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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think ex shouldn't give his baby DS’s middle name

39 replies

colazzo · 12/10/2022 17:18

DS is nearly 2, me and ex gave him a common middle name, it doesn't have any sentimental meaning, we just liked the name.

Ex’s partner has recently given birth and they've given baby the same middle name as DS

Aibu to think he shouldn't have done this?

OP posts:
Ihatethenewlook · 12/10/2022 17:19

It is a little bit weird. Is his partner aware it’s your ds middle name?

sandytooth · 12/10/2022 17:23

Middle name and a commonly used name, fine. Maybe he wanted it as a first name for your DS really.

Maybe his new partner likes it.

I'd just brush it off as one of those oh interesting coincidence.

Newusernameaug · 12/10/2022 17:23

You don’t know what the name means to his new partner though?
it honestly wouldn’t bother me, they have their reasons for choosing it and I’m pretty sure that choosing their child’s name was not done to spite you! It’s really not something to get worked up over.

sandytooth · 12/10/2022 17:24

Newusernameaug · 12/10/2022 17:23

You don’t know what the name means to his new partner though?
it honestly wouldn’t bother me, they have their reasons for choosing it and I’m pretty sure that choosing their child’s name was not done to spite you! It’s really not something to get worked up over.

Yes they aren't going to have thought this will really piss colazzo off when choosing a name.

MRSE20 · 12/10/2022 17:27

This is a bit different but I remember being in love with the name Chloe (we were about to start ttc but then broke up), ex wasn’t fond of the name. A year later he is a dad with new woman. They called their child Chloe. I always find that odd.

It is a bit weird but I wouldn’t worry about it too much, it might have meaning to her.

Cattenberg · 12/10/2022 17:42

I have the same middle name as my Grandma, an aunt and at least two cousins, so it doesn’t seem that weird to me. Do the two boys have different surnames? If so, it might be nice for them to share a middle name, perhaps from their Dad’s side.

Speaking of odd, one of my old school friends has the same first name as her step-mum. Her dad left her mum for the OW when my friend was pretty young, so she fears that this wasn’t a coincidence. My friend would get very annoyed if anyone called her by the common short form of her name (which her step-mum went by).

Testina · 12/10/2022 17:50

Probably his girlfriend likes it, and he thinks it’s cute to use it for both his kids’ middle names. No big deal.

SpinningFloppa · 12/10/2022 17:52

I think the op means he gave their ds middle name as his new babies first name, not both as middle names.

Testina · 12/10/2022 17:54

SpinningFloppa · 12/10/2022 17:52

I think the op means he gave their ds middle name as his new babies first name, not both as middle names.

That’s what she says in the title, but not the OP. Although could be clumsy phrasing. Doesn’t change my opinion though.

Hearthnhome · 12/10/2022 17:54

SpinningFloppa · 12/10/2022 17:52

I think the op means he gave their ds middle name as his new babies first name, not both as middle names.

Op says ‘given the same middle name’

Coffeaddict · 12/10/2022 17:56

I wouldn't worry too much about a middle name especially if common.
My aunt has the same first name as my mum's middle name. Didn't cause any issues. My 2 year old wouldn't know his middle name and to be honest I would be surprised if 10 year old DSS even knew his middle name. I have never heard him say it.

SpinningFloppa · 12/10/2022 17:56

Ah ok if it’s just the same middle names that’s a total non issue who uses middle names day to day!

girlmom21 · 12/10/2022 17:57

Their middle name doesn't really matter

SuzySangfroid · 12/10/2022 17:57

If it's James or Thomas or something then I don't find it that weird. Also, it's only a middle name. I wouldn't think too much of this. He maybe just only likes a few names or doesn't have much of an imagination

ClocksGoingBackwards · 12/10/2022 17:58

Maybe he was trying to give his children a link to each other in some misguided way.

DogsDryWineAndCheese · 12/10/2022 18:00

I think it’s quite nice (and given that they’re siblings - not all that unusual).

TheMoops · 12/10/2022 18:00

ClocksGoingBackwards · 12/10/2022 17:58

Maybe he was trying to give his children a link to each other in some misguided way.

This.
My half sister has the same middle name as me. My dad chose it to connect us.
Now we're both grown up we quite like it

pinkyredrose · 12/10/2022 18:03

Maybe the baby's mother named her baby?

Autumntime2022 · 12/10/2022 18:13

Have they got different last names? If so I think it’s nice they are connected by middle name.

ComtesseDeSpair · 12/10/2022 18:13

I don’t think this is that unusual, I know two people who have given all their children the same middle name. It’s a nice connection I think - whilst he may be your ex and his new baby nothing to do with you, he’s your son’s sibling.

EL8888 · 12/10/2022 18:14

I think it’s odd (and lazy!)

sandytooth · 12/10/2022 18:15

OHhh! I misread. Same middle names? No problem. Nice for them to have a link. Embrace it.

TigerRag · 12/10/2022 18:16

A friend has two children and both have the same middle name. I find that odd.

MaryShelley1818 · 12/10/2022 18:18

I really can't see the big deal 😕

StupidSmallFruit · 12/10/2022 18:20

I think the new baby has the same name as their first name rather than middle, and it’s just unclear wording in the first post, but the OP will need to come back to confirm.

Either way, it’s done now, so might as well make peace and move on.