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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell my mum she can’t bring her dog in?

31 replies

RequiemForAcat · 14/10/2022 21:12

Complicated situation. My mum has an assistance dog because she’s disabled. I have a 5 month old cat and I let my mum stay over last night because she’s been having a bad time lately and needed the company, her dog has been barking at and chasing my kitten, he’s so terrified he’s peed on my daughters bed and pooped all over my bedroom, he’s genuinely terrified. My mums in a hotel near me tonight for the next week and wants to come over every day for dinner and company, but I can’t have the dog terrifying the kitten so I’m going to have to tell her she can’t come over. My mum gets deeply offended over things like this and I’m worried about explaining it to her tomorrow (I’m a people pleaser :( ) she’s going to be really annoyed so now I’m having bad anxiety over it.

OP posts:
furrytampon · 14/10/2022 21:13

I’ve never heard of an assistance dog that badly behaved

Original poster
RequiemForAcat · 14/10/2022 21:14

furrytampon · 14/10/2022 21:13

I’ve never heard of an assistance dog that badly behaved

I know, sometimes I’m baffled at how she passed the tests.

OP posts:
HighlandPony · 14/10/2022 21:15

Is this really an assistance dog or does she just call it that? Normally they’re trained to such a high standard they wouldn’t bat an eye at three bloody stallions going hammer and tongs at each other never mind a wee cat

Dunnoburt · 14/10/2022 21:15

You are absolutely not being unreasonable......I'd do the same (and already have)..... if its that much of an issue then meet elsewhere.

Leypt1 · 14/10/2022 21:15

Is there a quiet room where you can put your kitten to reduce aggro while your mum is round? It sounds so stressful but it does like your mum is in need of company and has come especially to be near you, and this might be a reasonable adjustment for her!

changingroom · 14/10/2022 21:16

Is it a properly trained assistance dog?
What is the disability?

Sounds poorly trained

I would put the cat in a bedroom and let the dog in.

Midnights · 14/10/2022 21:16

Is it an assistance dog or a service dog? I've never known a service dog to behave like that, at all, they're basically unflappable.

No, YANBU to explain that to your mum, it isn't fair on the kitten to be terrified and hunted in it's own territory, especially to the stage of messing inside the house.

gamerchick · 14/10/2022 21:17

I'm surprised this kind of dog is behaving like that. Whoever sorted it for her needs to be asked why it can't cope being around cats.

You can't have your cat being chased in it's safe space.

Quveas · 14/10/2022 21:18

I have an assiatnce dog. There is absolutely no way she has one if it behaves like this. There are many types of (real) assistance dogs, and some may be more reactive than others, but whatever the "working now" signal is, they should be and would be totally focussed on their role and nothing else.

Daisybuttercup12345 · 14/10/2022 21:18

A badly behaved assistance dog? Really?
Just keep them apart in separate rooms.
Not really hard is it!!

Oysterbabe · 14/10/2022 21:18

Can someone look after the cat for a few days or can it be shut in one room?Spending time with your mum is more important if she's having a tough time.

SarahSissions · 14/10/2022 21:19

Can’t you go out for dinner, or take a meal to her hotel room. Or pop the kitten in one room and keep the door shut?

your mum wants to see you and most hotel rooms won’t let you leave dogs unattended in the rooms

Dunnoburt · 14/10/2022 21:19

Why should the cat have to be removed from its safe space?? .......

VampireCat · 14/10/2022 21:21

I’d either invite her without the dog if possible or if not shut the dog in the kitchen away from the kitten. If open plan you’ll have to meet her elsewhere. Not fair on the cat or your laundry otherwise.

ofwarren · 14/10/2022 21:21

Is this a 'support' dog rather than a service dog OP?
I've never known one behave like that. They would never pass the tests.

Original poster
RequiemForAcat · 14/10/2022 21:21

I don’t have anybody to look after him for a few days unfortunately. I did try putting him in my room earlier with the door closed and food/drink/litter but he won’t even come out of hiding now and pooed on my towels in my room:(

OP posts:
XenoBitch · 14/10/2022 21:21

Ooh, that is tricky. One one hand, the dog would be classed as a disability aid. Denying it access would be like telling someone they are not allowed to bring their crutches.
On the other hand, it's behaviour suggests it is not that well trained. Is it actually a fully trained service animal, or is it a "support dog".

Wingingit11 · 14/10/2022 21:22

SarahSissions · 14/10/2022 21:19

Can’t you go out for dinner, or take a meal to her hotel room. Or pop the kitten in one room and keep the door shut?

your mum wants to see you and most hotel rooms won’t let you leave dogs unattended in the rooms

This !

Original poster
RequiemForAcat · 14/10/2022 21:24

Shockingly her dog trained with dog aid and passed the tests. The dog is badly behaved in many other ways too but can take off socks and shoes and open doors and pick things up etc

OP posts:
Annabananna1 · 14/10/2022 21:24

Don't terrify the kitten.

I had a kitten who had an awful fright at about a year old or just under and poor thing had awful bladder control issues ever since and it did seem to stem back to the incident. Cost an absolute fortune her whole life in vet and medical bills. Had to say goodbye to the poor little love eventually when she was 7.

Don't risk it

VampireCat · 14/10/2022 21:25

The disability and training of the dog matters- if she’s blind and it’s a proper guide dog it shouldn’t care about a cat. If it’s a questionably trained dog for a questionable medical issue (and it does happen, people have emotional support peacocks) it’s less clear cut if she could reasonably manage without it for a couple of hours.

LimeTwists · 14/10/2022 23:28

Its behaviour is totally unacceptable for an assistance dog. No, YANBU. These dogs are meant to be trained to be minimally intrusive and under their owner’s control and hers is not!

Sometimeswinning · 14/10/2022 23:35

Daisybuttercup12345 · 14/10/2022 21:18

A badly behaved assistance dog? Really?
Just keep them apart in separate rooms.
Not really hard is it!!

No dog. You go to her. There is no way I'd put a kitten through that stress!

AlwaysLatte · 14/10/2022 23:37

It sounds like this dog could do with a different home and your mum could do with a different assistance dog.

Bestcatmum · 14/10/2022 23:41

That is absurd. When I have people staying with their dog I put the cats in a bedroom with a litter tray and their food and make sure the animals don't meet. It couldn't be simpler.
You can't shove two strange animals in together and expect them to get on. Of course the kitten is going to poop its terrified.

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