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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

shocked that giving birth lying down is for doctor's benefit?

199 replies

Pepsipepsi · 14/10/2022 16:43

I've not given it too much thought before now but just came across a video saying that giving birth kneeling/standing/squatting are better birth positions than laying on back, as it opens up the hips and gravity helps.

So I Google why reclining is such a common childbirth position. And the answer basically is because it helps the medical staff see what's going on but can contribute to more pain, contractions stopping, and a longer labour. (Also some theories about how Kings used to want watch childbirth and lying down then became popular if it was seen good enough for the Royals. Could be a urban legend!)

I've read a few women's experiences agreeing with the above theory, and it's just made me feel upset and angry. Why are women suffering for medical staff convenience?
Why are we not giving women more birthing options?

Voting = YANBU giving birth using gravity makes more sense
YABU = modern medical science has come a long way and lying down is fine

OP posts:
Testina · 14/10/2022 17:16

Why didn’t you start this thread asking what the norm is?

“Why are we not giving women more birthing options?“

”We” women are.

NHS preparation class, midwife appointments, your deliver midwife - they’ll all encourage you to move around and find the position that’s best for comfort and progress.

I spent a lot of my time on my hands and knees, but delivered on my back, knees up, as the midwife helped push back a cervical lip. No pain relief needed at any time - so clearly, for some women on their back for actual delivery is fine.

If you want to get all militant about something outside your experience - at least research it?!

Harrysmummy246 · 14/10/2022 17:17

OnOldOlympus · 14/10/2022 16:55

It may surprise you to hear this, but women can be doctors too.

Show quote history

was

I.e. in the past

And it is still rather based on what works best for men....

Original poster
Pepsipepsi · 14/10/2022 17:17

muckandmerriment · 14/10/2022 17:14

I was encouraged to be in whatever position helped and lying on my back was definitely not one of them, mine are 13 and 16 now. Always makes me laugh that every time there's a birth scene in a film or TV the woman is lying on a bed on her back. I can't remember for certain but think it was one of the Kings who insisted his wife lie on her back so he could see what was happening and then everyone else started doing it because if it was good enough for the royals.....it's never made sense to me, have they never heard of gravity?

Exactly! Every time I try and imagine labour it's always on back in hospital bed - probably because TV perpetuates this. The only one that stands out is Nessa on Gavin and Stacey on all fours... "It's a home from home for me love!" 😂

OP posts:
Testina · 14/10/2022 17:18

“I'm glad I've realised the variation of birthing positions before getting pregnant.”

Well not so realised as been told 🤣
If you hadn’t posted this today, trust me you’d have found out you were misinformed long before you hit the labour suite!

Crosswithlifeatm · 14/10/2022 17:19

Mine was 19 years ago but very quick,when I was ready to Push I was put on my back to check as they didn't believe I was ready(0-10 in no time after they managed to break my waters and my undefended dd shot down and bruised her head)
They then slowed things down a bit by sticking a scalp monitor on her so I had to stay on my back.Once they released the cord from round her neck out she flew.
Why aren't birthing chairs more popular,better for women and better for midwives backs?

mumsneedwine · 14/10/2022 17:19

Doctors very rarely deliver babies in the UK ? If they do it means it's going a bit wonky so fast action required. Lying down probably best at this stage.
Midwife's had me up and walking for both labours. Climbing stairs and bouncing on the ball. Delivered on hanging off the end of the bed.

magma32 · 14/10/2022 17:19

When you need constant monitoring they will often try to put you on your back as was the case with me (hence why the obstetrician was there in the first place) but I wasn’t having any of it and just listened to my body, it was funny when they kept trying to keep the monitor on me but no way would they have dared to try to force me on my back, they can use a portable monitor if they want to so you can move around but yes they prefer you on your back to make it easier to monitor. If you personally prefer to birth on your back that’s neither here nor there but the reason doctors etc do it is so they can monitor easily, certainly not for your benefit. I thought that was common knowledge though.

speakout · 14/10/2022 17:20

I am surprised you are shocked OP.
Thankfully noways we live in a country where midwifes are the main support to women, and open to birthing choices.

babysoupdragon2 · 14/10/2022 17:21

I had two epidurals and both times gave birth on all fours. Like hell was I staying on my back despite protests from medical staff.

reigatecastle · 14/10/2022 17:21

stargirl1701 · 14/10/2022 16:54

Our entire society was run on what was best for men.

What's with the "was"?

And for the sake of religion. Women are sinful for getting pregnant (even if married) so should suffer in childbirth. So lie down and suffer you hussy.

pepsirolla · 14/10/2022 17:21

I had my first 23 years ago, was fortunate to be in a midwife led unit. Was encouraged to walk about as much as possible and kneel on bed or floor. Bed obviously easier for them bless them. Such care, in the times when you knew the midwives beforehand could discuss your birthplan, couldn't guarantee you would get "your" midwife but they were all fab and not rushed off their feet and short staffed due to years of govt underfunding

Bordesleyhills · 14/10/2022 17:22

Got induced Saturday and was expected to be on my bed or in a chair . I walked did stairs and walked outside and used the ball in a tight space. When my waters went that was much much harder as I was constantly wet and leaking and literally would have been a slip risk for anyone in the corridor…. Delivery room or what I saw of it was a ball , bathroom . It was nice space and you could move about. I didn’t stay long as emergency c section needed.

