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AIBU?

Do you think this was a bit shitty of them or AIBU?

58 replies

Wonderful33 · 12/10/2022 00:26

A sofa came up on my local freecycle page, mine is falling apart so I messaged the person asking to be considered.

They said yes. We discuss measurements, they ask if I can collect it on Thursday. I tell them yes and then I contact a 'man with a van' via an advert in the paper.

He says he'll take the job and gives me a quote, I tell him I haven't confirmed a time yet but that was ok with him.. he just put me down as afternoon.

I go back and tell the seller I have arranged the van and could they kindly send me their address.

Radio silence until 9 hours later at quarter past midnight when they respond to say they've decided to give it to a family member...

Ofc I'm a bit gutted but AIBU to think that was a bit shitty?

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

292 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
13%
You are NOT being unreasonable
87%
sst1234 · 12/10/2022 07:53

Jacopo · 12/10/2022 02:20

Their response about letting down the van man - “I’m sure he’ll get over it” - is the height of rudeness. Some people are just vile.
YANBU

Vile? Are you always this dramatic about minor situations.

This thread is generating some weird reactions z

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OnTheRunWithMannyMontana · 12/10/2022 07:55

Wonderful33 · 12/10/2022 07:41

I'm thinking perhaps it wasn't a genuine ad in the first place. I have passed on a fair few things through freecycle and it wouldn't occur to send any of the receivers a message in the middle of the night regardless.

There are some strange people in the world after all, as we can see with Keyansier 😵‍💫

Haha there's some oddballs around here in the wee hours! I do hope that you will call 101 or adult services maybe to get this poor lonely old sofa dude his much needed help!

Echoing a pp though who said if you found out a relative needed an item you were gifting then said relative would take priority. I know it's still disappointing for you though.

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sandytooth · 12/10/2022 07:58

Keyansier · 12/10/2022 02:37

Yes, people do because some people are that lonely. I find yours to be a bit of a dismissive response tbh. Not saying the OP shouldn't have felt disappointed by the situation as it happened to her but I would have looked into assisting this man with some kind of help instead of immediately judging.

Assisting the man in what?!

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sandytooth · 12/10/2022 08:01

Some odd responses here.

Anyway yes its a bit shitty but that is the nature of free cycle unfortunately, people get fed up of no shows so if someone they know wants it they are bound to go with that option. Their response re van man was pretty rude but van man will understand.

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Wonderful33 · 12/10/2022 08:15

I've sent the van man a message explaining. I feel bad for messing him about especially in the current climate when people need work more than ever, but it can't he helped I guess.

I agree the sofa persons response was unnecessarily rude.

I'll keep my eyes out for something else coming up.

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sandytooth · 12/10/2022 08:17

Wonderful33 · 12/10/2022 08:15

I've sent the van man a message explaining. I feel bad for messing him about especially in the current climate when people need work more than ever, but it can't he helped I guess.

I agree the sofa persons response was unnecessarily rude.

I'll keep my eyes out for something else coming up.

Don't worry too much, unfortunately I expect he is used to it.

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DismantledKing · 12/10/2022 08:19

Keyansier · 12/10/2022 02:37

Yes, people do because some people are that lonely. I find yours to be a bit of a dismissive response tbh. Not saying the OP shouldn't have felt disappointed by the situation as it happened to her but I would have looked into assisting this man with some kind of help instead of immediately judging.

Wow. The Mumsnet weirdos really do come out during the night.

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georgarina · 12/10/2022 08:22

YANBU
But it's the nature of Freecycle unfortunately
On the upside sometimes you get great things!
Got DS' unused mattress and bed frame for free with it.

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Wonderful33 · 12/10/2022 08:37

I've just been looking on gumtree to see if there is anything suitable for sale and what pops up.. that exact sofa, from the same man, for sale for £100.

I expect the family member doesn't exist and he opted to sell it to somebody on gumtree instead.

The annoying part is I would have gladly paid for it...

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PeskyRooks · 12/10/2022 09:09

Why don't you buy it then?

You can re-instate van man.

It will be funny to phone sofa man again to arrange it he'll have to front it that he was lying!

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mondaytosunday · 12/10/2022 09:22

They should have called/texted you as soon as they decided to dispose of it another way. As for the van guy - I'm sure he's used to cancellations all the time.

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Gatekeeper · 12/10/2022 09:49

Keyansier · 12/10/2022 01:07

Okay so it fell through for you but its hardly the guy's fault. It sounds like he was lonely and used this as an outlet to talk to a person, god knows the world is very busy for it these days to get a response back. You sound a bit entitled tbh.

Are you off your rocker??????

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CulturePigeon · 12/10/2022 09:49

It's so annoying. I wish people would get their act together before advertising.

