I’m the worst DIL in the world or so it seems

[Flowerpower36]

I’m close to my MIL and we’ve never exchanged a cross word in the 15 years I’ve been with DH - that is, until yesterday!

MIL is dog crazy… so am I.. and we are both the kind of people who send our dogs birthday cards (I’m sure I’ll get some stick for that on here but hey ho!).

In addition, we have always sent each other’s dog’s birthday cards each year.
probably silly I know but just a little tradition :)

However, this year, I’ve had 1,000,001 things going on recently and forgot to send her dog a card as usual.

I was completely flabbergasted to receive a phone call from MIL last night… she was very upset with me over this.

I apologised, but it seems the damage has already been done and she’s in a huge mood with me.

(do you know I’m sitting here reading this back and it seems completely absurd, I promise you all this is genuine!!!)

Am I a terrible DIL?! 😫

Gosh.

Something of an over reaction from her.

Can you blame the postal strike?

Unfortunately not… I only remembered it was her dog‘s birthday last night when she phoned me upset with me. And admitted that I had forgotten to send card!

I can only assume there's something else going on in her life and she's using the card to vent some of her stress/upset? Or she sees it as you don't care enough to send a card = don't care about her or something?

You’re definitely not a bad DIL! You just had a lot on and totally forgot.

I guess if this is a tradition it is natural to be upset over it, people might think it’s silly over a dog but I personally think it’s sweet and dogs are as just as important as family - right? (I don’t have a dog btw but I know people close to me value their dogs highly)

MIL will get over it, maybe send dog a belated birthday card lol

How could you forget the dog! I send my sisters dog a present from Amazon for his birthday. And my dog gets presents, cakes, balloons and party hats!
Could you blame the postal strike and send something from Amazon to make up for it.

I think she loves that you both do this thing for each other and feels rejected or forgotten. If you love her and she is otherwise a lovely part of your life I would send the dog an apology card and some liver cake

Send him a belated birthday card and a pack of doggy biscuits apologising for the delay.

your MIL is clearly nuts, but maybe she’s feeling a bit forgotten.

Only if you want to continue the tradition and humour her. Otherwise I’d ignore her.

I often find myself trotting out the old 'don't read the news, the world is a scary place at the moment and it's all doom and gloom right now.'

In this case, I'll relent and say your MIL might need to open up a newspaper from time to time if her biggest worry is her dog getting a birthday card.

Given her overreaction, I would suggest telling MIL that it's time to put a stop to the dog birthday cards.

She has blown it by being a nutso.

Think back OP - what other things are you doing for her that is too much but you never quite realised?

This!

I disagree. When OP apologised MIL should have calmed down and not been in huge mood with her.

MIL should not be pacified now, she is acting like a child.

She probably just wants the card to post on social media.

Send him a belated one. 😂

You MONSTER!

You should be self-flagellating and chanting hail marys while crawling over hot coals and broken glass in penance.

Could she be reading more into it? A missed call that wasn't returned and something else innocuous and then the dogs birthday card and suddenly she's created this entire narrative where you hate her? Is she feeling vulnerable about something and is very close to the edge at the moment?

only you know if this is out of character and should be forgiven and ignored or if she's a compete wagon.

That is nuts, what a silly woman.

I doubt the dog was terribly upset.

Buy a "belated happy birthday" card today, write a grovelling apology inside to the dog, and drop it over with an sirloin steak for the poor pup's supper?

Wtf? She/you’re nuts. A dog can’t read a card. I don’t get it

Poor doggie will be devastated! 😁. You could send a late one, and gently tell her that she's having a massive overreaction.

If she carries on making a fuss I'd suggest you stop with the cards from now on.

Won’t someone think of the dog!

Poor Dog, send treats

Moonpig a photo card to the dog?

whenever I forget I just act horrified and say i posted it days ago.

Phone the dog, apologise and ask if a trip to the beach will make up for it. Just you and the dog so it gets your undivided attention.

or go NC with the dog.

Pets At Home sell tiny doggy cupcakes. Buy those & stick them in the post.

Tell her you'd decided it's time to stop the dog birthday cards for environmental reasons.

Then tell her to buck up.