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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why is the AIBU poll often very different from the comments

30 replies

Arbesque · 12/10/2022 08:36

Just that really. I've often seen a poll where the majority of comments are YABU but the poll is hugely in agreement with the OP.

Why such a discrepancy? Obviously some posters just don't want to post and go against the prevailing comments, but there's often a really big difference.

OP posts:
SavoirFlair · 12/10/2022 08:38

I've often seen a poll where the majority of comments are YABU but the poll is hugely in agreement with the OP.

Because a significant majority of posters in here enjoy giving a poster a good kicking verbally and telling them they’re being unreasonable despite their own personal opinions. The posts are often worded in a way to “draw blood” and get the OP to respond.

The poll however doesn’t do any of that, so it’s more reliable as an indicator because it doesn’t directly affect the OP the same way or draw out troll like behaviour

User84 · 12/10/2022 08:41

Lots of us have the poll thing turned off

rainbowandglitter · 12/10/2022 08:42

I've never seen a poll. Does it work on the app?

vodkaredbullgirl · 12/10/2022 08:43

Probably 1/2 the votes are from people who don't post on these threads.

buggeredmyleg · 12/10/2022 08:43

There are no polls on the app.

lannistunut · 12/10/2022 08:44

Because neither the poll responses or the thread responses are a representative sample, both sets of data are fairly meaningless. I sometimes vote and don't comment, sometimes comment but don't vote, sometimes both, obviously mostly neither.

MarshmallowMadness · 12/10/2022 08:45

Its about time they put the polls on the app. But yes I suppose that’s why.

melchim · 12/10/2022 08:45

The most strident opinions get voiced in the thread, they set the tone and then people don't want the hassle of going against the tide by posting a different opinion and being piled on, so they just vote instead.

SavoirFlair · 12/10/2022 08:46

I mean here’s a scenario that I’ve seen happen:

OP: “My numbered parking space I own in a flat is parked on by a neighbour daily. AIBU?”

POLL: YANBU (92%)

POSTS: YABU

• “You chose to live in a flat?”
• “Couldn’t you afford to buy a house with a drive?”
• “The neighbour probably has their reasons. YABU”
• “The neighbour could have a hidden disability”
• “If we all just shared everything would be better”
• “You’re clearly not using it when they choose to park so why bother?”

etc..

all goady designed to make OP feel small , but the poll clearly stating nearly all members actually agree with them

Dotjones · 12/10/2022 08:47

Two reasons I think. One, voting is quick, typing a response can take a long time if it's detailed. Two, the question being asked doesn't always fit a binary YABU/YANBU response. For instance if I asked "AIBU to consider leaving my boyfriend after he pushed me down the stairs and laughed?" both YABU and YANBU would be used by people who thought I should leave him, YANBU because I shoud consider leaving him and YABU because I am having any doubts about it in the first place.

luxxlisbon · 12/10/2022 08:47

A combination of people answering but not wanting to be accountable for their opinion and then people just trolling the poll.

CloudPop · 12/10/2022 08:48

@SavoirFlair very well put!

ZeroFuchsGiven · 12/10/2022 08:48

I will often click the poll but not comment, I'm sure there are others do the same.

Original poster
Arbesque · 12/10/2022 08:48

SavoirFlair · 12/10/2022 08:38

I've often seen a poll where the majority of comments are YABU but the poll is hugely in agreement with the OP.

Because a significant majority of posters in here enjoy giving a poster a good kicking verbally and telling them they’re being unreasonable despite their own personal opinions. The posts are often worded in a way to “draw blood” and get the OP to respond.

The poll however doesn’t do any of that, so it’s more reliable as an indicator because it doesn’t directly affect the OP the same way or draw out troll like behaviour

Thanks
I posted about something I was genuinely upset and worried about yesterday. The poll was high 60s that I wasn't being unreasonable but the majority of the comments were YABU.
Some of them (not all) were worded quite nastily and made me feel even worse.
I was just thinking about the discrepancy this morning and wondering why most of the voters didn't try to balance out the comments.

OP posts:
FloydPepper · 12/10/2022 08:49

When people will get shouted down, insulted and belittled for their opinions they don’t change them, they just stop sharing them.

that’s what happens on threads. It’s what happens in elections where one side gets nasty and then are surprised they lose.

buggeredmyleg · 12/10/2022 08:50

@SavoirFlair but there's no poll on the iPhone app? I use my on my phone and I was confused for months what people were talking about until I went on the website and saw the polls.

So it might be people like me who don't have the option to vote who comment

SavoirFlair · 12/10/2022 08:50

Some of them (not all) were worded quite nastily and made me feel even worse.

I am genuinely sorry to hear that @Arbesque and that is of course, sadly, deliberate of these posters

buggeredmyleg · 12/10/2022 08:50

*mn

FloydPepper · 12/10/2022 08:51

luxxlisbon · 12/10/2022 08:47

A combination of people answering but not wanting to be accountable for their opinion and then people just trolling the poll.

Interesting. You feel they should be accountable? Able to have that opinion challenged? Told they are wrong?

sorry, just interested in use of the word accountable.

Meseekslookatme · 12/10/2022 08:51

Silent majority.
Example: every general election ever.

CloudPop · 12/10/2022 08:52

I wonder why the polls aren't on the app. It's strange that so much functionality is built into the website but not the app.

SavoirFlair · 12/10/2022 08:52

buggeredmyleg · 12/10/2022 08:50

@SavoirFlair but there's no poll on the iPhone app? I use my on my phone and I was confused for months what people were talking about until I went on the website and saw the polls.

So it might be people like me who don't have the option to vote who comment

I’m talking about posts where I’ve seen 400 or so votes but fewer comments. The 400 odd votes are all in favour of the OP, the comments are all designed to deconstruct or tear apart the premise of the OP.

What I’m saying is it doesn’t matter if polling is available or not in iPhone , what I see is a trend where polls are one way, but comments are resolutely written to make a person feel silly for even daring to post, but then when challenged the writer says “but it’s AIBU it’s meant to be robust / we don’t all have to agree” etc

buggeredmyleg · 12/10/2022 08:55

CloudPop · 12/10/2022 08:52

I wonder why the polls aren't on the app. It's strange that so much functionality is built into the website but not the app.

Same. I struggle with the website on my phone and I prefer the app. But that means I never vote because I don't get the option.

mondaytosunday · 12/10/2022 09:11

I do not get the poll option either. I don't recall turning it off. Not that I want it on though!

MarshaBradyo · 12/10/2022 09:13

It’d be because a topic is heated and people posting the unwelcome view will get lambasted