to think the amount of money im left with by the end of the month is ridiculous?

[yellowcheesepie]

I recently went back to work after mat leave and am sat here wondering how on earth this is worth it ?! after paying all my bills of food, rent, electricity, water, internet, netflix, phone, commute and childcare etc i'm only left with £200 a month to save? i'm not a big spender either, all my income goes on the mentioned above plus £100 spending allowance for myself.

I'm not trying to rant, but i'd like to understand how other working mums do it? is this a reasonable amount to save per month or is there something very wrong in my finances? I live with my DH and we split all bills / expenses if anyone is wondering

[berksandbeyond]

@Nursemumma92

@berksandbeyond no one has said its shit life Olympics. I would have chosen not to read the thread had it not been entitled 'To think the money that I'm left with at the end of the month is ridiculous'
We've all come on here to empathise expecting her to say she's got £0 left over once all bills and expenses are accounted for but she's moaning its not worth working for an extra £300 a month.
£300 doesn't go far these days I know, but to have that as disposable income EACH MONTH is far more than the majority of the population, particularly having just returned from maternity leave with a baby in full time childcare.

There will always be someone worse off than you but when the country is in a cost of living crisis, it doesn't hurt to put people into perspective so they can be grateful for what they have. It is AIBU after all, and as the majority of posters have said- yes she is.

Well Mumsnet is going to very dull isn't it?

Can't post about your DH because you should be sensitive to those who haven't met anyone

Can't post about your kids because insensitive to those who can't have kids

Can't post about your new shoes you bought because some people don't have legs and that would be insensitive

Can't post about about diet because some people are starving and that would be insensitive

[Mrsmch123]

working and having £300 left to show for it is shite no matter if others are worse off! Yes you are "better off" than others but you don't know how much time/effort the job takes and at what cost to the OPS family expense. It's not a race to the bottom!

[Nursemumma92]

@berksandbeyond you really don't get it do you. It's called reading the room... clearly you, OP, a handful of others are in the same boat and cannot see any other point of view.
It's good to be sensitive to the feelings of others... you are right you can always offend someone but giving the example of not posting about your kids because it's insensitive to those who can't have kids... on MUMSNET... that's taking the point too far. I am obviously sympathetic to those people and they are more than welcome on here but the clue is in the name. You are clutching at straws.

[berksandbeyond]

@Nursemumma92

@berksandbeyond you really don't get it do you. It's called reading the room... clearly you, OP, a handful of others are in the same boat and cannot see any other point of view.
It's good to be sensitive to the feelings of others... you are right you can always offend someone but giving the example of not posting about your kids because it's insensitive to those who can't have kids... on MUMSNET... that's taking the point too far. I am obviously sympathetic to those people and they are more than welcome on here but the clue is in the name. You are clutching at straws.

I'm really not, you're all being ridiculous. It's £300, she's not shitting gold!

[Nursemumma92]

@berksandbeyond

I'm really not, you're all being ridiculous. It's £300, she's not shitting gold!

Haha ok, we're all being ridiculous. £300 a month... £3600 disposable income a year without taking into account what your DH has left over... that's not worth getting out of bed for. Is that what you want to hear?

[Ɍachel]

@1000N

Wish i had that, if im left with a positive balance of £1 at the end of the month that’s really good!
i have a good job and i have ZERO personal expenses- example the last time i went to have my hair cut was July 2021, been doing it at home since ( looks awful)!

Realistically, if you have no personal expenses and no money left at the end of the month, you don't have a good job.

[berksandbeyond]

OP won't be back because everyone has been so bitter but just in case she is reading - yep, I get it. I felt the same when I went back to work, I wondered why I was half killing myself working and dropping my crying baby off at nursery, then working from home with a toddler during a pandemic, for fuck all left over after bills. I wondered if I'd be better off just going on benefits and staying home with her. But I wanted to retain my career and now that she's at school it is finally starting to pay off and I'm so grateful for that now that living costs are going up. So yes, I hear you - it is shit to only have £300 worth at the end of the month, and it doesn't feel worth it in the short term but it is in the long term.

[usernamealreadytaken]

@Mrsmch123

@usernamealreadytaken yeh IF her husband has the same left over then that's a good amount. However if he has none then it is indeed shite. £300 isn't a lot for "all other things" particularly if you have children.....a trip to soft play for example £7/8 entry £4/5 a meal x 2 kids soon adds up.....

Given that they pay 50/50 on the bills, it's a reasonable assumption that their salaries are similar, unless you're suggesting that OP is financially abusing her DH by making him spend his entire salary on household expenses with nothing left over for himself 🙄

[Solonge]

@Mrsmch123

working and having £300 left to show for it is shite no matter if others are worse off! Yes you are "better off" than others but you don't know how much time/effort the job takes and at what cost to the OPS family expense. It's not a race to the bottom!

Who said anything about race to the bottom? the idea of going to work is to make it possible to buy or rent a home, provide heating, food and clothing for your family. Holidays possibly....Christmas hopefully....what are you saying? you expect a thousand quid a month left over at the end of paying out? if thats what you mean, then clearly its a case of getting a much better paid job....though maybe if you do that, you will give up the time with your kid and husband, face long commutes or time away with your job. Some are lucky enough to have that choice, the majority dont...and making ends meet is frankly, good enough....and not to be looked down on.

[Solonge]

@Ɍachel

Realistically, if you have no personal expenses and no money left at the end of the month, you don't have a good job.

How can you say that? you have no idea of what 1000N is paying out....she may have a huge mortgage, childcare for several kids and paying back uni debts.

