trained.

Totally understand this. I walk my dog on lead unless we’re in the dog park or the middle of nowhere - absolutely sick and tired of off lead dogs bounding up to him with the owners too far away to call their dog back or not caring enough to, because hey, they’re dogs. Great if your off lead dog ignores other dogs or you check first that it’s ok to say hello, but far too many don’t. If you’re asked to recall your dog for whatever reason, just do it.

Hoppinggreen · 17/10/2022 15:11

My dog is not allowed to approach off lead dogs but if they are off lead he is unless an owner or a dogs body language tells me otherwise.

Itisour · 17/10/2022 16:47

clankist · 17/10/2022 12:45

I wasn't rude

Your own thread is titled 'Was I wrong/rude in this situation?'

Most people have said yes to both.

Why did you start a thread asking a question you already know the answer to? You seem completely unprepared to take on any kind of feedback/alternative perspective. What was the point of asking?

Newusernameaug · 17/10/2022 16:52

No, the normal unspoken rule is if your dog is friendly with other dogs then fine off lead, as it’s nice for them to interact and play.

if your dogs don’t like other dogs (one of mine doesn’t,) they just walk off.

if I was you I would have kept walking the direction I was heading in and eventually the retrievers would of gone back to their owner.

it sounds like you made drama from nothing to be honest.

HikingforScenery · 17/10/2022 16:52

You’re both irresponsible dog owners and should keep them on leads.

I think you were rude but the woman certainly deserved every bit of the rudeness she got .

chocolatemademefat · 17/10/2022 17:00

Keep your dogs on a lead and problem solved.

Putting your hand up to someone to stop them from speaking is awful - have some manners. You come across as not only rude but entitled.

Gemmanorthdevon · 17/10/2022 17:43

Did the OP start a thread called " was I being rude?" And then very clearly state to the majority who agreed she was, that she wasn't being rude?

Brilliant 😂

PetuniaT · 17/10/2022 18:07

Definitely unreasonable. Why is it that dog owners always say "My dog never............."

Yorkie177 · 17/10/2022 18:10

my dog is pretty stubborn and although generally good recall it’s a bit haphazard. I never let him approach a dog on a lead though and always put him on his if I see one but if dogs are off lead and in fields I generally think they are free to go and say hello….

rainbowshows · 17/10/2022 18:12

If you can't control your dogs when they are off the lead then they should be on a lead.

Loics · 17/10/2022 18:19

OP: Was I rude?
Everyone: Yes
OP: No I wasn't! stomp

Roxy69 · 17/10/2022 18:20

WeepingSomnambulist · 16/10/2022 16:27

The general rule is that if dogs are off lead then other dogs can approach them to play.

If you see dogs on lead, then you stop your dog from approaching them. Off lead dogs can play with each other.

If your dogs are a flight risk around other dogs then you need to keep them on a lead. If they had been on a lead, and that dog ran at you and your dogs, then you could shout to the woman to get her dog etc. But your dogs were off lead.

You were rude. There was no need for that. Most dogs love to meet each other and interact.

ElizabethBest · 17/10/2022 18:22

You can’t walk your dogs off-lead if they won’t recall for ANY reason. That includes if they run away from other dogs, so YABU to walk them off lead and YABU to be rude

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