To wonder why some people don't work full-time?

[donniedarko89]

I was part-time myself while DD was very young as I wanted to spend time with her. I know many mums however who have stayed part time even after the kids go to school. They only work 2 or 3 days a week. The thing is, they're not loaded, on the contrary they keep complaining that finances are tight and they can't afford stuff - then why not increase your work days (they could all easily do it)? Some of them even have a cleaner. No hobbies on the side either. It genuinely puzzles me!

For example-
childcare after school and in school holidays unavailable/ unaffordable or impossible (i.e neurodiverse kids)
illness
no suitable jobs and difficult to retrain
caring responsibilities not the kids (parents/ other relatives)
not really skint but making conversation
don’t really care that much even if they are skint and value the time off/ family commitments more
building own business
studying
personal choice

@Eurydice84 OP this is quite a goady subject, not a journal are you? It's really an individuals personal choice and we should not be judgemental either way frankly. What is a more interesting question is why don't more men don't work part time.

There are so many different factors at play which all have to be balanced against eachother, everyone's circumstances will be unique to them and this is why you cannot pigeon hole people. Some but not all reasons for working part time or full time could include:

Health
Family or societal expectations or pressure
Income
Enjoyment of job or level of job attained
Easy of travel to job
Compatability of job with childcare, work policies and expectations of employer
Availability of part time work in chosen work field
Availability of jobs compatable with childcare
Access to desired jobs.e.g. educational barriers
Spouse earning and future earning potential
Stability of relationship with spouse
Cost of childcare
Availability of childcare such as after-school clubs and holiday clubs
Availability of government funding for childcare
Single or in a relationship
Availablity of childcare support from family/friends/spouse
Future pension
Future ability to secure a job/CV
Savings and assets
Desire to be a role model
Desire to maintain or extend existing lifestyle
Work ambitions
Number of children/dependants
Health of children
Schooling type e.g home schooling
Desire to spend more time with children

You honestly cannot win with this choice.
I work full time by 'choice'. I have been criticised by other mums for choosing my work over my kids. I love my son, I would die for him. Likewise I have witnessed (including on this forum) other people calling mums working part time lazy..

Neither is right..life is not black and white like that, there is more subtlety and nuance!

I do understand your point OP and feel that those of us choosing to work FT are getting a hard time! I choose to work FT as does DH. We choose to work hours that allows one of us to do the morning school run and the other picks up after school. Our children certainly don't miss out and 2 FT wages mean we have been able to spend long periods of time travelling and experiencing life as a family. We can afford a cleaner so our time at home is free time. As a woman I feel more enriched when working and mentally stimulated. It makes me happy which makes me a better parent.

For the love of god. Isn’t it obvious that the OP isn’t asking about people who have disabled children, or partners, or who are themselves disabled? Does she have to spell everything out, with a full set of exclusions?

This thread is fascinating. What’s prompting the bile from the part timers, particularly those who clearly don’t fall into the scope of the OP’s question? Why the determination to paint people who work full time as boring, devoid of hobbies or non-work interests and neglectful of their children or homes? I can guess!

Found FT hard as in no downtime for anything. I help on a school bus so Im home mid morning. Means I get other things done take dog out etc. I have less money but more time. Suits us

Can you really not figure this out?
when I was working, I did 4 days and would have gone down to 3 days if I could have. The extra money from me doing 5 days would have been great, but it benefitted our family for me to have a day off to pick up the housework/errands/appointments/have time to myself to meet a friend for lunch etc.

I now don’t work at all (due to a disabled child) and money is tight, but honestly our family is benefiting from having me at home and I can see why having a SAHP benefits all of my dc. It’s definitely not for everyone and I’m honestly not judging anyone for working, I worked until my eldest was 16, but life is less stressful and far less rushed now I’m at home.

there is far more to life than having money. And honestly, even when I was working It felt like we were skint, My friend, no dc, earning 50k plus is always moaning about being skint, she spends what she has available and when that’s gone, she is skint. Priorities I guess.

Imagine not working at all because you’d rather have more free time and go on benefits and then moan to everyone that you have no money.

It’s not the working PT that OP is questioning.
There are many reasons why someone wants to work PT, just like there are many reasons people don’t work at all.

It’s the moaning about money when you have an option to change that.

Either get a full time job or stop moaning.

Every person would want to work PT if they could afford it, to spend more time with their DCs, do housework or simply to have free time for themselves.

It’s very offensive to say you work PT and then moan about it, knowing it’s a luxury that the majority of people don’t have.

Think OP has a point. Many people choose to work part time for many different reasons. I did for more than 10 years. But you then can't complain about money being tight. We all make choices.

Because they want to see their children after school, don’t want to use wrap around every day and because working is basically rubbish..

I feel exactly the same as you @spaspanishmumireland . Someone said mine is a Tory post. It can't be fair away from the truth. I insist on paying my way through my relationship, so that DH can spend time with DD as well, and enjoy flexible working. I know this is my own mindset and I respect people who choose differently, but I question choosing to work very few hours, having the choice and with no healthcare reasons, when finances are tight. I would feel really guilty towards DH, putting him under a lot of stress.

I'd rather be a little bit poor than spend the majority of my waking hours making money for someone else. That said, I work in education, I'm not making anymore money 😂 I just value my MH more than money.

I work part time - I work every day but arrange my hours so i can do school.drop.off and pick up. I was passed around to various friends of my mum, childminders, and random people after school etc.. when my mum worked full time, and I didn't want that for my children. I always swore I'd be there for them at school.pick up time. They also both have after school activities, so couldn't go to after school club even if I wanted them to. Not sure why you are that bothered about other people's life choices.

I’m late fifties and have worked part time for over 20 years despite our ds being an adult. I work 3 days a week which means I can get everything done so mine and dp’s weekends are completely free to do whatever we want. Time together is more important than money. Bit old fashioned I suppose but it works for us.

I work part time and on my two days off I do errands, housework, sort the loft, go to yoga, and get a bit of downtime from the relentlessness of parenting. It is about 10 hours to myself and still not enough!

Some people earning money without “working” a 9-5 job

if that’s what you want to do fine but not everyone does, people are different

I had an ex who had a company and worked about 25 hrs a week, much easier passive & some work he contracted out. He was comfortable with his income

Because other people have different lives to you, different set ups and different values. Its not that puzzling.

Irrespective of working part time, it's odd to complain of money being tight if you have a cleaner.

To me it's really a no brainer to be equal in a relationship equal as in status, value etc or each contributing 50% earner income to the pot?

Their benefits reduce if they earn over a certain amount so not worth working full time when you can get the same income and more free time working part-time (and pay less tax). This has been going on for years.

I’d have a look at the thread that’s running which asks AIBU never to work full time again. That might explain it to you.

Personally, I struggle to understand why more people don’t work part-time….partly a tongue in cheek response to OP.

Most people would like to work less than they do I suspect.

I work 32 hours a week,and can essentially set my own hours and I love it. Would never go back to full time as it's just too stressful and takes up too much of your life.

@WombatChocolate

Does your oh worl part time?

Does it not occur to you that people just don’t want to? That the job they applied for was only part time and no full time position was a available? And that job was better than no job?

im part time. I took a career break after maternity leave ended as my mum died when he was a month old. I then decided to go term time and that lasted 7 years. The money was shit so i was offered a post (no interview as they were desperate) in local government through a friend and i took the job. 30 hours and its enough. I have a great work/life balance.

🤣 Shit, if I could afford it I wouldn’t work at all. Well I might start my own little business but it’d be something that I’d too out if passion not necessity to earn a living.

I wouldn’t be bored either, plenty of hobbies and interests to fill my days.