It's a wedding present 1!

[CellophaneFlower]

I'm off to a wedding soon. It's somebody I haven't seen in decades, if this is relevant. Invite asks for no presents. Do people only say this to be polite?!

I'm thinking either cash in a card or a token gift, such as nice champagne?

Wwyd? If cash, how much? 2 adults going, no kids allowed. Or do I respect their wishes and go with a token gift?

Usually I'd say whack a voucher or something in a card but since you've not seen them in years, and they've said no gifts just go with it!

Don't buy a gift. If you know them well, 50 quid, otherwise 25. That's what we do. Or a donation to charity if they've specified something like that.

Out of interest, if you've not seen them for decades, why are you invited/going?

I’d probably take a token gift like champagne or something,
mostly because if u we’re meeting old friends after a long time I’d probably take a bottle anyway.

When some people say no gifts, they mean they'd like cash instead.

People so no presents when they want cash

Do not turn up empty handed, it’s ridiculously rude

If you’re going for the day and evening, as you haven’t seen them in a while I’d be going for £100 in a card

Evening only - £50

I’d do what you’re thinking and either put cash in a card or take champagne.

It's a really old friend's daughter getting married. Haven't seen the bride since she was about 5 (they moved away). Her mum I haven't seen in about 17 years, and just the once since they moved. We rarely message, but more down to busy lives than an actual reason! I realise this all sounds odd, but I still class her as a best friend and the daughter still refers to me as Auntie Cellophane when she talks to her mum about me 😂

Her daughter wants me to attend as a surprise for her mum.

They said no presents so respect that.

That sounds lovely. In that case I'd bump up the money amount 😊

This is what I thought! I was thinking cash and saying "have a meal out on us"?

If you know they like champagne and have room in their house for a bottle, then crack on, but personally I’d take no presents to mean exactly that. Its a bit rude to clutter people’s houses up with stuff they never asked for, and be aware that there’s a chance every other guest has got them a little gift despite them specifically asking for nothing. It all adds up massively in terms of cupboard space. Money in a card seems like a safer option. Usually people nominate a charity for donations at no-presents weddings to avoid the awkwardness.

Depends, if they are older especially second marriages and say no gifts they probably mean it - I would take a bottle of champagne or something else I know they both like but not more. If younger I would slip in money or a John Lewis gift card. If we marry I would not want any gifts, we have plenty of stuff and earn more than many family and friends so genuinely would want their company only

We said no presents and meant it! Some people bought us vouchers which was lovely but some got us drink (we don’t drink) and others random ornaments that we would never choose so now we feel bad having stuck in a cupboard!

Blimey, £100?! How much would you give close family?

Just read that back and it’s a bit blunt, but I’ve made this faux pas before and the bride hasn’t spoken to me since. People are strange about weddings!

£250-£300

I’d give £50

@PoundOfNesh

Wow that's a lot. £50 for friends, £100 for close friends and family is more normal

I'm 100% not getting a gift! I wouldn't have a clue what they need/like. Would be cash, token posh booze or helpful voucher!

I’d put money in a card. Something like £30-£50.

I also think it's a polite way of asking for money.
I'd say £100 is an appropriate amount.

They have stated on invite "your presence is present enough". Still thinking this might translate as "no tut, hard cash if you're not tight" 🙃

We requested no presents as had lived together for years; but almost everyone gave cash or vouchers! Some gave loads, some gave smaller amounts. Everything was appreciated. I’d probably do £50-80 in these circs

They are being polite. Definitely no gifts, including champagne. A gift token or a restaurant voucher for somewhere local to them I think would be perfect. Do not go with nothing

Wow. OK well you must earn a lot more t han I do @PoundOfNesh that's a month's spending money for me.

Op in the circs you describe, I would put some money in a card with a note saying "you said no gifts, but thought you could treat yourselves" if they really don't want money, they can give it to charity. I think £50 is plenty.