To ask friends to bring activities for their children.

[PandaOrLion]

Within our friends, we are the only ones without children, although I’m currently pregnant. It’s pretty common for us to meet up over mealtimes and usually we go to the friends house, sometimes they will cook and sometimes we’ll take food to heat up/take away.

DH and I are happy to host at ours but I usually ask friends bring something for their children to do. All children are primary school age.

Just recently, a few friends have said they won’t bring something as their children enjoy our house so much. I find this frustrating as although their children enjoy ours for the first ten mins, they then get bored. I’ve got a few childrens books and some board games I can adapt but nothing else. It ends up that I’m running hide and seek, drawing, adapted games etc and basically entertaining their children who then get bored and say they want to go home. Parents are usually watching/chatting. DH and I take it in turns to entertain children and cook.

YABU to suggest friends bring something for their child to do?

YANBU parents need to provide something for their children to do in a house that doesn’t have children

Neither option. Stop performing as a child entertainer. You’re catering. That’s enough.

I’d always make sure I take stuff for my son including snacks to somewhere.. even with other kids! It’s just polite. They’re used to you entertaining them as well as their kids and that’s not ok.. or fun for you!

Ha! You're being used as guilt free wholesome entertainment, I don't blame the parents but you are nunnery no obligation to entertain the littleones, redirect to their parent.

Blame the tiredness in pregnancy if you want a get out.

I’d just say ah that’s great they love it here so much but as I’m pregnant I’m afraid I won’t be up for playing x games so be great if you could bring something to entertain the kids. If all else fails stick a film on the TV for them or kids channel. It’s not your responsibility to entertain their children. You’ve made it clear you expect them to bring something to occupy them

It sounds very sensible for you to ask them to bring stuff!

And yes, stop being the entertainer - that sounds exhausting if you don't really want to do it. Their parents are cheeky sods.

I’ve tried! It’s led to grumpy, bored children and parents who are apologetic for their children (but don’t do anything) or children going slightly wild round the house (and then I/DH has to ask them not to etc)

Its only a couple of families, most bring something or meet up outside.

Just stick the tv on.

Invest in some plastic tat. They will leave your home begging their dps for similar plastic tat..
They will bring bags of nice environmentally friendly educational things next visit..

Sounds like they need a movie night 🤷🏻‍♀️

If the parents won’t supervise their children, the bringing of ‘activities’ won’t make any difference. Children don’t do activities without adult input for very long.

Tell them that you want to enjoy your precious few child-free weeks child-free and can they all get babysitters for your next social event.

You'll have a much nicer time then.

So what's happening is you're hosting and catering, the parents come and bring their kids. They then spend time socialising amongst themselves whilst you feed them all and play with their kids to keep them entertained?

Erm no, put a stop to that now!

Either do as the pp asked and say you want to embrace your child free time whilst you can so babysitters for the next one, or insist that they bring some entertainment. Tell them that you'd like the opportunity to chat and socialise too. Then stick to it, it'll the kids whinge then tough, parents take them home or deal with it themselves.

How rude of them! CFs!

Before anyone says I'm mean I have a 6 and 4 year old too. I know how nice it is to be hands off for a bit and have adult time. But I wouldnt dream of behaving like this!

Stick Nickelodeon on. Get big boxes of tangfastics, cheese balls and fruit shoots. Get a cheap pack of printer paper and a pack of felt tips. Then tell them in a very serious voice that you’ve seen fairies in the garden and they should go and see if they can get a photo of one. £5 for the first that does.

That should kill an hour or two.

Brilliant idea. Send them home with a recorder.

I find these threads hard to believe.

What kind of friends, when asked would refuse to bring extras to help entertain their DC.

@EmeraldShamrock1 generally the friends who say no are ones who live in the moment a lot - either due to their emotional capacity or their personality. Its not all our friends, but the ones who usually struggle to think through bringing coats and wellies if we’re doing a walk in the winter are also the same friends who don’t bring something.

im not asking them to bring a lot - just that most friends bring a game, books, some kind of toys which mean the child has something to do for some of the time.

Just put a film on for them. I wouldn’t be playing with them.

But yes the parents should bring stuff. They probably haven’t because you’ve been so lovely and entertained them but once you put a stop to that…

Its not all our friends, but the ones who usually struggle to think through bringing coats and wellies if we’re doing a walk in the winter

I couldn't even be friends with these people. Stop entertaining their children. Makes areas of your home you don't want trashed out of bounds and get on with enjoying your friends and cooking. I'd go no further than sticking on Disney+to entertain the children.

Gosh you're making this hard.

Kids movie. Snacks. Duvet and blankets and ignore them. Maybe colouring as above depending on age (if not supervised don't want them drawing on your walls..)

Are you hosting or are you not? Don't invite the kids if you don't want to entertain them, but if you invite them then that's part of the package surely?

Put the tv on, job done - if the parents don't approve tough. If you have a game's console even better, put on grand theft auto

Absolutely brilliant 👏

Just stick the TV on.

I was going to recommend the same. Start plonking the telly on or even better get a games console. Then let the kids play it. In the living room. At full volume.

May I recommend Super Smash Bros on the Nintendo switch. Guaranteed to piss off the parents very quickly.

There is no way I'd entertain their DC past feeding them.