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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think the amount of money im left with by the end of the month is ridiculous?

416 replies

yellowcheesepie · 15/10/2022 13:36

I recently went back to work after mat leave and am sat here wondering how on earth this is worth it ?! after paying all my bills of food, rent, electricity, water, internet, netflix, phone, commute and childcare etc i'm only left with £200 a month to save? i'm not a big spender either, all my income goes on the mentioned above plus £100 spending allowance for myself.

I'm not trying to rant, but i'd like to understand how other working mums do it? is this a reasonable amount to save per month or is there something very wrong in my finances? I live with my DH and we split all bills / expenses if anyone is wondering

OP posts:
DoingJustFine · 15/10/2022 17:57

Is that after full time childcare? I think the thinking around childcare is that it essentially costs you everything you earn at the start, but it saves your career so afterwards you earn more than you would've done if you'd quit.,

KermitlovesKeyLimePie · 15/10/2022 17:59

Having children costs money shocker!

berksandbeyond · 15/10/2022 18:00

I agree that its shit but you'll get everyone being competitively poor on here

Emotionalsupportviper · 15/10/2022 18:03

Agrudge · 15/10/2022 17:31

Are you both single?

Or cohabiting?

Show quote history

Married.

Retired.

Fixed (and rapidly dwindling) income.

sweetkitty · 15/10/2022 18:04

When our first DD was born we lived in central London and after childcare costs I would have been left with £100 a month and a baby in nursery 10 hours a day. We decided it wasn’t for us so we moved to the other end of the country and I became a SAHM. After our youngest was born I retrained in a different career, there were times when the DC were younger when we had one UK holiday, one car, watched our budget carefully etc but we got by. Now we have no childcare costs, I earn a decent salary and because we lived on one salary, all of my salary is disposable income which is used for holidays, home improvements, savings, days out etc.

JustFeckIt · 15/10/2022 18:05

How much does your DH have left over after bills?

Does he earn more than you? Call me old fashioned but I always find it odd when married couples ‘split’ bills. Surely in a partnership all the money is joint and any excess is shared?

When I had unexpected twins, (2nd baby carefully planned when oldest would be at school so only one set of nursery fees at a time), we would have been -£500 a month off including oldest’s wraparound and school holiday care fees so literally couldn’t afford to go back to work. Wasn’t feasible with all the extra work of two babies (including sleepless nights with them waking at different times!) anyway.

Do you want to work? If your costs of working like travel, lunches etc comes to more than £200 would it be feasible not to? Could you do a part time job from home in the evenings or weekends rather go out to a full time job and pay for childcare? Could you study at home for qualifications to keep skills up? That’s probably what I’d think think doing in your situation.

WhatsAVideo · 15/10/2022 18:06

That’s more than I had left over - a grand total of £50 so I was fucked if anything ever needed doing. Single.

Child support was hit and miss, they’d threaten to deduct from his wages, so he’d pay that months, then nothing for 4 months, rinse and repeat.

CarefreeMe · 15/10/2022 18:07

So you have £300 spare cash at the end of every month - no wonder you’ve not returned to the thread.

Babyroobs · 15/10/2022 18:10

I think a lot of people barely make ends meet let alone being able to save.

whatdodos · 15/10/2022 18:14

Tbh I think you're lucky to have that much amount left at the end of the month, most people would love that. I have the same amount left but I'm extremely lucky that I had help to buy my house and car so I pay less for them. I'd be in minus every month if that wasn't the case although I'm now upping the amount I o

whatdodos · 15/10/2022 18:16

Posted to soon* I'm now upping the amount I pay my mum back every month as if i have the spare it's only fair it goes back to the person who helped me out the most. I don't buy new clothes or go on holiday or anything as nearly every spare penny goes on paying back

Therealjudgejudy · 15/10/2022 18:28

I think it would be helpful to know how much your partner saves each month and his disposable income..

Oddbobbyboo · 15/10/2022 18:32

You’ll always be at loss when it comes to childcare, but you have £300 left which is amazing x this will increase when your little one gets their 3 year old funding entitlement and then massively increase when they start school xx keep going….. I must admit life is incredibly expensive at the moment so I imagine this has brought you a little anxiety x keep swimming x

Lozzybear · 15/10/2022 18:36

£300 is not amazing. If the boiler needs replacing, the car needs fixing etc, they are fucked.

Loics · 15/10/2022 18:36

I do agree with you that you, OP. It doesn't sound like a lot at all, only £100 a month to spend on whatever you like isn't great. I would struggle to do it myself, I have to admit.

butterpuffed · 15/10/2022 18:37

berksandbeyond · 15/10/2022 18:00

I agree that its shit but you'll get everyone being competitively poor on here

And quite a large percentage who actually are poor right now .

Topgub · 15/10/2022 18:38

@Potat0soup

What a weird post.

I could be a millionaire (I'm not) and still think it was worth the ops while to work.

What's the alternate?

fernz · 15/10/2022 18:42

Therealjudgejudy · 15/10/2022 18:28

I think it would be helpful to know how much your partner saves each month and his disposable income..

Yep, household income matters here. £300 may not seem like much to cover emergencies and one-off expenses but if your DH also has £££ to set aside, then that's of course a very different situation.

Remmy123 · 15/10/2022 18:45

No it isn't much.

on top of that is kids clothes / your clothes / birthday and Christmas / holidays etc

FlatWhiteExtraHot · 15/10/2022 18:52

Floralnomad · 15/10/2022 13:43

When you say you split all the bills does he pay for half the childcare , childs expenses etc . I’ve never understood why families don’t just have joint accounts with one pot of joint money .

Because the way you do things doesn’t necessarily work for everyone maybe?

incognitopurple · 15/10/2022 19:10

Agree with @Lozzybear

It might sound like a lot but if this needs to factor in uniforms, new shoes for her or her DC, anything around the house, a new tyre etc. One meal out is £50+ anywhere you go.
A bloody storage basket for some linen cost me £20 today and not even a nice one.
It is not a lot at the moment and OP isn’t wrong for feeling the way she does. Yes people have less but people have more too. It isn’t a contest. The system shouldn’t be the way it is @yellowcheesepie, I understand feeling demoralised and hear you.

Lozzybear · 15/10/2022 19:18

@incognitopurple absolutely. I spent more than £300 on school uniform this summer. Shoes x 2, trainers x 3, football x 2. It’s all adds up.

whatausername · 15/10/2022 19:26

Are you trolling? You've £300 spare... Maybe spend it on therapy and develop some awareness?

user1471538283 · 15/10/2022 19:28

When my Ds was small I lived paycheck to paycheck. I had nothing left at all.

But I worked full time, had a pension and got promotions so things eased.

£300 left over is alot of money!

RomeoOscarXrayIndigoEcho · 15/10/2022 19:29

It's totally worth it.

You say DP not DH, so remaining financially independent in case of a relationship breakdown has worth you probably cannot measure.

Then there's your pension

Then there's staying current in a work environment- it's easier to get a job when you are in a job.

Then you'll benefit from salary increases and eventually decreasing childcare costs.

It's totally worth it.

£300 spare (and you might have that each?) is a lot of money.

You have options and you have income and you are managing to pay all your bills.

I know that you'll find it tough right now as you'll be seeing a massive drop in your disposable income.

It'll be worth it.

We've paid over £70,000 in childcare over 15 years. (2 DC, PT nursery and then wrap around/holiday care).