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AIBU?

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Original poster

Child care provider - Grapes

80 replies

Lemonteased · 12/10/2022 19:00

My daughter (4 nearly 5), in reception, attends an after school club twice a week.

I found out from my daughter that she has grapes, fine, but she mentioned taking them off the bunch and eating them. I asked if anyone cuts them up first and she said no.

I questioned it with the child care provider (most communication is via text), she said they do give them whole grapes, I asked for my daughters to be cut up because they are a notorious choking hazard (I work in child health). She said no problem, job done.

A week later, she’s given whole grapes again. I ask about it and am told it was a new member of staff, they apologised and that was that.

Just been told that she’s had them again but that she had to ask for them to be cut up, they were given whole. Honestly I’m now pissed off, I think it’s an issue they are providing child care and not cutting the grapes up just as a normal safety standard. All other providers I’ve come across do this.

I asked a couple of other parents, who happen not to use this provider, they said they would also be annoyed and would never give their children whole grapes. I don’t know any of the parents that do use the provider as we all collect at different times.

Just for info they are on the school site but not run by the school at all, are ofsted registered, etc.

Ive now asked to meet with them face to face but before I do…….

Am I being precious??

OP posts:
SilverGlitterBaubles · 12/10/2022 20:28

@ILoveMonday My DC was older than this when they choked.

Fiddledeedeeee · 12/10/2022 20:33

I’m pretty sure it’s something they’d be marked down for on an inspection. One of the nurseries we looked at was because they failed to cut up sausages lengthways, only into discs. YANBU

oviraptor21 · 12/10/2022 20:36

Everyone should learn how to chew. I'd say 5 or 6 would be a reasonable age to expect them to have learnt this.
My DS, aged about 2, choked on a hula hoop at a party. Fortunately I was able to dislodge it with a version of a Heimlich manoeuvre but it was very scary at the time so I'd caution against all kinds of smaller foods at that age, not just grapes.

NothingIsWrong · 12/10/2022 20:39

I put grapes in my Y5 lunchbox and still cut them. School ask us to do this

Mamai90 · 12/10/2022 20:43

ILoveMonday · 12/10/2022 20:25

I read the choking risk is mainly because children under the age of 4 don't have a fully developed oesophagus - apparently it's funnel shaped so foods which are round are more likely to obstruct the airways. In theory, all children over the age of 5 should be okay to eat whole grapes. I do think it's the parent's responsibility to teach their child how to eat and to supervise the eating of choking hazards. However, eating and chewing is an important skill to learn so at the appropriate age, please teach your child. Cutting grapes and cherry tomatoes for a 10 year old is just weird.

You are aware that many adults have choked to death? Do you think it was because they didn't know how to chew appropriately? 🙄

purplejungle · 12/10/2022 20:43

Very worrying that they're not doing this automatically. Even if they start cutting them I would want to know they understand about cutting them lengthways, as the other way is just as dangerous as not cutting them.

TroublesComing32 · 12/10/2022 20:48

Yeah I’m a type that doesn’t like to cause any fuss but I would say something about this, I never give my kids grapes that aren’t cut up so I wouldn’t want anyone else to, it’s not safe.

MomwasCasual · 12/10/2022 21:21

PorcupinePie · 12/10/2022 19:34

Am I the only person who didn't know this about grapes?! I've taught my almost 3yo to bite them in half and eat one half at a time but that's mostly to slow him down and stop him shovelling handfuls in at a time. I never cut them. How long are you supposed to keep cutting them up for??

I've stopped cutting for my 24 and 22 year olds, but would still do it for the 15 year old.

I'm only half joking Grin

I'm really careful when I eat grapes tbh- smooth rounded shaped foods are ver arf to dislodge if they stick in the throat, and I can choke on my own saliva these days ffs

MomwasCasual · 12/10/2022 21:22

Ver arf?

Very hard.

BeanStew22 · 12/10/2022 23:01

YADNBU: they sound very slapdash

Teach your child to squish whole grapes but also tackle this childcare provider

@daffodilandtulip : thank you for the post, I learned a couple of things here!