I bought something off eBay once (won auction and paid) and then the vendor, who I think was a young girl, said 'Oh sorry, it's my gran's and she's changed her mind now." I refrained from giving her a bad review (which is a big step on eBay) but I messaged her to say I was well cheesed off. Grrr.

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Wonderful33 · 12/10/2022 09:52

PeskyRooks · 12/10/2022 09:09

Why don't you buy it then?

You can re-instate van man.

It will be funny to phone sofa man again to arrange it he'll have to front it that he was lying!

I considered that but it would be too awkward. I had reported them on the freecycle site for rudeness and time wasting.

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Wonderful33 · 12/10/2022 09:53

CulturePigeon · 12/10/2022 09:49

It's so annoying. I wish people would get their act together before advertising.

I bought something off eBay once (won auction and paid) and then the vendor, who I think was a young girl, said 'Oh sorry, it's my gran's and she's changed her mind now." I refrained from giving her a bad review (which is a big step on eBay) but I messaged her to say I was well cheesed off. Grrr.

So annoying isn't it?!

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SpringSparrow · 12/10/2022 09:57

It sounds like he has decided that he doesn’t want to give it away for free and that it’s worth something. If you really liked it, maybe it’s worth messaging him again? £100 isn’t much for a sofa? What do you think it’s worth?

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CherieBabySpliffUp · 12/10/2022 09:59

I wouldn't message them saying you've seen it for £100. They've messed you around once, they could do so again.

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Wonderful33 · 12/10/2022 10:00

SpringSparrow · 12/10/2022 09:57

It sounds like he has decided that he doesn’t want to give it away for free and that it’s worth something. If you really liked it, maybe it’s worth messaging him again? £100 isn’t much for a sofa? What do you think it’s worth?

I would have happily paid the £100 for it had he been upfront, or had I seen the gumtree listing before the freecycle one.

I don't want to do business with him at all now as he was so rude and messed me around. I'm sure I'll be able to find something reasonable elsewhere before long.

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Sunbun19 · 12/10/2022 10:02

Keyansier · 12/10/2022 01:07

Okay so it fell through for you but its hardly the guy's fault. It sounds like he was lonely and used this as an outlet to talk to a person, god knows the world is very busy for it these days to get a response back. You sound a bit entitled tbh.

What the hell lol

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Mochudubh · 12/10/2022 10:06

Keyansier · 12/10/2022 02:37

Yes, people do because some people are that lonely. I find yours to be a bit of a dismissive response tbh. Not saying the OP shouldn't have felt disappointed by the situation as it happened to her but I would have looked into assisting this man with some kind of help instead of immediately judging.

Do you need some liniment after that stretch?

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BettyBootsie · 12/10/2022 10:25

Wonderful33 · 12/10/2022 10:00

I would have happily paid the £100 for it had he been upfront, or had I seen the gumtree listing before the freecycle one.

I don't want to do business with him at all now as he was so rude and messed me around. I'm sure I'll be able to find something reasonable elsewhere before long.

You could mess him around on Gumtree the way he messed you around on Freecycle 😜but I'm a bit devious like that 😉😁

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AutumnScream · 12/10/2022 10:34

Some people are dickheads. Ive been on both sides of this. Asked for a second hand childrens bike and was told she was thrilled someone finally wanted it. She even said after i gave my address she would drop it round next day at midday. (I offered her fuel money on top of money for the bike.) I went to the post office early to get the money out and waited and waited. By 2pm i sent a polite message asking if she needed a change of time. More hours pass then she finally replies saying sorry my husband has given it to his relatives. Wtf why mess me around?

On the other hand when i give away free stuff people mess me around ask for my address and then never show up for it.

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girlmom21 · 12/10/2022 10:39

I would message him and say you've seen it for sale and are happy to pay for it. At £100 it's still a bargain.

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girlmom21 · 12/10/2022 10:39

Keyansier · 12/10/2022 01:07

Okay so it fell through for you but its hardly the guy's fault. It sounds like he was lonely and used this as an outlet to talk to a person, god knows the world is very busy for it these days to get a response back. You sound a bit entitled tbh.

Were you drinking last night because you're normally fairly rational but I've seen some bonkers posts from you today!

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OnTheRunWithMannyMontana · 12/10/2022 10:46

Wonderful33 · 12/10/2022 08:37

I've just been looking on gumtree to see if there is anything suitable for sale and what pops up.. that exact sofa, from the same man, for sale for £100.

I expect the family member doesn't exist and he opted to sell it to somebody on gumtree instead.

The annoying part is I would have gladly paid for it...

Can you see when he posted the gumtree ad?

Just wondering if his original intention was to sell it but nobody has wanted it so the free cycle post came later?

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