To consider paid help?

[MagsR2356]

I wasn’t sure where to post this!
I’m due a baby anytime in next 2-4 weeks (depending on when they decide to arrive!) and I’m wondering about getting some extra help for afterwards.

We have no family nearby to help (or that would even consider trying to help!) and we have two dogs both high energy and young (ones only 6 months old) and my husband works away some weeks and late shifts some weeks too, there’s no set pattern.

I’m wondering whether to use some of my maternity pay and savings to get a nanny for a short while &/or dog walkers? Or too indulgent and waste of savings? I had postnatal depression last time really badly and also worried about this and wondering if some help might be beneficial for my mental health too!

… So has anyone had a nanny for a newborn or walkers for dogs? Can you tell me what you found the most helpful for the first few months as I cannot remember the early days and I think I’ve blocked it all away in my memory!

...do you really need a nanny for a newborn? Maybe a cleaner and the dog Walker yes.

Get a cleaner and a dog walker.
Stock up on nice microwavable ready meal and/or batch cook in advance.

Thanks I can’t think straight atm and can’t decide what would be most helpful short term I struggle mentally and with lack of sleep and sad about lack of support! I guess dog walkers would be the cheapest option too

Many women have nannies for newborns

I’d look into night nanny’s and a dog walker to begin with.

I’d get a dog walker and a cleaner if needed. I’d want to look after my
own baby though

It’s not at all unreasonable to have paid help if you need or want it, but I think it’s worth waiting until after the birth to make a decision on the nanny.

Cleaners, dog-walkers, handymen etc. are a bit different, and there’s no reason to hold off on those but you may find that you really don’t want to use a nanny.

A night nanny would be a dream if you aren’t planning to breastfeed. If your planning to bf, then I’m not sure they would be that helpful.

dog Walker and cleaner sounds fab.

How about a housekeeper. We have a lady who will do anything for us for the hours she spends at our house. I think this would include dog walking as well as cleaning and tidying, she does our washing which is a real help.

My dog goes to daycare and have carried that bin for each mat leave. Walking one with a pram/sling is a ball ache, couldn’t imagine 2 (1being a pup).

would love a cleaner too.

maybe look at someone for ad hoc help if you need overnight help or like a mothers help?

good luck op, think you are sensible to consider putting something in place to support you.

Absolutely dog Walker & a cleaner. We have a dog Walker 3 days a week & continued it when we had a new born so I didn’t have to worry about them getting exercised cost about £45 a week but meant they got decent exercise 3/7 days. Although once I was recovered it was nice to walk them with baby strapped to my chest.

i would recommend an Ergo 360 baby carrier for walking with dogs as baby feels much more secure than in the soft wraps

Cleaner once a month for a full deep clean? Might be better than coming every week whilst you are getting settled into a new routine / way of life

good luck!

If you are considering paying for a nanny anyway can your husband not just take extra time off? How long is he planning to take off to support you? That way the help is a bit more flexible each day depending on your needs, one morning he could take the baby out if you needed a break, then he could walk the dogs later in the day and also just generally be helping you in the day.

We hired a maternity nurse for a few weeks after DC1 - best decision we made. She was with us 24 hours a day for 5 days a week and took the baby overnight and brought her into me throughout the night to breastfeed. It was expensive but we saved for it, and it allowed me to recover, sleep well and learn a lot from her too! Some people might find it overwhelming to have a relative stranger in the home living with you right after giving birth though

Cleaner, dog walker, high quality ready meals in freezer eg Cook.
Maybe a doula if you want some help post birth,

100% get a dog walker

Dog walker and cleaner first I think.

Then see about a night nanny if you need one once the baby arrives. I think night nanny is much better than getting a nanny so that you can sleep in the day, but doing the nights yourself, because your mental health will be much better if your awake and feeling rested during the daylight hours.

Buy in all the help you can. Good luck OP

A night nanny could just bring the baby to you to bf and then do the re settling etc for you if your are breast feeding. If your husband isn’t there, they would presumably be less awkwardness about her (let’s presume she’s a woman!) coming in to wake you.

It's no big deal. Always have paid help if you can afford it, over treats of other kinds. Time to yourself is priceless. Time not spent cleaning the bathroom or arguing about it is priceless.

It makes a lot of sense to contract out some things like the dog walking and the cleaning. Find someone good who is flexible, treat them well, they will make your life so much better, especially if you don't have any family close enough to help.

My only caution is to rethink why you are thinking of paying for it out of your maternity pay. Surely this is a household expense which you would fund however you fund all the other household expenses

Whatever you do, don't fall into the habit of thinking his money is for him and yours is for the children.

Just don't start along that path.

Absolutely enlist some help if you can afford it!
I ha a 6 month old (and a 5 year old but no pets!) MY DP had 2 months off when ds was born but even so, with establishing breastfeeding it was pretty intense/grueling at times. Don'tunderestimate how tough those first few weeks can be. I think those cultures where mothers have masses of help in the first few weeks have the right idea..I considered a doula actually but didn't go for it in the end as couldn't find anyone suitable where I am. A housekeeper sort of person would have been fab, certainly if I'd be mostly on my own, which I wasn't, would have been a godsend. Go for whatever you think would be most help. I think probably someone who can manage different tasks including dog walking, would be best.

You could also look into a mothers help or babysitter who could come and help with the older one.

I had a nanny for a newborn and it was a complete waste of money - I'd get a dog walker.

Dog walker definitely. A cleaner depends on what sort of person you are. I always ended up cleaning before the cleaner came, because I was worried she would judge me. So it actually caused more problems.

Honestly, I wouldn’t go with a nanny for a newborn, unless I had to immediately return to work, like if you worked for yourself.

Will you husband get pat leave, can he has annual leave to it and see how the first few weeks go?

I’d say a night nanny would be very helpful and dog walkers definitely. Cleaner too if you can afford it. Don’t let people put you off reaching out for support if you need it. Just because other people think they were a martyr doesn’t mean you can’t do the sensible thing and get help if you need it. Good luck with the baby.

Dog walker and cleaner. I had a doula when DD was born but she basically helped around the house so that I could just cuddle DD. It was brilliant 🤩. Be kind to yourself, particularly if you got PND last time.