[Solonge]

@berksandbeyond

It's not a race to the bottom. So because your life is shit you think everyone should struggle? Nice

wow....you truly are a sweet heart arent you.....'just because your life is shit' you really said that....FFS try to understand that millions in the UK have been plunged into proverty....is it beyond your understanding to not be so fecking unpleasant...?

[PeopleAreNuts]

@Solonge

wow....you truly are a sweet heart arent you.....'just because your life is shit' you really said that....FFS try to understand that millions in the UK have been plunged into proverty....is it beyond your understanding to not be so fecking unpleasant...?

I think that's the point, no? The cost of living for people has gone up significantly. Millions have been pushed into poverty, and that sucks for them. Others have been pushed from comfortable to uncomfortable. That also sucks for them.

Maybe OP went from having a decent amount left over each month, to then being off work for a bit, having a baby and significantly increased costs, and now being back to work with a double whammy - higher costs from the baby, and higher costs from the cost of living. So now with a salary coming in again seeing how little is left over compared to what was left a couple of years ago, that's got to feel pretty disheartening. So she comes on here to check in and see if other people are going through the same thing. I bet they are.

Someone being more broke than you doesn't make you less broke. Someone having a more shit time doesn't make your time any less shit. Having £300 left each month isn't something to brag about. It's better than having less than that left over, and not as good as having more. If it's a noticeable amount less than she had previously, then that's going to feel pretty shit. No two ways around that.

[Mrsmch123]

@Solonge

Who said anything about race to the bottom? the idea of going to work is to make it possible to buy or rent a home, provide heating, food and clothing for your family. Holidays possibly....Christmas hopefully....what are you saying? you expect a thousand quid a month left over at the end of paying out? if thats what you mean, then clearly its a case of getting a much better paid job....though maybe if you do that, you will give up the time with your kid and husband, face long commutes or time away with your job. Some are lucky enough to have that choice, the majority dont...and making ends meet is frankly, good enough....and not to be looked down on.

literally every second person is saying the OP should be grateful that she has anything left! No not thousands left over but enough to live your life.I'm not looking down on anyone but can see why the OP is annoyed. Maybe she does spend extended periods away from her family to be left with £300🤷🏻‍♀️

[purplehair1]

Blimey when my kids were small I had nothing left over and was constantly in overdraft! To be worried because you can ‘only’ save £200 a month? I had zero savings for decades and am only recently starting to save now my kids are independent.

[Cookiesareworthit]

You're not being unreasonable

Please don't listen to people in this thread, Brits love to do poverty Olympics and a race to the bottom

Childcare costs are ridiculous, if you can find a way to see if any family can help you (or alternatively WFH with baby there cough cough) it can make a real difference to your disposable

[Mamma2017]

@Eudaimonia5

I'm £200 into my overdraft every month (through no fault of my own) so consider yourself very fortunate to have money spare that you can save. I'd love to be able to save a tenner each month!

exactly this. I’m constantly in my overdraft as a single working mum. Absolutely tone deaf this post especially in the current climate- having any money to save is a luxury! Can’t believe someone is actually worrying about this enough to post online about it tbh!

[messymonkey1074]

When you say “not really worth it”. What’s the alternative and what would you be able to afford then ?
This is life I’m afraid.

[IAmSloth]

What is this spare cash you speak of???
I can only dream

[Quincythequince]

@berksandbeyond

Well Mumsnet is going to very dull isn't it?

Can't post about your DH because you should be sensitive to those who haven't met anyone

Can't post about your kids because insensitive to those who can't have kids

Can't post about your new shoes you bought because some people don't have legs and that would be insensitive

Can't post about about diet because some people are starving and that would be insensitive

Yep, agree with this entirely.
Anything you ever post about will always be trumped by someone else else in terms of how bad it is (or indeed isn’t) each and every time!

Pathetic tbh that people can’t post and not get abuse for it.

If you ended up needing a major car repair (‘but I have to take the bus, consider yourself lucky 🙄’ ), or your washing machine or tumbler goes (‘I have to use a launderette, you don’t know you’re born’ 🙄), or you have any birthdays coming up, or indeed Christmas (‘buy a £1 box of maltesers for them and draw your tree on paper and stick it to your wall, what are you moaning about’ 🙄), then it doesn’t go far at all.

It is not a bloody race to the bottom. Just because your life is really shit and hard right now, doesn’t mean OPs isn’t hard too.

[Quincythequince]

Maybe she thinks that a few hundred quid spare does t justify never seeing her baby.

Completely understandable tbh!

(cue people coming in and saying ‘but I never see mine either…).

Yes, and that’s shit too. They can both be shit.

[IAmSloth]

@Ɍachel

Realistically, if you have no personal expenses and no money left at the end of the month, you don't have a good job.

we have nothing left at end of the month but have a good job one of the best actually, I’ve trained hard to have it. People would struggle to go to work if I or others in my job weren’t around

[Quincythequince]

@Solonge

wow....you truly are a sweet heart arent you.....'just because your life is shit' you really said that....FFS try to understand that millions in the UK have been plunged into proverty....is it beyond your understanding to not be so fecking unpleasant...?

berks is not the one being unpleasant on here.

She’s acknowledging that other people have shit lives right now, which is the basis for the abuse the OP is getting (‘other people’s lives are way worse’) and now you’re saying she’s being unpleasant by saying this???!

WTF!

[Quincythequince]

Stick with it OP. I was you at one point, three kids full time day care.

Childcare (with no government help) was a second mortgage payment per month for years! Many years.

They’re all grown up now though, and I stayed on the career ladder and am now in a good position, so stick with it.

You hear many women say they wish they’d stayed working so stick with it If you can.

[Callingallskeletons]

It’s shit but my god I’d love to have that much left over! I think I have around £50/£75 and that gets absorbed by DC hobbies 😂😂😂