About parents evening?

[Drstrange]

I feel I need to start this by saying that this is not a teacher bashing thread. I think they do a fabulous job and I fully support them in their work.

We have just received a letter home about “parents meetings”, during Covid the traditional evening was replaced with a virtual meeting with the class teacher, brilliant that they tried to keep in touch and provide updates on my child’s progress during challenging times. However, the pandemic has moved on but school are still operating a virtual system for these meetings. The slots for the upcoming meetings are 2.30-5pm on one afternoon and 2.30-4.30pm on another afternoon.

Whilst I understand this ensures that teachers get home at a reasonable time what about parents or carers who work? How are they meant to arrange to attend? There is no option at all for any later than 5pm, and from previous experience of booking the slots, unless you are on there as soon as they’re released then you are only left with limited options to book. AIBU to think there should be some options to book in the early evening, parents evenings have always been a standard thing in teaching?

That's not quite true. Schools have a legal obligation to provide parents with one opportunity to discuss their child's progress at some point before the end of the summer term. What this looks like and when it happens is entirely up to the headteacher. If he/she wanted, the obligation could be met by offer parents a pre-booked ten minute phone call during the school day, in the final half-term of the year, that they could either opt in or out of.

Most schools go beyond this (rightly so, in my opinion). In mine, we have three written reports over the year, two formal parental consultation evenings set across 4 evenings and one informal open door consultation at the end of the year following the final report. But we don't have to offer all of those: there is no legal duty to.

I’m glad I actually know teachers in real life, and know what they’re dealing with, because if my main impression of teachers was the loudest voices on MN I’d just think they were all clueless and sneery about life outside teaching.

No, not everybody can pop out to an empty meeting room for ‘just 10 minutes’ as and when they like. That’s not how everybody’s jobs work. No, not everyone can ‘just take the afternoon off’ on short notice (my school gives a week’s notice of parents’ evening times) - plenty of us have to ask for the afternoon off, and our workplaces can and do say “no”. I’ve had colleagues who’ve been refused time off for things like emergency dentist appointments (‘just move it’) and told to move scheduled operations. And I’m in the nice cuddly public sector!

And as for “no other profession involves staying late without getting paid overtime” or “did you know teachers have had a real-time pay cut for years and years now” - er, join the very large club…

My kids are a decade apart in age and things have changed so much. When my son was at primary parents evening was indeed in the evening so parents could go on the way home from work. I used to have to leave an hour early but that was fine.

My daughter is at the same primary but now parents evening is during the school day only. The head teacher's explanation for the change was that not many of the teachers were local and staying late after school made them late home.

I can see both sides. Teaching seems to have expanded into a massive 50-60 hour a week job and I can see why teachers don't want to add more to it. But it's a huge pain for working parents. I actually preferred the virtual meetings during the pandemic because it was easier to fit into my working day and was a defined slot. No waiting around for little Johnny's mum whose appointment overran because she couldn't stop waffling about lost property etc.

I think these are the things that niggle the most.

1. If it's during the school day, aren't the teachers supposed to be actually teaching during that time?

1. Lack of notice. We get one week notice and only certain times across 2 particular days are available. I can't usually get a half day leave at such short notice. I have meetings and appointments booked in (solicitor). On two occasions it just hasn't been possible for me or my husband to attend so I haven't booked a slot. Then the head teacher phoned to "tell me off".

1. Why why why call it parents evening if all the appointments are between 10am and 2pm??? I know I'm pedantic but that is not an evening! Really gets on my tits.

Did you not realise when you had kids that sometimes life gets interrupted to attend various kid related events

I attend the meeting. As I did at an ungodly hour just this morning, outside of my usual contracted hours. Did I get paid overtime? No. But occasional flexibility is part of my job, as it is with most jobs above minimum wage.

@Bizawit

Yep, same here. I've done early morning meetings for clients as early as 7am and as late as midnight. I don't get paid overtime. It's just something that is necessary now and again when you have a professional role.

So you want your teacher to get in at 7am just for you, that's quite entitled.

Lack of notice. We get one week notice and only certain times across 2 particular days are available. I can't usually get a half day leave at such short notice.

This is my biggest frustration and it's an issue that is so easily solved.

The problem really is that so many schools (not necessarily teachers) are completely out of touch with the real world. I guess it happens if you've literally been in education your whole life.
An example is before my kids started primary we - parents - were invited to an induction meeting. Obviously we booked the time off work to attend but when we did go along we discovered the only thing they were actually doing in the "meeting" was the head teacher told everyone to download the school apps (could have emailed us) and then called up each family by the child's name to hand them an info pack. All 90 families. 1 at a time. That was literally it! I mean they could have posted and saved us all a day off work. And sure the postage would have cost money so they could have just asked us to collect from the office at a time that suits us. Ridiculous. This 'meetings need to be in school hours' seems the same kind of thing.

