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AIBU?

Child care provider - Grapes

80 replies

Lemonteased · 12/10/2022 19:00

My daughter (4 nearly 5), in reception, attends an after school club twice a week.

I found out from my daughter that she has grapes, fine, but she mentioned taking them off the bunch and eating them. I asked if anyone cuts them up first and she said no.

I questioned it with the child care provider (most communication is via text), she said they do give them whole grapes, I asked for my daughters to be cut up because they are a notorious choking hazard (I work in child health). She said no problem, job done.

A week later, she’s given whole grapes again. I ask about it and am told it was a new member of staff, they apologised and that was that.

Just been told that she’s had them again but that she had to ask for them to be cut up, they were given whole. Honestly I’m now pissed off, I think it’s an issue they are providing child care and not cutting the grapes up just as a normal safety standard. All other providers I’ve come across do this.

I asked a couple of other parents, who happen not to use this provider, they said they would also be annoyed and would never give their children whole grapes. I don’t know any of the parents that do use the provider as we all collect at different times.

Just for info they are on the school site but not run by the school at all, are ofsted registered, etc.

Ive now asked to meet with them face to face but before I do…….

Am I being precious??

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

282 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
26%
You are NOT being unreasonable
74%
StirredNotShaken00 · 12/10/2022 19:11

No I agree with you completely.
Might be worth just telling them she can't have grapes at all to avoid further issues?

mrsnjw · 12/10/2022 19:11

My children are 13 and 15 and I still cut grapes in half for them!! I think I go into auto pilot and cut them. I teach nursery so 3 and 4 year old and we don't get grapes as part of our free fruit for schools. I would defo be cutting them. I'm the same with lollys. I can't stand them, especially when children are running around with them in their mouths! I would email the school x

wonderingwhatsnext · 12/10/2022 19:12

Definitely not being unreasonable.

MrsPicklesonSmythe · 12/10/2022 19:15

I'm not even slightly precious but I'd not be happy about that at all and I'd want assurances that they are off the menu entirely seeing as you now can't trust it

Pilotlite · 12/10/2022 19:15

I had to remove my DD from a childminder for this reason. It’s hard if they (the childcare) don’t listen. I think I posted on here at the time and another poster gave me a tip to also teach your kids to squash or “pop” a grape before they eat it. Shouldn’t replace an adult cutting them up but is a good safety net.

Thesearmsofmine · 12/10/2022 19:17

YANBU, this is pretty basic stuff for anyone working with children.

Lemonteased · 12/10/2022 19:21

They actually told me they’d taken them off the shopping list the second time it happened, and they she had them again today 😡.

Thank you all I will be speaking to them and emailing the school too, I’m pretty sure it’s run separate but can’t hurt.

OP posts:
PinkPencilCase · 12/10/2022 19:24

You're definitely not being unreasonable, they should be changing their policy to cut grapes for all the kids, not making an exception for your daughter. It's a well known risk.

ClocksGoingBackwards · 12/10/2022 19:25

YANBU because it sounds like they’re being senseless, but there’s nothing wrong with a small group of young children being served whole grapes by a competent adult who supervises and teaches them to bite them safely.

ASandwichNamedKevin · 12/10/2022 19:30

That's really bad, I would not be impressed. Some parents might not realise the children get grapes. I wouldn't take the excuse about a new member of staff, they should all know the risks!

Cantanka · 12/10/2022 19:32

Be interested to hear the reasoning of one of the 24% who have voted YABU

Ihaveoflate · 12/10/2022 19:32

YANBU

I knew a four year old who choked to death on a whole grape. I just can't believe people working in a childcare setting could be so cavalier about it.

Newuser82 · 12/10/2022 19:34

Oh I'd be so worried about this. My sons friend who is 10 choked on a grape the other week. Luckily he dislodged it but I still cut them up for my 9 year old!

PorcupinePie · 12/10/2022 19:34

Am I the only person who didn't know this about grapes?! I've taught my almost 3yo to bite them in half and eat one half at a time but that's mostly to slow him down and stop him shovelling handfuls in at a time. I never cut them. How long are you supposed to keep cutting them up for??

Itsfallingwithstyle · 12/10/2022 19:35

YADNBU

Blondeshavemorefun · 12/10/2022 19:35

It’s common sense and a safety issue

all childcare’s should be cutting grapes till least 8;

Pufflings · 12/10/2022 19:38

I still cut them for my four and eight yr old but they’re both very greedy and would shovel whole grapes in given the chance. I would expect a childcare practitioner to do the same as it only takes a few minutes.

CaptaNoctem · 12/10/2022 19:40

PorcupinePie · 12/10/2022 19:34

Am I the only person who didn't know this about grapes?! I've taught my almost 3yo to bite them in half and eat one half at a time but that's mostly to slow him down and stop him shovelling handfuls in at a time. I never cut them. How long are you supposed to keep cutting them up for??

I googled this -

The USA experts (American Academy of Pediatrics) say 4

The Canadian ones age 5

The NHS seems strangely silent but refers to babies and toddlers

Flubbler · 12/10/2022 19:46

Yanbu at all. This is a disagreement I have with my ex, our dd loves grapes and he refuses to cut them up despite me asking nicely and at some points begging. It gives me the rage, I am quite anxious and overprotective but glad the responses on here make me feel better!

MaliMom · 12/10/2022 19:56

I choked at 13 on grapes always cut them up adult or child it's just not worth the risk for the sake of a few moments to cut them

Sparklythings1 · 12/10/2022 19:58

I went to the toddlers with my little boy and couldn’t believe the snack was whole grapes 🤔 I thought everyone knew by now not to give them like that?

Lemonteased · 12/10/2022 19:58

I do worry about it a lot, I also know of a child (friend of a friend) who choked on a grape, coma and then sadly died.

I agree my daughter shouldn’t be the exception and this should be done as standard. I will be raising this fact with them

I feel like the trust has gone regardless

OP posts:
SilverGlitterBaubles · 12/10/2022 20:07

One of my DCs choked on one picking and eating them off the bunch when they were older than grape cutting age. Thankfully I was in the room and after many absolutely terrifying attempts to release it they eventually coughed and threw up. I will never forget the silence and my child's face looking at me in terror and panic as they could not breathe at all. I am so grateful that I was there as they wouldn't have been able to call for help and who knows what the outcome would have been. So when it comes to grapes and your child's safety make no apologies and be as precious as you can OP.

I don't even buy grapes anymore Blush

Helendee · 12/10/2022 20:14

Teach your child to squash them before eating them.
I am a childminder and never give grapes or cherry tomatoes, I also tell parents not to send those items in as I will just return them.

ILoveMonday · 12/10/2022 20:25

I read the choking risk is mainly because children under the age of 4 don't have a fully developed oesophagus - apparently it's funnel shaped so foods which are round are more likely to obstruct the airways. In theory, all children over the age of 5 should be okay to eat whole grapes. I do think it's the parent's responsibility to teach their child how to eat and to supervise the eating of choking hazards. However, eating and chewing is an important skill to learn so at the appropriate age, please teach your child. Cutting grapes and cherry tomatoes for a 10 year old is just weird.

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