Teder · 12/10/2022 23:12

The problem isn’t lack of chewing chewing for small children. The problem is that perfectly round foods like sausages and grapes are the perfect shape and size to block a small child’a airway. So, it’s not comparable to the generic choking risk.

YANBU OP, it’s a simple and easy thing to do. A local toddler died not that long ago due to a sausage that wasn’t cut up.

surreygirl1987 · 12/10/2022 23:21

I am absolutely amazed that somw people think that this is okay. Of COURSE grapes need cutting up! I'd be furious. If I were you I'd take some research/ data on the importance of cutting up grapes to your face to face meeting.

justanotherlaura · 12/10/2022 23:56

A child died at a local nursery to me maybe 10 years ago, he choked on a whole grape. I'm paranoid about grapes now

Kakinkankakoo · 13/10/2022 00:02

CaptaNoctem · 12/10/2022 19:40

I googled this -

The USA experts (American Academy of Pediatrics) say 4

The Canadian ones age 5

The NHS seems strangely silent but refers to babies and toddlers

Show quote history

I did a paediatrician choking course recently and we were told that everyone should cut their grapes first, even adults, as they are that dangerous.

Kakinkankakoo · 13/10/2022 00:03

PaediatricPaediatric

Seemsok · 13/10/2022 00:05

I am an extremely relaxed Grandma and will give in to most demands from my grandchild…but absolutely no way will my grandchild have grapes unless I cut them in half !
I worked in AE and witnessed the consequences of a child going to PITU after choking on a grape in a supermarket ..no no no !

MrsSkylerWhite · 13/10/2022 00:06

No, not unreasonable at all. As a 58 year old, I still bite grapes in half when I eat them.

Looneytune253 · 13/10/2022 07:39

I'm a childminder and the other surprising things they don't tell you are popcorn, marshmallows and bananas!! I see people giving little ones whole bananas all the time and they're apparently the worse for risk due to the size and consistency

5zeds · 13/10/2022 07:59

I don’t cut up grapes. My teeth do the cutting. A small child’s I would cut ALL their food into mouth sized pieces because they can’t but surely an almost 5 year old has been able to bite a grape and not overfill their mouth for some time?

Newuser82 · 13/10/2022 10:08

ILoveMonday · 12/10/2022 20:25

I read the choking risk is mainly because children under the age of 4 don't have a fully developed oesophagus - apparently it's funnel shaped so foods which are round are more likely to obstruct the airways. In theory, all children over the age of 5 should be okay to eat whole grapes. I do think it's the parent's responsibility to teach their child how to eat and to supervise the eating of choking hazards. However, eating and chewing is an important skill to learn so at the appropriate age, please teach your child. Cutting grapes and cherry tomatoes for a 10 year old is just weird.

But accidents can still happen. Yes I'm sure it is really rare for an older child to choke on a grape but like I said my sons 10year old friend did just that. Luckily with a big smack on the back he vomited and dislodged it but his mother was right next to him and there is no way of getting them out if they get stuck. And he had just one grape in his mouth, not like he was ramming them in. No hardship to cut them up.

Icannoteven · 13/10/2022 10:24

YABU. It's advised that grapes are cut up for under 4's because the shape of a pre-schoolers windpipe is very different to that of an adult (more of a cone shape, which increases the risk of food getting lodged). By the time a child is 4 their windpipe is more of a tube shape so they choking risk is lower. You can teach your child to bite grapes in half before putting them in their mouth, as a work around.

I think if asc are having to chop up grapes for 20-30 kids or more then they are probably less inclined to serve them.

Teder · 14/10/2022 17:48

5zeds · 13/10/2022 07:59

I don’t cut up grapes. My teeth do the cutting. A small child’s I would cut ALL their food into mouth sized pieces because they can’t but surely an almost 5 year old has been able to bite a grape and not overfill their mouth for some time?

If they get distracted and forget to chew and accidentally swallow a piece of food whole, it’s a far more catastrophic risk if it’s a grape or cherry tomato though. I wouldn’t cut a 5 year olds fish fingers into tiny pieces, the choking risk is much much lower.

i also think it’s different if it’s a parent with their child vs in a childcare setting. There isn’t the same level of supervision if they decide to excitedly shove down a grape without chewing. They’re just forgetful at that age still.