To not put meds in DS’s drink?

[uralecru]

Reposting for traffic as id like more opinions, sorry if that's not allowed

DS is 17, we all suspect he has BPD, he's currently under camhs. In July, he had to stay in hospital for a few days as he was a danger to himself - he would've been sectioned but I was told this would've done him more harm than good. His antidepressents had started working and he seemed a bit better, he's not self harmed for months (that I know about) so I thought things were starting to get better after a horrible year.

College started and so did the anxiety but he still seemed ok.

However, yesterday one of his friends told me that he's been telling her he feels how he did before but another ‘friend’ had told him recently he complains 24/7 so he's stopped telling everyone how he feels, that he doesn't think he'll make it to 18 etc.

He's not taken his meds for a few days either, when asked why he's just told us he doesn't want to and no one can force him.

Today, I phoned his psychiatrist and told her what his friend told me and that he's not taking his meds, she wants to see him tomorrow and I've told him this, which seemed to make him angry as he was shouting at me that they're going to say he's unsafe again but he's really fine etc.

DP has said I shouldn't have phoned her as I've probably made things worse now with his anxiety and we should've just put the meds in his drink as its a liquid, but I don't know how I'd feel doing this as it would help him, but its also lying to him. DP has also said they probably won't be able to do anything as he’s made it clear no one can force him, I'm not sure what they can do but I was at a loss earlier.

WIBU to phone his psychiatrist and AIBU to not put the meds in his drink?

No, do not secretly give him his meds. It is deeply unethical, and you will destroy any trust you have with him.

If he has side effects, he could end up thinking there is something very wrong that could cause more issues than you want to solve.

Your DH is taking the lazy, can't be bothered route as opposed to doing what will help long term. And thats getting the professionals involved.

If thats not clear enough. Do not put meds in his drink or food.

If the diagnosis of BPD means Bi-Polar Disorder (not Borderline Personality Disorder), a lot of people stop taking the meds as they miss the “highs” they feel as a result of their illness. The stabilization of emotion and thought makes them feel lethargic and flat. (Even though it’s safer for them.)
If it’s Borderline, the feelings related to meds are often similar, along with the conviction that they are in control of their thoughts and behaviours and often the family and friends affected by them, as well as the medical professionals prescribing them. Someone above mentioned the manipulative behaviours associated, and this is definitely true.

Either way, putting meds in their drinks/food is not just unethical, it also means that the patient may not receive the full dose if they don’t finish every single bit. Some meds are coated because they are designed to be absorbed in specific parts of the digestive system, they should not be crushed as they may be rendered virtually useless, or the patient may absorb different doses each time. Also, the medical professionals need to know about the patient refusing meds as this itself may be symptomatic of another episode.

Agree with the above poster that you need to be aware of how the medication is absorbed. Some medications are extended release so dissolving them or crushing them is a huge no

She said it's liquid

hey op, how is your son today? thinking of you. is it possible he's experiencing some withdrawal as a result of stopping abruptly? could it be put to him that he at least needs to taper- then he can still feel like he's calling the shots- but at least he'll take something (and if he starts feeling better again, he might consider continuing with the medication). I hope that makes sense- I'm currently decreasing prozac myself so the impact of withdrawal is obviously uppermost in my mind. I don't mean to project though!