It's a wedding present 1!

[CellophaneFlower]

I'm off to a wedding soon. It's somebody I haven't seen in decades, if this is relevant. Invite asks for no presents. Do people only say this to be polite?!

I'm thinking either cash in a card or a token gift, such as nice champagne?

Wwyd? If cash, how much? 2 adults going, no kids allowed. Or do I respect their wishes and go with a token gift?

If put £50 in a card.

Thanks for all opinions, much appreciated!

Although I don't really know her, I'm pretty sure she's a lovely girl. I don't actually think she would be offended if guests showed up empty handed. With this in mind, I'm sure anything would be greatly received! Just didn't want to look either tight or overkill with too much, as though I'm making some kind of statement 😳

I'd put £50 to £100 in a card depending on how low key the wedding is.

How lovely to be invited- hopefully you will reconnect with your old friend and be able to catch up more often. You'll probably see other old friends there too!
If you can afford it, I'd pop some money or a voucher in the card for the bride and groom. (I would personally go with £100 from the 2 of you, but this is all down to personal choice,) I think most people say "no presents, just your presence," but I'd still give something. If you're not in a position to give them money, they did say no gifts, so I think that's ok too.
Have a lovely time.

If someone asks for no gifts I take them at their word and only give a card.

How about a voucher for a local restaurant/or Deliveroo?
With a note along the lines of "treat yourself to lunch/takeaway"

They mean they want cash. I would give £100 to £200 depending on how close you are.

Thank you ☺

We asked for ‘no presents please’ and that’s exactly what we meant. If it’s a low key wedding, then I think they definitely mean ‘no gifts’.

We each had our own homes before we met so really didn’t need stuff and just wanted a nice party in our garden on the following day after a very low key Register office wedding. We weren’t having a honeymoon either so didn’t want gifts of money either.

A few people bought us token gifts but thankfully, the majority didn’t, which was a huge relief to me.

A card will suffice.

We married in April (a year after we’d moved in) so asked for money towards honeymoon rather than presents
We wasn’t sure wether to put this in the invite but had a lot of people asking us what we wanted as a gift so decided too

We did have a few people gift us over £100 which of course we were very surprised about and grateful and we wouldn’t of expected this much. I would say a nice £30/40 gift card or cash is what I usually gift for evening so was not expecting more than that from others

I’d say cash too. I don’t know if it’s just because I’ve mostly been to wedding with people 30+ of age but I can’t remember ever buying a present as people have most things they want and would prefer cash.

Personally for the whole day for two people I’d put in £100 but it depends on your situation.

£50 in a pretty card. Job done.

I think it’s “ridiculously rude” to expect people to pack their palm full of cash when they’re attending a self-indulgent party! And especially rude when they’re somehow expecting them to work out the code of “no presents” means at least £50 cold hard cash, or even £100. And when they haven’t seen their guest in decades, and presumably only invited them to pack out the numbers to some pointless round number.

remind me again who is “ridiculously rude”?!

Obviously it depends on your financial situation, but if I felt I had to give £100 for a wedding gift for someone who wasn't close family or someone I hadn't even seen in years, I'd probably rather not be invited!

I don't think it's wrong to take them at their word, but if you want to give cash, that's a nice gesture.

You get fed and usually there's at least one free drink, so I always give enough to cover what I'd spend on that. So if two of us were going it would be at least £50 in a personalised card.

When I got married (about 100 years ago), I invited some people of my parents generation who were important to me as a child, even though I hadn't seen them much over the years. They appeared to have been really pleased to have been asked and they were generous with their gifts, even though nothing was expected.

Oi, I'll have you know I'm the special guest 😱 But yes, there's been a bit of a family feud... so quite likely I might be filling an empty chair 😂

Amazing that people would give £100's! Wonder if these are the same posters who were admonishing the OP on another thread who was worried she only had £200 left every month.

We asked for no gifts for our wedding. We really didn’t want anything. Had all we needed for our home and felt that weddings cost so much for people to attend anyway. We wanted who we invited, that was the gift that they came.
Many people did give us a gift which was lovely and many didn’t which was great. We don’t feel any different to the ones that did bring something to the ones that didn’t. Everyone got a thank you card, gift or no gift.

If they said no presents then you just give a card. If they wanted cash or vouchers instead of presents they would have said so.

If they've requested no presents, surely that includes champagne?

If everyone they've invited thinks along the same lines then they could end up with 50 bottles of champagne, or whatever. It completely defeats the purpose.

Money in a card if you want to give something.

So if a person could only afford a tenner - would it be better to put the tenner in a card, or take them at their word and just give a card?
Or should they decline the invitation on the grounds of being poor?

Struggling to see 50 bottles of champagne as an issue!