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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About parents evening?

223 replies

Drstrange · 12/10/2022 18:39

I feel I need to start this by saying that this is not a teacher bashing thread. I think they do a fabulous job and I fully support them in their work.

We have just received a letter home about “parents meetings”, during Covid the traditional evening was replaced with a virtual meeting with the class teacher, brilliant that they tried to keep in touch and provide updates on my child’s progress during challenging times. However, the pandemic has moved on but school are still operating a virtual system for these meetings. The slots for the upcoming meetings are 2.30-5pm on one afternoon and 2.30-4.30pm on another afternoon.

Whilst I understand this ensures that teachers get home at a reasonable time what about parents or carers who work? How are they meant to arrange to attend? There is no option at all for any later than 5pm, and from previous experience of booking the slots, unless you are on there as soon as they’re released then you are only left with limited options to book. AIBU to think there should be some options to book in the early evening, parents evenings have always been a standard thing in teaching?

OP posts:
ReeseWitherfork · 12/10/2022 18:41

YANBU. But as you say, neither are the teachers. The teachers may be more able to do the evenings if they weren’t overworked in every other aspect. There’s got to be a solution to the batshittery that is secondary school parents evening but I’ll be damned if I know what it is.

Faciadipasta · 12/10/2022 18:42

I'm with you here. Our school is doing the same and it's so inconvenient. Also no face ro face and you can only log in from 1 place so unless you work together and can book a meeting room, then even if you can make the time work both parents no longer have the option of attending. I personally don't think it's good enough. Just 1 evening a term isn't really that big an ask is it?

HangOnToYourself · 12/10/2022 18:44

Ours have given the option of an email instead which is much better for me

Original poster
Drstrange · 12/10/2022 18:44

Absolutely @Faciadipasta , there is no option for both parents to dial in

OP posts:
GloriousGlory · 12/10/2022 18:44

Faciadipasta · 12/10/2022 18:42

I'm with you here. Our school is doing the same and it's so inconvenient. Also no face ro face and you can only log in from 1 place so unless you work together and can book a meeting room, then even if you can make the time work both parents no longer have the option of attending. I personally don't think it's good enough. Just 1 evening a term isn't really that big an ask is it?

No need for both parents to attend, if the appointments were later and in person , surely one parent would stay home to do tea and bedtime.

Can you not go into a private room to do the meeting, whilst at work! Negotiate a late lunch?

willthatbeall · 12/10/2022 18:45

@Faciadipasta except it's not just one evening a term is it?
I teach year 7,8,9,10,11,12 and 13 add to that a meet the tutor evening and ucas applications information evening and it adds up to several a term. I'm happy with evening though as it is realistic for all and part of the job. Love to go back to virtual though!

Faciadipasta · 12/10/2022 18:47

@willthatbeall I understand in your case that wouldn't be fair. But mu kids are in reception and it genuinely is 1 evening a term for their teachers bc they only teach 1 form
And to the PP saying both parents don't need to attend, why shouldn't we? We used to and both are just as invested in our DC!

Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov · 12/10/2022 18:47

The irony is that you would like the teacher to disrupt their working hours to facilitate your working hours.

AgapanthusandAcers · 12/10/2022 18:47

Both the DC's school and the ones DH and I work in are having late night parent's evening. I personally think it's part of the job, no matter how exhausting the late night is. So I understand why you are frustrated. I get frustrated that DC's school only have parents nights and school discos at night. All other important events are during the day and we can never attend. I totally understand your position.

Singleandproud · 12/10/2022 18:48

Just contact the school, explain the situation and chances are they will offer you an alternative.

Our school is near a hospital and many of the parents can not attend due to shift work so they let us know and then we phone home or send an email - whatever the parent prefer.

Original poster
Drstrange · 12/10/2022 18:49

I can try and schedule it in but my role is reactive so I could be pulled into something at any point so it is difficult to schedule while I’m in the office

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 12/10/2022 18:51

Is it possible to take a late lunch or work through lunch and finish early in your line of work OP?

Namechanger965 · 12/10/2022 18:52

YANBU. DDs primary did face to face this term and one in the previous spring term. But it’s primary so it only twice per year. It’s much better to be able to go in and see her books and work she’s been doing. Plus the school do a taster session of the next terms food menu and have all lost property out to look through.

jazzandh · 12/10/2022 18:52

Virtual was so much better than ftf and I speak as a parent!

DH has just been to DS2 parents evening, he left work early to get there (about 30 minutes) 5 minute slots with multiple teachers and we started at 5pm. Only needs one parent to relay the information imo.

...but online is so much easier - the appointments run to time, no waiting about for the previous parent to stop talking - if it starts late enough teachers can possibly conduct the meetings from their homes.

We had a range of times from 4-7pm though - so it did cover a wide timescale.

Mrsuntidy · 12/10/2022 18:52

YANBU. Teacher here- we have two nights in person until 8pm. We all hate it but do it because it is fair.

TheMoops · 12/10/2022 18:59

willthatbeall · 12/10/2022 18:45

@Faciadipasta except it's not just one evening a term is it?
I teach year 7,8,9,10,11,12 and 13 add to that a meet the tutor evening and ucas applications information evening and it adds up to several a term. I'm happy with evening though as it is realistic for all and part of the job. Love to go back to virtual though!

But surely you knew that when you took the job?

OnlyHams · 12/10/2022 19:00

YABU

You’re the kids parent, so onus is on you to be inconvenienced by school related activities.

No harm asking if they could offer a slightly later slot and see.

SleepingStandingUp · 12/10/2022 19:00

Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov · 12/10/2022 18:47

The irony is that you would like the teacher to disrupt their working hours to facilitate your working hours.

But surely it corms around for the teachers who are parents too. They can't go to parents evening if it finishes early either.

SleepingStandingUp · 12/10/2022 19:03

Last terms one ran til 5 but this term its 7.00 Which means not having to take twins in a buggy us 4 steps into a portacabin that doesn't have space between the tables to park them. For which I'm very grateful.

Original poster
Drstrange · 12/10/2022 19:04

@Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov its not about me inconveniencing their hours, when people go into teaching they are aware of the need for parents evenings just as a doctor knows there will be an element of nights

OP posts:
Airymanning · 12/10/2022 19:05

I've always gone into reception and done it after school on a day that suits. No big deal. Just explain.

jgw1 · 12/10/2022 19:05

Drstrange · 12/10/2022 19:04

@Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov its not about me inconveniencing their hours, when people go into teaching they are aware of the need for parents evenings just as a doctor knows there will be an element of nights

@Drstrange when parents have children are they aware that they are responsible for them and it means that they can't always do what they want as much as they used to be able to?

Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov · 12/10/2022 19:06

Similarly when you have kids you presumably are prepared for disruption in your working day?

Original poster
Drstrange · 12/10/2022 19:06

I have no issue with them choosing to continue virtually as it helps to control the time frame of each appointment and the letter does state that if any longer is needed then an appointment can be arranged with the class teacher. My issue is with the time slots that the appointments are available in in the first instance.

OP posts:
TheMoops · 12/10/2022 19:09

when parents have children are they aware that they are responsible for them and it means that they can't always do what they want as much as they used to be able to?

What like work?

Parental engagement is important. Running parents evenings at a time when many parents aren't available isn't a great way of encouraging parents to engage with the school.