To wonder why some people don't work full-time?

[donniedarko89]

I was part-time myself while DD was very young as I wanted to spend time with her. I know many mums however who have stayed part time even after the kids go to school. They only work 2 or 3 days a week. The thing is, they're not loaded, on the contrary they keep complaining that finances are tight and they can't afford stuff - then why not increase your work days (they could all easily do it)? Some of them even have a cleaner. No hobbies on the side either. It genuinely puzzles me!

I worked full time in my 20s but I stopped after I had my dc and now if I returned to work I’d only return part time even if I could work full time. I enjoy being at home too much. I’d rather have less money.

I left my husband and now have no choice but to work full time again, after many years of part time work. It’s physically and mentally exhausting to work full time (my job is, admittedly quite tough) and if I could afford to go part time again, I absolutely would.

I know several other women of about my (menopausal) age (one of whom doesn’t have children) who work part time, because they found that full time was just too much. It’s really not mysterious at all.

Also, with young children, sometimes childcare plus running a car takes almost all of one partner’s wages, so the “benefit” of working five days a week instead of three might be negligible.

Another Tory post??

Lots of people I know who work p/t would take the extra hours if they were there. It's not always that easy.

Also the day off is sometimes the only downtime parents get to do errands, chores, socialising, things for themselves.

I think the point is - you're absolutely right - so hopefully that is being applied to both people in a marriage and not just the one person who works part time while the full time worker has to carry on facilitating it!

I'm not sure I'll go back full time when kids are at school. Three days is really nice!

Well you'd hate to be saddled with me, I haven't worked for 7 years 4 months and 2 weeks. Clearly my husband is bitter at my selfishness and wishes he'd picked a less feckless woman.

Or not everyone feels like you do and you need to talk to your partner and address your resentment. Why can't they get a full time job? Do they actually know you resent their lifestyle?)

Mine works part time and know many others who do…

This is one of those posts where I think the OP should just have taken ten seconds to shrug and say to themselves 'well I guess everyone's different!' rather than wasting everyone's time here trying to pretend they are puzzled by something completely non-puzzling.

Unless you are completely devoid of imagination, I'm sure you could have come up with a least a few reasons of your own as to why people might choose to work part time OP.

You can still get NI credits for working part time. You also get them if you're at home looking after a child under the age of 12 and claiming child benefit.
I have a pretty much full NI record so far, despite working only 5 years full time, 11years SAHM, and 10 years part-time.

If you didn't absolutely have to (and they're clearly getting by fine if they have cleaners etc) then why would you? I value home life more than work life and will likely work pt until we can absolutely no longer afford to.

I work 4 days a week, used to be 3 when DDs were young. They are now early 20s. I’ve no intention of going full time ever again.

DH works long hours and I’m happy to do most of the household stuff in the week as I’m around more.

Yep I think this is more common than people realise. Man may not even be away doing hobby stuff but doesn’t like woman working full time/puts barriers in way/ refuses to do school things that make it hard to work full time but isn’t sufficiently Billy big baws to earn enough for them not to have woman work at all, while being fragile enough to have family go a bit short on a comfortable life to keep their own ego in tact.

Among many reasons I’m pondering exactly what is wrong with a lot of men these days!

Too many family commitments - very elderly grandparents, elderly parents in poor health, grandchildren that you want to see/help out with...?! Quite aside from personal health and/ or mental health issues...

@CrushingAndClueless

I agree.

I’m a single parent, when my son was younger I worked 3 days a week, upped it to 4 when he turned 16. I’m 57, I have no intention of ever working on Fridays again.
I have no mortgage, no car, so we manage a comfortable life. I can afford UK holidays, occasional meals out, breakfast out once a week, theatre/cinema/ gigs once or twice a month.
We have enough and I’m happy with that. I’d rather have the extra day to spend on my allotment.

That is what I thought. Why is the OP getting such a hard time? She asked a specific question, but of course loads of posters didn’t bother to read her OP and have piled on.

I can think of some reasons for women with children of school age, who don’t need childcare and who could increase their working days, to continue to work part time. The real reasons. I won’t post them though!

*Well you'd hate to be saddled with me, I haven't worked for 7 years 4 months and 2 weeks. Clearly my husband is bitter at my selfishness and wishes he'd picked a less feckless woman.

Or not everyone feels like you do and you need to talk to your partner and address your resentment. Why can't they get a full time job? Do they actually know you resent their lifestyle?)*

This has obviously touched a deep nerve for you and I'm sorry about that. Circumstances are what they are and you can't always change them. Same with me. Yes, my husband knows and he'd quite like things to be different but there are many many reasons why they can't be - doesn't mean I have to love it, but I do just need to get on with it.

Everyone is saying you shouldn't be a slave to work, part time is better, work life balance etc - wouldn't it be nice if it could be for everyone though. I'd love more time for myself!

Because we were not born to work for elites for nothing, and it does not actually pay any more?

Indeed. I routinely say I can't afford to do something if I just don't want to do it. People tend to believe it because I (gasp!) work part time. It's got me out of several holidays with my terrible in laws!

All of my children are now at school, and I have just gone part time. I bloody love it, and doubt I’ll ever go full time again! Well I might, but not unless I retrain and do something other than teaching.

I haven't worked full time for over 20 years ... I value my work / life balance and I've always been involved in volunteering in the community which to me is vital to keep our society going. (But I never moaned about not having enough money - I adjust my expectations accordingly). I guess my DH did 'facilitate' my part time status for many years but now I have 'facilitated' his early retirement whilst I continue with my part time job ... it works for us .

Dont mean to derail but agree with this. I totally support people’s right to work part time if they can afford it and it suits their life. TBH I would probably drop a day if I could afford it.

But I really dislike this narrative that implies people who like to work only do so because they are “boring” or can’t think of anything else to do with their time or will “work until they drop and miss out on their family” etc.

Presumably you realise:

• Not everyone has a choice in the matter and
• It’s possible both to work FT and enjoy family life. Lots of us manage it.

In fact he was going to add on some extra hours on his days off then we decided it may be better to keep his days off. We are doing okay, obviously if we desperately needed the money he would work more as his career never suffered and that he doesn’t have the health problems I do but even then we don’t need the latest everything and have taught my kids they aren’t going to be indulged completely so we are okay for now.

I think it really disadvantages women, mothers in particular, to perpetuate a view that childcare is the only reason to work part-time.

My last team at work, out of 24 people had 8 working part-time, ranging from 4.5 days to 3 days. Of those, only 3 (2 women and 1 man) did so for childcare reasons. It really helped to foster the idea that flexible working is for anyone (who can afford it) and reduced the likelihood of women being penalised because they'd go part-time once they had children.

We all had different reasons for wanting to do it and all were seen as equally valid.