Husband can't return the right kids clothing to right child when putting washing away

[IncessantNameChanger]

We have 4 kids. 18, 14, 10 and 8.

14 year old and 18 are the same size so ok maybe that's OK to get mixed up. But...

10 years old clothes go to the 14 year old who has SEN so he will happily wear 10-11 trousers that are 6 inches to short as he can get them on ( all the kids are very thin, except the 10 year old)

20 year old gets his sisters clothes that are unisex but she is tiny so some things are age 6.

Ten year old gets everyone's clothes.

8 year old only gets her things.

I get that I buy all the clothes so I know who everything belongs to, but dh sees the kids wearing these things, they have age labels, the kids are 4 years apart except the youngest.

Do I really need to use a dot system on the labels to help him? ( one dot for eldest, 2 dots for 2nd child etc)

Occasionally he gives me or him the 18 year olds clothes. Ds18 is eight stone, 5,8 with a 28" waist. Neiyher me and dh could dream of fitting into his clothes.

Is this just him?

Opps ten year old gets his sisters clothes not 20 year old.

they are old enough to collect their own clothing from a pile.
The older ones are old enough to take care of their own washing

He can; he's just choosing not to. Strategic incompetence.

Leave him to it. He’ll soon learn.

Yes they could and the 18 year old washes and drys his. But the youngest three have sen so they need the help. Occasionally the 18 year old has depression so he can get into a mess if his mood is low like now after a split with gf

Mine is the same. At first I thought it was because I bought, collected and washed the clothes. Now he's doing that it hasn't improved. I'm not sure why. He's enlisted the kids but to be honest, they aren't much better!
Eventually everyone gets their things back.
I don't generally care or notice what people wear but I can pick up clothing and identify it as to which family member it belongs to. Unless it's a recent hand me down.

Maybe it's just one of those things. Slightly frustrating but as he does the majority of the housework, I don't mind being the clothes sorter. 😊

I think he's hoping to get out of it by doing it wrong. I do agree that the kids are old enough to get their own but then you just end up with a free for all. No easy answer.

Why is this your problem to solve? Either husband learns who wears what, or kids help him (appreciate your DC with SEN might not be able to but the others could help)

My DH does this too and the kids just swap when they have the wrong socks etc in their piles

For things like black tights which are hard to tell whose is whose between me and dd, I have sewn a small loop of different coloured cotton in the label. Red for her, blue for me. To make them easy to tell apart.

Not too much effort for just tights. For every item of clothing for 3 kids though I’d probably get name stamps from somewhere like Stamptastic which has permanent ink and have a family name label stamping session.

I'm also a big fan of not worrying about stupid stuff. I want my things ironed in a particular way, so i do all the ironing. I don't want my lovely bras & pants washed at 60 or 40 with the jeans, so i keep them separate and do my own. DH doesn't mind about ironing at all and doesn't care about washing so i take care of the things that i care about more.

I DGAF if equipment is left out on the kitchen worktop, or if there are shoes lined up in the hallway rather than all that being in cupboards. So while i try not to leave things all over the place, i don't go out of my way to put things away if i know I need them again tomorrow. DH wants it all away so he does that.

etc etc

if it really is an issue for the 14 year old, either mark their clothes, or get the other DCs to make sure they get the right clothes. the 14 year old can do other appropriate tasks to make up for it

Yes I'm wondering about strategic incompetence. But he lost two of the kids favourite items and he spent hours going through everyones clothes to find them.

I have just put the dregs of the weeks washing away and found and moved a 6 year old t shirt and a pair of 14 year old pjs from the 10 year old. Again.

so what does he say if you bring it up? If you are the only one bothered by it (for whatever reaseon) it's not going to change, is it?

Give him something else to be in charge of and you be in carge of washing?

He puts initials on all the labels.

I got clothes passed on from an adult once and his name was on everything..I thought this was mad until I realised there were 4 adult males in the house..names on clothes made sense!

Our clothes get mixed up occasionally but you just hand it back to the right person.

My husband 'gave' our 16 year old tiny DD my bra the other day. That was hilarious 😆

I sometimes mix up DDs clothes. But there's only a year and a half difference in age, and some stuff is same size. And they swap stuff!

If 8t should be obvious from size, style etc He needs to learn to be observant. Checking a label is easy.

How does depression stop him doing his laundry 🙄

Well, sometimes I mix up dh and ds's stuff. Ds is 12.

Almost 17 year old dd and I are always swapping tights and pants after DH has sorted them.

No biggie. I would suggest none of us take much notice of anyone's clothes but our own.

ah, depression stops you doing lots of day-to-day things. However people who live with people who have depression sometimes need to get them doing things, which helps them.

Have you spoken to him about this?

@outtheshowernow you clearly have no understanding of what it’s like to suffer from depression. Sometimes just getting dressed or brushing teeth takes a Herculean effort.

I can’t tell a lot of my kids clothes apart. I have 3 DDs 20, 18 and 18.
I just leave it all in a large basket and let them sort it.
Some if it, like t shirts or tops I might know but black leggings, knickers etc I wouldn’t have a clue.
Of course the system falls apart when they leave loads of stuff in the basket for months.
I don’t expect them to do their own laundry generally because I think it is more efficient to do large family loads.

@outtheshowernow don't be facetious. Depression often makes people inactive and not fussed about their appearance. I assume the OP cares that her depressed son has clean clothes.

Get some laundry bags.
or
label everything
Or
you sort he washes and returns
or
the children help (do their sn really mean they can’t or do you just not have the energy to support them on top of everything else)
or
pay for someone to do the laundry
or
do it and get him to do something he’s good at that you despise

This is NOT a problem. Everyone is shit at some things.

It only boovers me when the 18 is moaning about his favourite cargo pants and they was lost for months. Also when the 14 year old goes out looking like Michael Jackson in his 10 year old brother trousers. Ds14 is so unself aware things don't fit him. He has run out of pants for example, when I asked why he didn't do something about it, he said he could wear the same pair until some clean ones appeared. I can see really he might be his own problem to address here.

Dh does more than his share of housework and parenting but this really bugs me.

Grab a Sharpie pen and put dots on the laundry label of each item. One dot for the eldest DC's clothes, two dots for the next oldest etc.

When clothes are handed down, just add a dot.