Yanbu.

Yes children disrupt your life, but most of us need to have full time jobs to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table, and in many jobs employers do not or cannot give an employee flexibility to attend things during working hours, even remotely.

So you want your teacher to get in at 7am just for you, that's quite entitled

Not what I said. My point was that people in a professional role do sometimes (perhaps only occasionally) work outside their core hours. I do. I don't like it but sometimes it's necessary.

I don't think I'm entitled to a 7am meeting with the teacher, no. But I would appreciate sufficient notice when a meeting is only available during the working day so that I can make necessary arrangements on good time. If I cancelled a court appearance or mediation with a week's notice because I wanted to take a day off to go to my child's parents afternoon, my client would call me more than entitled! It would be a formal complaint. Well, actually it wouldn't because my employer wouldn't let me have the time off anyway.

So no, I'm not entitled. Just trying to make a living and be a good parent, like everyone else.

Er no, the point is that occasional work / activities outside of typical working hours is a totally normal expectation in all manner of jobs.
A parents evening for ALL parents, once a year, as part of a teaching role, is a perfectly ordinary expectation.

Teachers regularly do way over their core hours. Most of my colleagues do at least 3 a day.

I think if this wasn't the case then parents evenings would be less of an issue.

I'm normally the first person to defend the idea that teachers have tough jobs and its not their role to design their lives to facilitate working parents.

But I have to say the idea that it is realistic to schedule "parents evenings" between 2.30pm and 4.30pm is ridiculously out of touch. Even in very conservative, rural communities, where most of the mums don't work etc this would be tough.

I can't imagine it's particularly great for teachers either to have to give up a teaching afternoon for a parents evening either.

Also does anyone actually really learn anything at parents evening.

Absolutely yes, they have always been a two way communication and sharing of information beyond what was written on the report card with ds's teachers. I have shared with ds's teachers any positive comments and/or concerns ds or I have and the teachers have provided information or advice that has proven very useful or taken points away to deal with.

When ds was in secondary there were some subjects I skipped a parents evening appointment if he wasn't taking them the following year, for others I would go prepared with a couple of comments/questions written down for every subject and would also start by saying as time is short you don't need to repeat the report card it was all clear, but I have a couple of questions....

Can't think of anything worse for a teacher sitting repeating report card after report card with a parents nodding and not contributing anything. If you don't have anything to say or if you don't find them valuable then don't go, I am sure the teachers won't mind 🤷‍♀️

This is all very white collar chat. People people claiming schools are out of touch, while not even considering that many people don't work 9-5.

At my school, all appointments from 2-4:30 get booked straight away. Then there will be a few people booked in at 6:30-7. Every time. So my school are directing 2 hours of wasted time. They do it because they value the 3 parents that want the late slot. I agree that they should.

But I do get why some schools decide to cut their losses and end earlier, especially those that don't serve predominantly white collar communities.

You really think your child's class is the only one a teacher has 😂. It's not going to be occasional extra hours. Many teachers will have classes across 6-7 year groups so that's 6-7 parents evenings per year. Obviously those will not be the only extra commitment, that's just parents' evenings!

And before people say, "Well I / my DH / my friend does loads of evenings schmoozing clients etc." Do they also earn 30K?

Ps. Not related to any teachers nor am I one. But I really feel for them. It's not a job I'd do for the money!

6 per year is one every two months.

All my children's schools are now virtual. Primary always did it during the day but now I can log in from work and so can dh - takes 10mins out of my day instead of 2 plus hours driving to the school and waiting about.

They're not spread out evenly across the year. Teachers at my school will have already had late evenings this term for meeting the form tutor, and two open evenings, so that's about one a fortnight. Parents' evenings kick off after half term and are clustered over the next three months, because having them in the summer term is a waste of time.

Summer term has other commitments.

I dont find primary parents evening that important as I have lots contact with primary school anyway.
Secondary is vital especially after covid as havnt a clue who was teaching my kids or what they were doing.

But school maybe not the teacher do seem to mind because you get hassled for not booking.

Maybe I’m lucky or something but our teachers come out in the morning and speak to any parents or children who want to, again after school, also get little postcards sent home for extra good stuff, phone calls for being the top of the class/subject on a test, log in on the portal and can directly message back and forth with the teacher for any concerns or prises again.

All the schools my children are at really tell you everything constantly with a very open door policy if you have any questions or worries but they also expect everyone to turn out for parents evening.