ChloeHel · 14/10/2022 17:22

I had my first on my back because I was too out of it on morphine to do anything else! Wasn’t that bad and I was only pushing for 20 mins. Just had my second last week and was much more with it, I went to lie on my back and the midwife told me to get on my knees! So I was upright on my knees and holding onto the top of the bed. In all honesty I found it more painful but that was obviously because I had no pain relief in comparison to my first! She came out within 10 mins!

WetAndRainy · 14/10/2022 17:22

I had a MW trying to get me off hand and knees - or half upright - apparently good position for large babies - and onto bed but she did leave me alone when I insisted.

But they had time limits - and took water breaking being hour I had to push even though for first 20 minutes plus I hadn't wanted to - and then she insisted had to go on bed and in stirrups - and then disappeared for 10 minutes by which time baby was crowning - the MW said it was the stirrups being a good position - not the extra 10 minutes.

Original poster
Pepsipepsi · 14/10/2022 17:22

@Testina i think I made the mistake of reading US based stories online. I'm glad a lot of UK women here had more options. I count this thread as part of my research too :)

OP posts:
Goldbar · 14/10/2022 17:25

GingerbreadPanda · 14/10/2022 17:11

No1 I was on my back, my choice and not a chance I was moving for anyone.
No2 I didn't have time to lie down so was standing.
Gravity, generally, makes things quicker. But quicker isn't always better, it often is but not always and not for me.
I tend to think being able to move if you want to is more important than actually moving if you don't.

It's different for everyone, of course, but there is some suggestion that lying on your side during the pushing stage can prevent or reduce tearing for some women as opposed to remaining in an upright position.

eyeslikebutterflies · 14/10/2022 17:26

I thought everyone knew that the lying on back, legs in stirrups thing was for the convenience of the doctors. Who at the time were mostly blokes. My mum gave birth to me in the 1970s - 3 days on her back, legs up. She said it was torture.

For me, briefly lying on my back during labour (to be examined, to see how far dilated I was) was agony, so I can only shudder at what my mum was put through. As it was, I had one induction and one back-to-back labour, both known as more painful labours. The first I was on all fours when I gave birth. The second I was fully mobile throughout and gave birth standing. Both times it helped me manage the pain. And when the midwives asked me for the last time to lie down with my back-to-back labour, I told them to do one. No way! To their credit, they agreed :)

If and when you do get pregnant, do your research then do what feels right for you. Medical intervention is a very great thing, but so is listening to your body and advocating for yourself - the latter being great practice for when you have to do it for your kids.

Wibbly1008 · 14/10/2022 17:29

stargirl1701 · 14/10/2022 16:54

Our entire society was run on what was best for men.

….Was? IMO it still is.

RosesAndHellebores · 14/10/2022 17:29

My eldest is 28 - the staff helped me on to a birthing stool when I needed to push.

My youngest is 24 - I used a birthing stool then too.

I had epidurals both times. There were points pre epidural when the pain was so great all I could do was lie down and it was too intense for me to move much at all. The Dr's were more than happy with that approach. DS1's birth got very dicey and the registrar said "that's the best position to be in" while he let me have one more push. I'll never know how I did it with that one push.

Both times I experienced extremely rude and barely competent midwives however.

I have always known the history of this. In my opinion the realmissue is that women are not assertive enough and for too long have been made to feel they must be grateful for sub-optimal care because it's "free" and aren't we lucky to have rude HCPs, poor communication, and frankly filthy and vile environments post-natally

RedWingBoots · 14/10/2022 17:29

I can't vote as your voting options are unfair.

I gave birth on my side. I tried out different positions in my NCT class and decided side ways was the way to go. Luckily I decided to do that as my DD was monitored with wires so I couldn't be too far away from the machine nor could I squat as my midwife could still check she was OK.

MrsMontyD · 14/10/2022 17:30

I last gave birth 19 years ago and could have done it in any position I felt like including in a pool. I can't imagine in the last 19 years we've gone backwards on this, have we??

RedWingBoots · 14/10/2022 17:30

.Oh and my DD is 4 years old, and I was induced.

AloysiusBear · 14/10/2022 17:30

Yanbu. I struggled to deliver my son and they insisted i lie down for monitoring, I'm sure i could have got there if i could have squatted properly

RedWingBoots · 14/10/2022 17:31

MrsMontyD · 14/10/2022 17:30

I last gave birth 19 years ago and could have done it in any position I felt like including in a pool. I can't imagine in the last 19 years we've gone backwards on this, have we??

We haven't though it helps being older, and also told by your antenatal midwives to not basically take shit.

magma32 · 14/10/2022 17:31

Midwives encourage birthing in different positions and many people who are in a midwife led birth centre won’t need to worry about lying on their backs. The moment an obstetrician is on the scene means there is a complication and they will encourage you to lie on the back and midwives can’t override that but in my experience they don’t try to force you or maybe they were just scared of me. Could be different especially in other countries where birth is medicalised from the outset and c sections are more common.